Whistle
by zaggy26
Summary: Cat and Jade. This story sets to the beginning of their friendship from birth but things get bumpy and sometimes, they wonder this strong connection they have for each other could be more than companionship. Rated T at first but might slip to Rated M.
1. Introduction

Author's Note: Hi..my name is Yaz. This is a first time I've ever written a fanfiction nor a story. I just want to write to keep my writing skills in action since I'm a songwriter and much others. This is going to be sort of slow...I have to say this introduction isn't the best I could of done possibly. I'm a Cade shipper and this story will be kept at the begininning of Cat and Jade's friendship igniting per chapter. Throughout the story, with these emotions they have always conducted for each other, is it more than companionship or it's just how best friends are like? The things you do and went through with that person...

**I****don****'****t ****own ****Victorious ****and ****the ****characters, ****of ****course.** I'm keeping the rating at T and it'll possibly go to rated M depending how this writing leads into!

Whistle For The Choir

Ch. 1; Introduction

_Well, __it__'__s __a __big, __big __city __and __it__'__s __always __the __same._

_ Can never be too pretty, tell me your name?_

_ Is it out of line if I was to be bold,_

_ And say, "Would you be mine?"..._

Who would of thought that specifically a human being could stroll around the heart of Los Angeles with the appearance that could outshine everybody which only Caterina Valentine has ever believed through out the years...or maybe...she was just in too much awe with this human just like those fascinating moments she had with her Kindergarden teacher's toys that her teacher would give her always since she was the outcast among her snobby class.

At age two, she spoke to her parents quickly with gibberish and wobbly movements that they thought their newborn child already has developed mental problems just like her five year old brother had. At age three, she had a vivid imagination by being curious enough to crawl around the house; damaging the house furniture, tipping down the dishes towards the carpet floor, playing with the bugs outside the Valentine's backyard, drawing random creatures that not even her parents could figure out if her drawing of a dog is a dog and a drawing of a cat is a cat. I guess this is why ever since that age, Caterina has grown up to still be in that state of mind of a young child from Elementary School. As a baby, she thought the world was the greatest thing and always had a positive mind even though there are so much moments of loneliness being given to her. She figured loneliness was her only friend that with that issue, she speaks to her thoughts that she could form friends of her own. Imaginary ones that is. At times, the child felt sad; not depression yet since I believe depression is a huge word for just a sixyear old.

Caterina Valentine was born with those innocent brown eyes, harmony, adorable button nose, a sugary, sweet assuring smile, tremendous and gorgeous long brown hair, petite body, and of course, that cute dimple she always wears on her face. But her smile aren't ALWAYS planted on her...not always..

Jadelyn West. Oh Jade. From the heart of Texas, the West family decided to move to Los Angeles, California so Mr. West could get a well-paid job for the family. Mrs. West doesn't do much around the family except take good care of her daughter. At age three, she starts to speak well enough for a kid that age and the West parents were thrilled just like what every parent would be for their child. She wasn't very naturally hyper; just a very mild child except the fact that her parents start to think their first child is very pecuilar...in fact, Jade insisted that her friend was a hammer and she would hammer down the puzzle pieces she would usually play with her mother when they try to do a 10 pieced puzzle together that Jade couldn't figure out herself. She loathed ice cream, vegetables, candy; Hell, she loathed a bunch of ordinary things and some are very...out of the ordinary. Jade never had any friends till she attended Indian Valley Elementary School in Los Angeles..

Jadelyn West was born with those hailed blue eyes, her long, wavy brown hair, and of course, that rividing smile she could beam. Her smile doesn't appear as much as to why the reason why she doesn't want to...She could feel a hint of loneliness; whoa wait, Jadelyn West has emotions. No. Well...till a certain ditzy invades her life at such a young age...Too bad she pretends she doesn't have any to anybody except Caterina..

"Kids..er- you have a new student and well, I like to give a warm welcome to Jadelyn West..." says Mr. Lightfoot, looking bothered as if this new aggrevated child was going to murder him with the scissors she's been holding since the bell rang. The children clapped and Jade already rolled her eyes, giving the impression to the teacher that he was facing with discontent already.

"Hmmm...why don't you sit next to...Ah, Caterina Valentine, perhaps?", Mr. Lightfoot inquiries as he points his finger to the empty desk next to Caterina.

"Okay." Jade says without emotion and walks over to Caterina. Caterina's eyes were pretty bugged out and at first, Jade thought she was a freak but something about Caterina's eyes just draws her in and makes her think this was going to be okay untill...

"HIIIIII!"

A shriek happened to attack Jade's right ear as Jade sat down and she looked over who's next to her. Caterina showed that remarkable smile of her's and made a cute little wave. Jade flashed a fake smile and sat down.

Through out the whole futile day of school, Caterina and Jade were silent...even through recess, Caterina mostly stayed at the school library to read and Jade was staying at the bathroom, cutting up the plastic trash cans. Needless to say, the class already thought Jade was a creep. Caterina couldn't stop letting Jade cross her mind every time. At first, Caterina feared Jade was going to hurt her when she sat next to her in class but as the silence seeps through the atomsphere they were both in, she felt comfortable around her; like she could actually endure no words spoken. Jade couldn't stop letting Caterina cross her mind every time also. Everytime Caterina shoots a glance at Jade as they were doing math before recess, she shoots a glance back at her and sometimes she would catch Caterina's glances. Within a second, she felt some sort of connection. She never had a friend before and neither did Caterina.

_Because __I __may__be __a __beggar __and __you __maybe __the __queen._

_ I know I maybe on a downer, I'm still ready to dream._

_ Though it's 3 o'clock,_

_ The time is just the time it takes for you to talk._

The dreadness was over for Jade and she wanted to go home as soon as possible but her mother forgot the time to pick her up so she had to wait. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Caterina sitting on the curb all alone, hugging her knees and rocking back and

forth. Jade was debating to walk over to her to keep her company or she could be a little bitch for a young kid, stay in position, and ignore the fact that the person who endured sitting next to her the whole day of school is sitting across from her.

The sun was gazing upon Jade's face and Caterina couldn't help but stare at Jade when Jade tilts her head up to the sky. Another first impression of Caterina that I've forgot to mention for Jade was that she always thought Jade was really pretty...Shit, her eyes are very intensive and even when you know Jade flashes a fake grin, it's so gorgeous so I couldn't blame her. The sun beamed on Jade and surprisingly, Jade got up and walk up to Caterina to sit next to her.

"Hi. What's your name?" says Jade.

"Caterina..." says Caterina, shyly.

"Oh...that's a pretty name."

"Really? You think so?" Cat beamed with joy that freaked Jade out.

"...Yeah..."

Silence sneaks into their atmosphere again. Outcast meets outcast. Jade starts to play with her fingers and Caterina plays with the stick that was beside her.

"...I never had a friend before..." Caterina says sadly, out of the blue.

"Me too..." Jade responded. Another silence comes.

"...Do you want to be my friend?" Caterina breaks the silence.

"Mmmm okay...I don't like how long your name is though." says Jade.

"What's that suppose to mean!" Cat shrieks to Jade.

"Uhm nothing...Can I call you Cat? Cat seems nice and I like cats."

"Oooo! I love kittens! Yes! I have a friend now! I have to tell my parents!" beamed Cat.

Jade starts to feel a smile coming and she never thought that her emotions of happiness could appear on her face. They talk about a variety of things they both liked; some were menacing to Jade, some shocked Cat, and most of the time, they enjoyed each other's interests and their first presence. Through out elementary school, Cat and Jade had been close friends. Even though Cat's personality could sometimes irritate Jade, Jade started to love her up-beat, positive, and feminine self. She was the only person that Jade could accept a person like Cat. In fact, Cat was the first person Jade has loved. Cat started loving Jade's low, pecuilar, rude self but Cat didn't set her beliefs on anybody saying Jade is rotten. Cat felt that she knows the real Jade inside. The outer shell of Jade could terrify people but Cat felt that Jade has a heart somewhere inside through out the cowebs and dust that lives within Jade. Cat could past through those cowebs if she wanted to since nobody has ever. Jade would try to let Cat in. Even numorous of infinitesimal fights they could have, they would always be in dismay for each other. They never wanted to lose each other and sometimes, they wonder if their durable connection was more than and Jade would shake the thought out, believing it's ultimately wrong to be in love with their best friend. But they were adolescents; they don't know what love really is, right?..

We'll see how this story goes...Review or such. I don't mind. And yes, the words that are italized are lyrics of The Fratiellis' "Whistle For The Choir" and is the title you can see.


	2. Koe Wo Kikasete

Author's Note: When I wrote the introduction, I felt like it was a drag. I hope I wrote this with well-depth and some emotion. Fast update with this story, huh? By the way, trying to work the documents out. I have Appleworks and now, I'm using google document to get the fonts better. This website is all a whirl to me.

**You know, I don't own Victorious...even though I wish to own Cat in reality though.**

**Ch. 2; Koe Wo Kikasete**

Cat and Jade arrived to Foothill Middle School for their sixth year of education and it was the beginning of what the usual was that diverged into several messes in their lives. New encounters had came upon them and the more encounters they've been friends with, the less time they had for each other. Cat had finally pour down how vibrant her soul really was to the new kids in their new school; even the ones that didn't seem to like her. She became more animated with life, popular, and was more enthusiastic. Her personality is as vibrant as her clothes were. Jade was still constant with herself but crude. The more she comes in contact with anger, she would abuse whatever is near her that she doesn't care about and/or start to become vulgar with words. Whenever Jade asks permission to visit Cat's house or take her out to the movies at school, Cat would be way too busy with other people she apparently had time for. Jade would spark a hint of envy and would stomp away to the women's restroom just to punch a new mirror the janitor would buy at least once a week since her blood would always flare out the wrath she held inside. Whenever Cat had the time for Jade, she would ask Jade if she can visit her house but Jade declines and says she's too busy with homework and other friends. Cat would pout and walk away while sorrow was the shadow she sees below her on a warm day. The less time they had for each other, the more they didn't seem to know each other at all. They would at least converse once a week by only saying, "Hi. How are you doing?"or "Oh. That's the homework? Okay, well thanks. Bye."

As they both end the telephone line, Cat secretly missed Jade's presences so much. The only moments she has cherished is the little, lifeless conversations they have on the phone and whenever they walk by each other, silently. Jade missed Cat as much as Cat does but of course, they never slipped a word about these emotions they've built up for each other. The only time they both can express what has been hidden towards each other is when they sleep. They sleep away the agony of this abandoned friendship and once a dream walks in, they both murmur each other's names and sleep talked their longing of having the time to spend with each other only. Sometimes, Cat would wake up and start to cry out for Jade whenever Cat had to deal with those nights of her parents screaming at each other and in the end, blaming Cat for everything that her parents done, not her. This is why she missed Jade; Jade was the only person who could award Cat the abundance of comfort while Cat was the same to Jade also. She knew Jade would stick up for her. She knows that. But she fears that she will bother Jade and Jade could go on a rampage of being awake. Jade sometimes couldn't have the intention of falling asleep and would sometimes wait for a phone call; specifically from one person. Cat. She would get unexpected texts and it would always not be from Cat.

They both laid down in their own beds through out the starry nights; starry nights of despair, starry nights of hunger for each other's presence. They both felt nobody was there for them. Cat couldn't consume the thought of already that she has lost Jade. Jade fails to accept the fact that Cat and her aren't as close anymore. In the weekday's mornings, Cat would often hide the bruises her father would plant on her arms and legs at school. Her father thought Cat was the most idiotic person he has met in his life and was ashamed that his wife has given birth to a "disgrace" Her grades lacked only C's and her parents had some sense that Cat has no talent after all but Cat does. She just only showed her true artistic self to Jade. Cat had the most amazing vocals that if she sang, "Come Fly With Me"by the talented, Frank Sinatra, people's eyes and ears would be captured and would be immobilized by her. Jade always considered that Cat's capability of having this gift Cat was born with was the most alluring thing Jade has ever confronted. Jade never knew what was up with the Valentine family and never would comprehend a single thought about it cause she believed that the Valentine family was a very generous family to her and Cat.

One foggy night, Jade heard shrouds of constant yelling within her household. She steps out of her bedroom and sees her mother all covered with smudged makeup and a small trail of blood coming out from her mouth. Her father's face was a very cardinal color, had scratches that seem to be from his wife's fake nails and had his fists clenched, looking as if he's willing to thrust a punch to Mrs. West's face. They both hastily looked at their daughter and her mother started to breakdown, crying.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?"cries Jade.

"Honey, your mother and I are going to have a divorce."The word, "divorce" cracked Jade's heart. She may not seem to love her parents but she did. Having a look at this though changed her admiration of her father though.

"Your father has been having an affair with some...some..WHORE!"Mrs. West exclaims.

"A whore that I dearly loved since high school! Unlike you, I have to deal with your fucking shit for not paying my damn bills and not giving me what I want!"Mr. West strictly says. Jade couldn't believe she was hearing all this. Her admiration of her father has quickly deceased as each word slips out of the West parents.

"Like what? Sex? That was all you wanted!...You used me for being a sex slave. You used me for the money to get you back on track of your job here and you made me quit my job that was the one of the best things of my life!"Mrs. West cries her eye sockets out. Jade's mother use to work with all kinds of film companies; Warner Bros, MGM Studios, Universal Studios, etc. She was even one of the best producers in the 80's till she met Jade's father. Mrs. West was the main inspiration of why Jade had hold the passion of cinematography. Jade dreamt of writing and considered being an actress also.

"And I would like to thank you for that, bitch. I'm having custody over Jade as soon as you walk out of my damn house!"Mr. West yells. Jade could feel the animosity picking through her guts and screams to her father, "YOU ARE NOT! How could you do this to her? I loved you as much as every daughter should have and now here I am, finding out that you're a sick bastard! I would much rather have my mother have custody over me!"

Mr. West gave Jade a sharp look and instantly slapped Jade's face.

"You are most definitely not!...Well you know fucking what? You don't do shit anyways cause all I've heard from your teachers and your friends'parents was that you're just like Satan's daughter!"Jade start to feel the tingle of tears starting to form in her eyes.

She doesn't back down and Mrs. West promptly runs up to her to say, "We can move out of this filthy place and move to New York."Jade without a thought agrees and the mother and daughter rapidly goes to their own bedrooms separately and locked their doors. Mr. West bangs Jade's door while she packs hastily and figured that her mother probably got out from the window as she saw her mother starting Mr. West's car. The last item she picked up was a photo of Cat and herself, putting their arms around each other and the frame of the photo saying, "I love you, best friend" A tear slips out of Jade's eyes and quickly got out of the house from the window as soon as her father breaks down Jade's door. The engine roars in the West's automobile and it wasn't as much louder as Jade's heart deteriorating every piece of itself. Even Mrs. West seemed to notice that Jade was holding the picture of Cat and Jade.

"Honey, I'm sorry...I know you love her but I think it's better for us to stay outside of this state for a while.."

_The rain just now has stopped._

_ The smell of asphalt is floating around the city._

_ Hey, over there too, the weather is fine already, right?_

_ For I heard, the weather has cleared up from the west._

It's been a month already from the horrible incident and all she could think about is Los Angeles and Cat. Mr. West hasn't contacted Jade and her mother, thank god. Jade's appearance was rather frightening than last time's; she dressed more gloomy and mysterious. Mysterious enough to reach into stranger's minds if she's a murderer. Her new school was okay but she reaches back to the time where she was an outcast again and she didn't seem to mind. She missed Cat so much and she wished to have spoken to her from that night but she knew it was right to leave the state quickly. New York gave Jade an amount of opportunities for her dream. Her mother would work around the Broadway shows and get a decent amount of money for the both of them and their apartment. She even got Jade into auditioning for some shows and Jade admired everything her mother and New York has given to her. But...it doesn't take up as much as Cat would give to Jade.

_Since you're not a morning person,_

_ Everyday, will you be able to wake properly?_

_ I'm still worried about things like that..._

Cat would usually worry about Jade everyday. She knew about how Jade doesn't know how to take care of herself health wise. She knew that Jade hated mornings and would be always late to school from insomnia so Cat would sometimes alarm her to wake up but wait, Cat realized that the fact of Jade moved away and hadn't even said a farewell to her. She could feel the agony rising up to her heart as it beats. What is she saying about waking up Jade sometimes in the mornings in case she'll be late? It's not like Jade would appreciate that and it's not like it was Cat's responsibility as her mother...

_The sky still spreads so freely,_

_ Although nothing has changed,_

_ Right now, just that...it's only just that you are not by my side._

Everyday at Foothill Middle, the skies would always be clear and crisp. Nothing has changed at Cat's school and everybody didn't seem to have the intention to notice that Jade has moved away for some odd reason to Cat that Jade didn't even say. The only thing has changed for Cat was that the person she laid her trust on, lend a hand to, and loved dearly was gone. The memories of the crude girl was still planted in Cat's brain and sometimes, whenever she walks to her next class, she refused to walk with some of her friends and would often imagine Jade walking next to her to class. The silence made Jade real but it just wasn't the same. Her mind would often drift into wondering where Jade was and what made her move. And of course, why didn't Jade say her farewells to Cat? Cat would always be greeted by wrath of this fact but it fades instantly back to sorrow.

"Cat! What did the explorers, Lewis & Clark, do?"Cat's fourth period teacher inqiured to Cat. Cat snapped back into reality and quietly responded her answer which she was incorrect. After class, Cat visited the bathroom where nobody was there to be found. She went into one of the bathroom stalls, locks it, eats her lunch all by herself and as she finishes her food, she starts to weep and say, "Jade...I miss you so much. You're the only one that could fulfill my own happiness..."

_Let me hear your voice,_

_ If we become honest, surely._

_ We'll be able to understand each other._

_ Please open your heart._

_ Let me hear your voice._

_ The path we have come is for us, surely,_

_ An important step to that future..._

Sooo...how did I do? o.O If you're wondering what, "Koe Wo Kikasete"means, it's Japanese I believe and it means, "Let me hear your voice" It's by Big Bang, a K-pop boy band. Good band. Anyways, I'm sorry this chapter has been so long...I hoped you enjoy, yeah?


	3. Edge of Desire

Author's Note: To be honest, I never knew Ariana Grande was older than Liz. Liz seems to look much older than Ariana. Haha! I thought Liz was. Anyways, this might be a slow chapter as I predict this story will be only 15 chapters. Enjoy. Oh and by the way, giving credit to lyrics of John Mayer's Edge of Desire. Good song. Loved John Mayer since birth.

**Don't own Victorious and it's characters...Whatever; I could own Ariana in a heartbeat maybe. LOL NO. I WISH.**

Ch. 3; Edge of Desire

It's 2005; The year when Jade and Cat both turned 12 years old and it was the first birthday that neither one of them greeted each other a, "Happy Birthday" Cat is a month older than Jade and I find it kind of funny how the youngest is the most mature between the both of them.

* * *

><p><em>Young and full of running,<em>

_ Tell me where is that taking me._

_ Just a great figure eight _

_ or a tiny infinity._

* * *

><p><em>June 26, 2005<em>

_Jade awoke from the tenacious East Coast weather. The sun was blazing through Jade's crimson red curtains and Jade laid there motionless, realizing that today would be a terrific day for someone she once knew. She sat up from her bed, smirking at the fact that she wasn't soaked with sweat and went to take a refreshing shower. _

_As the water runs through her skin and sprinkles down weight upon her secured eyes, she could foresaw an image of Cat and her facial expression of pure joy. Imagining Cat in moments like these felt that Cat was nearby Jade but only outside of Jade's bathroom door, speaking loudly to Jade just about anything that comes into her mind. If Cat was at Jade's place, she could keep chattering about peculiar topics like her older brother, Frankie, or how she thought the character costumes that some of the Disneyland Theme Park employees wore from Disneyland were real; she even tackled down the person who dressed up as Ariel from The Little Mermaid that Disneyland almost kicked the Valentine family out of the theme park. Jade chuckled at that memory of Cat explaining her first experience at Disneyland and then snapped back into reality as Jade's mother knocked on her bathroom door, "Jade honey! You've been in the shower for thirty minutes! I need to shower for work, hurry up please!" Jade didn't realize the reminiscing took over the shower for that amount of time. _

_It was summer and Jade had no people that she's been acquainted with and she wanted to have a break from Broadway shows for this month so she might as well put her time in waste by cherishing the times of when her and Cat were close. It was New York she was living in and she, just like other people in the world, had 86,400 seconds to use to do whatever she pleases. She decides that since it was Cat's birthday, she was going to dedicate her day to Cat even though Cat would probably never knew she was going to..._

* * *

><p>"<em>Cat! Kitty Cat!"Frankie charges to Cat's bedroom and collides his body onto Cat's.<em>

"_Mmmmfff..."Cat groans. She had another restless night from the cause of the Valentine parent's fights from last night. _

"_Do you not know what day it is? Do you not?"Frankie screams. She sensed he was having a mental breakdown so Cat sat up and said quietly, "What day is it...?"_

"_...It's your birthday! Happy birthday little sis!" Frankie gave his little sister a grizzly bear hug while Cat's body got a jerk from this unexpected news. Cat hasn't kept track of her birthday. She use to until Jade's unreasonable departure hit her. Cat would use to call her birthday, "Valentine's Day" and she would always think that she has two birthdays in a year because February had Valentine's Day itself for mushy couples but this year was different. Jade would usually be the first person to wake up Cat whenever it's her birthday and smack her back to say, "Get up! It's your birthday!" like she was forced to do it but she knew Jade was always willing to do something for her special occasion; just didn't admit it to herself and Cat. _

"_...I don't feel like celebrating my birthday, Frankie. Tell mommy and daddy that I'm going to stay in bed all day today...and don't let Andre and Robbie come in..." Andre and Robbie were Cat's only close friends she made but not as much close to Jade and her was. Andre was a musician and Robbie...just a silly guy that might have some issues with his self-esteem since he always bring that mindless puppet, Rex._

"_No! Get up! Let's go to Disneyland! Mommy already set up a birthday party reservation over there!"Cat's eyes lit up and without a thought, agreed to celebrate. _

"_First birthday without you, Jade.."Cat thinks to herself as Frankie sprinted away..._

* * *

><p><em>Jade was strolling around New York City till she found Build-A-Bear workshop. It was Cat's favorite store and despite that she'll feel a bit of secondhand embarrassment, she wanted to dedicate her day to Cat and wanted to pretend that Cat was with her as the day takes it's course. She heavily sighed and went inside to see a mass of the plague of pestering children. "Only for you, Cat...Only for you..."she mumbles to herself angrily as she picks a Cat plush doll animal without the contained cotton and head to the stuffing area. "After this shit, maybe I could go to that disgusting Hello Kitty store across the street to buy some strawberry flavored lollipops..."She thinks to herself. Cat always loved strawberries and was her favorite fruit.<em>

* * *

><p><em>So young and full of running,<em>

_ All the way to the edge of desire._

_ Steady my breathing,_

_ Silently screaming,_

_ I have to have you now._

* * *

><p><em>July 26, 2005<em>

_Cat awoke from Frankie's wails from this video game he's been losing from and trying to defeat for the past weeks. She didn't happen to realize that she slept all day today due to the sleeping pills finally kicking her to sleep at 6 in the morning. The alarm clock showed it was 7pm and checked her cell phone to see if she hasn't slept in more than a few days. As soon as she saw the date of today, her eyes cast fire as she grasped the matter of what today really is. _

"_Jade's birthday..."she whispered. She shrieked as the door was knocked and out came Mr. Valentine._

"_You've been sleeping all day. Your mother and I are going to go out for dinner. Take care of Frankie and remember to give him the pills in thirty minutes. We already gave him one today; your turn to."says Mr. Valentine, strictly. _

_Cat nodded and laid in bed till the Valentine parents were gone. Thirty minutes has passed, she gave Frankie one pill and informed him that she's going to go out to have some air. Frankie understood and said he'll call her if he needed anything if he can only find his phone. Probably up in the air vent from the time he said that he wondered what living in an air vent would be like. The result of that was failure and he came crashing down to the dining table with no serious injuries, shockingly. _

_Cat went outside to the humid air and walked to a place that she hasn't been in for years. It's the tree house Jade and Cat made from third grade with their own bare hands. There was a swing right next to it as it was installed on a tree branch. She couldn't possibly climb up to the tree house since it was on the verge of breaking. They both left it that this was their own land and since it was all ancient looking and looked as if it's going to collapse any moment now, she only went on the swing. The crickets were chirping and Cat started to talking to herself as if Jade was there._

"_So...Happy birthday, Jade!"She beamed. Only the crickets responded._

"_...I wish you can hear this...where ever you are...but I miss you. I have to say that my birthday from before wasn't really great without you. Sure, I went to Disneyland and you should be thankful that this time, I didn't tackle down Ariel like last time but really...I miss your smile and your rude remarks you would make to the people you hate. I miss your laugh and your nice chocolate hair! Everything! …...Uhmm...and especially, I love you. I love who you are, Jade. I love your bravery. I love your how caring you were to me. I love how loving you were even if you didn't show it; I felt that you did! I love you..."Cat starts to feel the tears and a screech coming from her throat. She sobbed and sobbed till she couldn't sob any more. _

"_Where are you? I needed you! Everything about my life is so lifeless without you! I don't feel any love anymore! My parents never has! You were the only one who did! You're my best friend, right?...Where are you?", she wails quietly. Sometimes, Cat has the anxiety of Jade forgetting all about Cat. She creates random scenrios of where Jade is at and what she's doing. Then later, she assumes all of the negative and blames herself for not being such a friend to Jade...not being loving to Jade._

* * *

><p><em>I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believe.<em>

_ There I just said it; I'm scared you'll forget about me. _

* * *

><p><em>Jade awoke and she already knew it was her birthday. She didn't seem to strain to anybody that she needed a present. Only Cat and Jade's mother. Cat would usually give Jade red velvet cupcakes, a animal plush doll per birthday, and kiss her on the cheek. A kiss on the cheek was something Jade loved the most. Jade rubbed her cheek to try to regain the warmth of Cat's lips on her cheek.<em>

"_Whoa...wait..."Jade said to herself. _

"_Is it wrong to feel a bit of some sensation when I think about Cat's lips..."she fidgets with her fingers and just shook the thought. _

"_Hey Honey. Happy birthday!"Jade's mother exclaimed as she went inside Jade's room and gave Jade her present._

"_Better be that new toolkit or drill that Home Depot was selling for sale a few weeks ago."Jade said coldly. Jade's mother rolled her eyes and gave Jade a peck on the forehead. Jade tears the gift wrapping and figured that it was only new clothes to wear. She's thankful that it wouldn't be like what Cat dresses up like. Nothing vibrant; just dark. As Jade's mother sets the candles onto the Red Velvet cake, Jade got three plates; one for herself, one for her mother, and one...supposedly for Cat. Jade's mother set the cake on the table and sang, Happy Birthday, and as she ended, she said, "Make a wish!" Jade focused on the candles and then, closed her eyes._

"_I wish someday, whatever my passion for cinematography leads me into, that Cat would be in it..."Jade then blew the candles. Jade's mother applauded and cut the cake. She sliced only two till she glanced over at the third plate. She sighed and sliced another slice_

"_Red Velvet was Cat's favorite cupcake/cake flavor, right?" she said. Jade nodded slowly and they both ate as silence takes over them. For the rest of the day, they went around New York to shop and met with some of Jade's other relatives. As the night kicks in, Jade massages her temples as she felt the drowsyness coming. She thinks about how Cat would probably make her birthday better as it was. She turned over at the side of the bed and stared at the picture of Cat and herself. _

* * *

><p><em>Don't say a word. <em>

_Just come over and lie here with me._

_Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see._

"_Love you..."and her eyelids start to drop down ever so slowly. _

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><p>Man, have you guys ever had the anxiety exactly like Cat does in this chapter? You miss someone so much but you're much afraid to know what's on their mind and lives now. The person could forget about you, or do something hurtful behind your back, or has changed their perspective on you, etc. Your anxiety leads to over analyzing and then assume everything that has a negative effect. I hate anxiety. It kills every inch of me. Sometimes, I wish humans doesn't have the ability to feel this horrible emotion. You and anxiety causes so much trouble for yourself and others. Blah. Anyways, review if you like.<p> 


	4. Way You Looked That Night Looked Loverly

Author's note; WARNING: Rated M elements in one paragraph and a bit of two. Hopefully the folks who could handle that rating could handle it. Probably; possibly. I will be updating a lot over thanksgiving break. I apologized that I couldn't yesterday since I was tired and only typed several paragraphs late at night. I almost fell asleep on my keyboard. Woops. The next update I can predict maybe on thursday? Possibly tomorrow but you shall see. Give credits to My Fair Lady and Frank Sinatra. Love them both! Have you guys ever seen the broadway version or movie version? I like Audrey Hepburn's version of it! Frank Sinatra is one of the greatest men in the Jazz/Showtunes music field.

**Don't own Victorious and it's characters...smhhhhhh.**

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><p>Ch. 4; The Way You Looked That Night Looked Very Loverly<p>

_IT'S RATHER DULL IN TOWN! I THINK I'LL TAKE ME TO PAREE! _

_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!_

_THE MISTRESS WANTS TO OPEN UP, THE CASTLE IN CAPRI!_

_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!_

_ME DOCTOR RECOMMENDS A QUIET SUMMER BY THE SEA!_

_MMMMM, MMMM, WOULDN'T IT BE LOVERLY?_

The dull shaded buildings throughout the stage vanished in thin air as the symphony rises and the spotlight brightens where Jade was. She was surrounded by a crowd of filthy peasants who were her cast members of this Broadway Production she was in. Her smile out shined the spotlight as it follows her every movement and sang in a Cockney accent that she had to speak with for more than an hour for the show she starred in as the main character of the tremendous Broadway musical, "My Fair Lady" Of course she never had a problem nor difficulty of speaking in an accent other than an American's. She was professional with speaking of variety of accents in the world.

_All I want is a room somewhere! _

_Far away from the cold night air!_

_With one enormous chair,_

_AOOWWWW, wouldn't it be loverly?_

Jade was dressed up in long rags and a murky, black bonnet she had to wear and was holding a casket of flowers and a few change that the character who was a phoneticist and companion of Jade's character threw in distractingly. Jade's character had a difficult time with herself as the character itself was underclassmen at the time period that the Broadway musical took place. Her character and the character's friends (who were also underclass) pondered at the thought of what would life be like to be able to live in a adequate, proper life as a upperclassman by harmonizing their desires.

_Lot's of Choc'lates for me to eat! _

_Lot's of coal makin'lots of 'eat!_

_Warm face, warm hands, warm feet!_

_AOWWWW, wouldn't it be loverly?_

Through out the belting of Jade's character, the audience were beyond astound and Jade's mother showed a Cheshire smile and was always after every result of Jade's remarkable performances, beyond pleased and was proud enough to say that Jade is her daughter.

_AOOWWW, so loverly sittin'abso-bloomin'lutely still!_

_I would never budge till spring!_

_Crept over me windowsill!_

_Someone 'ead restin'on my knee!_

_Warm and tender as 'e can be 'ho takes good care of me,_

_AOOOWWW, wouldn't it be loverly? _

_Loverly...loverly...loverly..._

After the numerous amount of repetition with the verses, the light faded and went on through the next scene of the first Act of the Broadway musical. As the character develops through out the musical and starts to get rid of her cockney accent, Jade's appearance becomes dazzled and some of the audience who were only at their teenage years were stunned. The teenagers who were boys start to create loud snickers and at some scenes, Jade could apprehend what were their profane remarks were and was willing to get out of character to curse out threats towards them. But she doesn't want to screw anything up for the sake of this production.

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><p><em>2 hours and 45 minutes later;<em>

Jade was feeling very hoarse and felt ticked off because the vulgar the teenagers were creating for her to listen in through out the performances. They were only there, pinching her nerves for 2 hours and left at the last several scenes.

"Jade, dear? Are you okay?"Jade's mother quietly said as she felt fear singeing her bones since Jade is awfully frightening when she gets utterly upset.

"I don't want to discuss this, Mom. I'll be fine...it's whatever."Jade lied. Jade's mother slowly beckons with an "okay"signal and walks away to congratulate the other cast members who did a remarkable job. Jade went outside to the back of the theater and took a breather. Maybe the humid of New York's nights would loosen her knots planted within her back. As she puts places her foot on the wall behind her, lets loose her other leg, and crosses her arms, she hears the familiar snickers from tonight's performance. She clenches her teeth as she sees the same teenagers from the audience. Unfortunately, they had numerous bottles of vodka and gin and some other alcohol beverages that were still secured in boxes.

"HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY IT'S THAT GIRLLL..."One of the teenagers slurred their words and with each footstep he places on the ground, Jade starts to clench her fists.

"Hahaaaaaaaa. Shiiiiiiiiiit, she looked veerrrrrrrrry mightyyyyy fine, tonight, huh boyzzzzz?"A boy with his hair being fussy, slurred. A gang of them started to reform and Jade glanced at each one of the drunk teenagers. She couldn't yelp for help since nobody besides the gang and Jade herself were the only ones at the back parking lot. One of the boys brushes up next to her and Jade pitched out some flared airs. She kicked him as hard as her strength provides for her and the boy was left moaning in agony, weeping to himself and rolling around on the concrete.

"Boysss, fuckinggg handle this fucking bitchh now!"All of the gang members grasped every body part of Jade and Jade couldn't manage to get ahold of her strength anymore. All of the things she needed in situations like these were vanished since each member pinned it down to the wall. Jade couldn't even scream since one person covered her mouth as he touches her neck and starts to nip on her neck. They all heard her muffling and the boy who covered her mouth with his mighty hand started to let his grasp go and punches her across the face with this compacted affliction that Jade saw crimson fireworks sprouting out of her nose and mouth. She felt the trickling of the blood and felt as if she was staggering to them but only her mind was. The intense compact made her feel like her brain flew out of her head. In the unconscious state, the boys threw a wave of joy symphonies of their uncontrollable yet slurred laughs. From the head and face, Jade leaked out a pool of blood and was still unconscious till one of the gang members yanked her hair to get up. They pinned her to the wall again and started to loosen their belts and buttons. Her teeth was painted in blood, nails ripples a few of her skin apart, and not only did her makeup's smear create darkness in her eyes and pupils but the amount of fists planted on her face made the the looks of it more violet. Jade couldn't manage to wave out the screeches that her throat wanted to pitch that instead, bruises started form on her pale legs and with each sound she tries to pitch out, some amount of gore finds another passage of Jade to flow out...

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><p>Cat was all home alone. Her parents and her brother went to go to this festival that opened called the Walnut Festival. Not about Walnuts...just...charity for the city. She flicks through the channels of her living room's television until one channel caught her eye. MTV was giving honor to Jazz and Showtunes music. To know Cat so dearly well, one of Cat's most favorite music genres of all time would be Jazz and Showtunes. Frank Sinatra was one of her favorite male singers of the 40's and so on. They were showings of Frank Sinatra and his well-known work on the Tv screen and Cat was snapping to the beat of the music, to the saxophone's blazed tune, swaying to the Jazzy vocals that they were playing as MTV explained the tribute to Frank Sinatra. All of a sudden, a familiar tune seeps in Cat's ears and she jerked up to dance around all by herself. She starts to realize this was one of Jade's and Cat's favorite songs they would sing when they were at the age of 10. She starts to vocalize the whole song's lyrics and positioned herself in Waltz position. Imagining Jade's right arm snaking right up to her sides and could hear Jade's laugh as Cat places her hand on Jade's shoulder and Cat's left hand placing on Jade's right hand which was only the atmosphere that could fill Cat's ignited memory...<p>

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><p><em>Flashback;<em>

_ Someday, when I'm awfully low..._

_ When the world is cold,_

_ I will feel a glow just thinking of you..._

_ And the way you look tonight._

_The saxophones beamed and lit up Cat's heart and eyes. The vibrations of the simplicity the beats created made Cat sway in touch with the rhythm. She starts to dance with the rhythm and Jade was sitting down, cutting the flowers Mrs. Valentine grew in the backyard with Frankie's scissors she found in his room. The boy had so many peculiar objects and this has to be one of the best discoveries Jade found in his room. Cat giggled as she twirls and jumps while clashing her hands together as the music crawls it's way through her bones. _

"_Jadey! Please get up and dance!"Cat exclaimed. Jade's eyes rolled, threw the flowers down to the ground and crossed her arms, ignoring Cat's hyperactive moment and persuasion. Cat starts to strut where Jade was and kept poking Jade's knees and shoulders._

"_CAT! What if I'm really not in the mood to dance with you?"Jade yells. _

"_Whyyyyyyyyy? Please Jadey! It's going to be so much fun! You're always so hard-headed!... Comeee onnn...pweezzzzz?"Cat pleaded to Jade while Jade gave Cat a sharp, cold look when Cat called Jade, "Hard-headed" Cat poked Jade's sides and Jade whined,_

"_WHYYYYYY? Cat! This song is silly!.."Cat pouted then slowly backed away to turn off the CD player. Jade sensed that she hurt Cat's feelings and she didn't happen to realize that this was one of her favorite showtunes songs. Of course, even Cat's favorite. Oxygen escaped from Jade's lips and she debated to just neglect Cat and focus on finding more things in Frankie's room or be generous enough to turn the CD player back on and waltz away with Cat. Jade furrowed her brows as she focuses on the negative side of her decision to go to Frankie's but couldn't help to feel bad when she saw in the corner of her eyes that Cat was frowning while she consumes what dinner was. Dancing with her best friend meant so much to Cat and Cat didn't expect Jade to scold her off with her words and one of their favorite songs. Jade got up to the CD player, press play, and the music starts blazing it's melody..._

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><p><em>Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm.<em>

_And your cheeks so soft._

_There is nothing for me but to love you,_

_And the way you look tonight..._

_Jade crept onto Cat and took a light grasp on Cat's hand. Startled, Cat slowly motioned with Jade as Jade showed a glow on her face to assure Cat that she apologizes and enjoyment is the atmosphere of the room. Cat beams with delight as she felt the warmth Jade's smile created. The bass was controlling their bodies as well as the drums were in it's constant rhythm. As one slips a mistaken step on the other's foot, they were in harmony of their laughs and still kept continuing to cavort to the melodies as Jade embraces Cat's fragile body. Not only were they dancing of their hearts content but vocalized all the lyrics Mr. Sinatra sung. Jade mostly hummed and Cat was blasting her vocal cords away which blew Jade._

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><p><em>With each word, your tenderness grows,<em>

_Tearing my fear apart..._

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,_

_It touches my foolish heart..._

_As the words that were matched along with the melody was sung, the two friends both felt confidently secured with one another as they both twirl and embrace. Together, the world was perfection as the room spins Cat and Jade around. The fears would all disappear. No distractions. Security was rested in each other between the two. The warmth tingles through their hearts. The two danced through the starry night until their limbs were tired a few hours before the sun reached it's peak. _

* * *

><p><em>Lovely...Never, ever change.<em>

_Keep that breathless charm._

_Won't you please arrange it?_

_Cause I love you...Just the way you look tonight..._

Could it be the fear or dominant power of change getting in their way? They were so young and naive; they never knew what Change would do to them until everything tumbles down. They didn't know change was an existing monster that could take any sides. Could create a horrible direction and take that path unless you're lucky with Change; you continue onto the healthy path. I've heard that most of the time, there will be always a pro and cons of Change. But with Jade's and Cat's situation, it seems to me that such horrible events would occur for only them...

* * *

><p>...The gang left a fragile Jade behind as the wetness of the blood borders her body. Jade tried to motion her body up but her body didn't let her as the thousands of thrusts of eternal pain from before came right at her. She tosses herself over and thought she foresaw movements as her eyelids slowly flutters down and then quickly, numerous of blurred lights that scorched her eyes...<p>

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><p>To be utterly honest, I was cringing as I was typing Jade's gang-rape scene cause I had to imagine what would it be like...For the next chapter, I won't make it disgusting but...I might break that promise; I am not sure. There will be rated M elements within this story and I will warn you in case at the beginning of the chapters. Well, review if you like!<p> 


	5. Run

Author's Note: So a few things to say; it's a slow chapter again I think. I know some people wants some action; well here you go. The best I could conclude. I have plans for this story and there might be a sequel for this story. I spilled the beans just now, lol. This is probably the longest chapter yet. Last thing, giving credit to Run by Epik High for lyrics.

**Don't own Victorious...but I owned Ariana/Cat's number for a few hours till she probably changed it.**

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><p>Ch. 5; Run<p>

_It's pitch dark._

_The world moves on too fast._

_I'm the only one who's limping on both legs._

_The path I must walk is endless._

_What's at the end of this path?_

_Are you going there knowing about it?_

_Will I learn the answers if I go there with my eyes closed?_

_The sky that never responds to a such question._

_The two arms tied up by a daily life is too heavy to embrace dreams._

_I'm scared, I've been abandoned locked away._

Everything was pitch black for Jade. No sound. No light. Just pitch black. She tries to scream. Again, no sound pitching out. Is she opening her eyes or is her eyes closed? She tries to motion. Nothing is caused by it. Everything is empty.

_What's going on? _Jade thought to herself. She feels her arms swaying but she couldn't see her arms.

_I'm dreaming. _Jade tries to motion again. Everything is still pitch black. Her body tells her to weep so she tries to; nothing happens. Not even a tear could she feel upon her face. She feels so hollowed out. She can't feel her heart beating as she tries to see if she could put her palm on her chest.

_What's going on?...What's going on? What's going on?... _Jade's thoughts start to echo through the pitch darkness. Everything starts to lighten. Blurry motions starts to appear and Jade is still left confused. She could feel her eyes opening ever so slowly. The blurry images start to clear up as her eyes arises.

_Everything keeps going too...quickly...STOP... _Her thoughts spoke to herself. As her eyes finally finished trying to expose itself, she saw her mother, weeping. On the other side were flowers from her cast mates back at the broadway production. Only her mother was there with her when the sun escalates down and the moon escalates up and vice versa. Jade was covered in a mouthpiece; absorbing all the oxygen in the tube that flows into her mouth. Her eyes were covered with bruises and her nose was scratched up. She takes a glance at her arms again and then takes another glance except longer; her arms had deep gashes with such chromatic colors that were bordering the injuries. Her eyes drifted straight down to her feet; all her toes had internal bleeding within them. Her eyes then drifted to her mother's face; full with tears and had such swollen eye sockets.

"Honey! You're alive! You're here!"The weeps turn into wails. She starts to crawl up on Jade's patient bedding and rubs her arms.

"What happened...why...why could they do such a thing..."She trembles as she starts to recall in her mind of when she found her daughter's blood surrounding her daughter. Jade couldn't speak as the mouthpiece was preferably stuck in her mouth. She groans and her mother starts to whimper.

"..Please be strong, sweetie...You've lost an huge amount of blood and I assume you feel so drowsy and unconscious from the painkillers. You see that bag of blood up top? We're still inserting some blood inside you, dear. Just hang on..."Her mother's voice starts to crack. Jade's been at the hospital for a week and her school orientation yet starts in a few weeks. Thinking about this made Jade want to stay in the hospital forever. Another thought reaches into another. They start to formulate about Cat. Anxiety crawls into her Jade's skin all of a sudden. If Cat saw this, what would she say? Then anger struck a lightning as more thoughts converse with itself. She doesn't connect with Jade even before all of this. Then she starts to think of her dear mother. Her thoughts were becoming Gremlins, pinching her brain's nerves.

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><p><em>Why the fuck wasn't she there for me? <em>Jade angrily thinks to herself. More complex thoughts run straight to Jade's mind. Everything was such nonsense. She starts to let wrath become her master. Her mind was having a tantrum and the more it dramatizes, the more Jade is left with Wrath that isn't even necessary and understandable. Wrath, Anxiety, and Jade converse and it leaves Jade assuming all the lies were the truth. Wrath speaks to her with lies...

_She FORGOT ALL ABOUT ME! SHE LEFT ME! IF CAT CARED ABOUT ME, SHE WOULD BE HERE WITH ME. RIGHT NOW. RIGHT FUCKING NOW. FUCK YOU, CAT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! _Jade's thoughts screamed.

_What are you talking about Jade? __**You left her without a reason, without saying goodbye. **_It seems that this thought was sent by God. Jade never said anything about religion and one of her deep dark secrets was that she actually believed in Jesus and God. At night, she prays as she clasps her hands for her prayers to be answered and to happen. Unfortunately, her prayers never seem to just happen for her.

_NO! SHE DESERVED TO BE LEFT. SHE DONATES HER TIME WITH SOME OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW THE REAL HER. THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING WE'VE DONE TOGETHER. THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT HER AND I HAD!, _"Had"struck Jade's heart.

_I'M ACTUALLY ALONE. FUCK. I'M ALL ALONE. NOT EVEN MY MOTHER HAS FILLED UP MY HEART. CAT. FORGET CAT. NO. NOTHING IS SWELL. NO GOD. OH GOD. _She feels as if her beliefs has been wasted. She starts to boil the blood within her.

_MY FATHER HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WORTHY. ONE OF MY ROLE MODELS HAS TURNED THEIR BACK ON ME. LIED STRAIGHT THROUGH HIS TEETH FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. NEVER CALLS ME. DOESN'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO CHECK IF I'M OKAY WHERE EVER I AM. NOT EVEN CAT. FUCK YOU ALL. FUCK MY LIFE. WHAT IS THIS LIFE I'M LIVING IN? EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP FOR ME. I FEEL LIKE IN SHACKLES BY REALITY AND I'M ONLY STAYING HERE BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER. WHAT DOES SHE DO... _Jade could feel the clench in her fists. She starts to take out the needle out from her bruised arm and immediately pull out her mouthpiece. Her mother was awoken by Jade letting another whole new version of herself controlling her. Loathe, Wrath, Selfishness was becoming a character for her.

"GET OFF MOTHER! GET OFF! YOU...YOU SHOULD OF BEEN THERE FOR ME. WHERE WERE YOU?...OH YOU JUST HAPPEN TO GO TO PHIL AND THE OTHER BOYS TO CONGRATULATE THEM? DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WAS LYING? WHY DID YOU GIVE UP WHEN YOU KNEW, OH I KNOW YOU KNEW, THAT I WAS LYING? I WOULDN'T HAVE ENDED UP BEING IN THIS DAMN SICKENING PLACE! I'M FUCKING BROKEN. HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING NOTICED FOR HOW MANY MONTHS? HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING NOTICED! FUCK YOU AND DAD. WHY WAS I EVEN BORN? WHY WAS I BORN FROM A CHEATER? I DON'T WANT TO BE A DAUGHTER WHO'S FATHER CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH SOME WHORE. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT DAUGHTER. WHY DID YOU MEET HIM..WHY..."Jade kept screaming that the whole medical field could hear Jade. Her voice was hoarse but she wasn't weak. It croaked in some of her sentences but she doesn't care.

"I'm so sorry honey! Please! Stop! I love you! I know you wouldn't say that...I admit I know you were lying-"Jade was close to slapping her mother. She wanted to run. She wanted to run away. At the moment, she could vision her world and the dark hues covering it. Life was nothing to her. She needed to leave. Forget about everything that has happened.

"DO I GIVE A SHIT? NO! I WANT TO RUN. I WANT TO LEAVE. I'M LEAVING. I HAVE TO LEAVE THIS WORLD. I HAVE TO GO. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'LL RUN INTO BUT I HAVE TO FUCKING GO, MOM! I LOVE YOU BUT I HAVE TO FUCKING GO...I'M TIRED OF WALKING ON THIS PATH OF LIFE...I CAN'T ANYMORE"Jade starts to sprint out the door. And as she ran out of the door,

"I HAVE TO FORGET ABOUT YOU CATERINA! STOP CROSSING MY MIND!"She hasn't forgotten the hint of spark whenever she says Cat's name. Heck, what is she saying about forgetting all about the girl? She'll **never **forget about her. But right now, Jade wasn't thinking too clear. She's letting another crude person of herself take over her mind and body. So she keeps running; not even halting at the fact she was tired within her heaved breaths but then she starts to limp as she noticed the bruises start to numb her legs. She was already outside of the hospital, not even looking back or having the care if someone was chasing her down. She had to keep limping away to a possible end of everything. The old Jade was so afraid of what she was doing right now but this new Jade was pushing that aside. With all these horrid characteristics taking over her, she just keeps limping quickly.

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><p><em>Run till you can touch the sky with your hands.<em>

_Run till your heart is filled with your dreams._

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><p>"SHUT UP...SHUT UP...I'M GOING TO KEEP GETTING AWAY. I CAN'T ANYMORE. I'VE BEEN ABANDONED. NO NOT MY MOTHER...FUCKING CAT. EVEN BEFORE, SHE WOULD ALWAYS. EVEN BEFORE, MY FATHER HAS ALWAYS SINCE I'VE NOTICED NOW THOSE NIGHTS WHERE HE COMES HOME LATE WITH THE AROMA OF CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL..."Jade heaves out the words to herself as she tries to keep going. Her words were pitched but she kept as she pants her way out of everything.<p>

As the seconds ticks by, she starts to feel weary. Not emotionally weary since she always has in New York but physically. She starts to slowly limp as her feet were feeling the rocky road concrete. She halts as she tries to gasp the atmosphere she was in. The heat was prickling against her body. Thoughts start to formulate as she places her palms on her knees. Everything was a blur for Jade and she recollected herself. She starts to reach her thoughts again to see what they were saying. Now, everything was different and clear as her thoughts spoke calmly to her. Before, it was screaming.

"...This was a bad idea...NO. Wait...fuck it was. What's going on with me?...I feel a demon within me...maybe I am evil...What have I done...I should be positive about life...I can't waste it...I just can't..."She speaks to herself. And as soon as she stood up and to limp out of the road, a taxi cab swirls into Jade's direction and another car starts to run up towards the side of Jade. She clasps her hands on her face and everything just happened all in a flash...

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><p><em>Oh...maybe this is really the end of the line for me...<em>

_My life is a rainy night that rains 365 days._

_Heart that gets smaller in every 24 hours._

_I even hid the small comma and it's tail,_

_Then the future that awaits me becomes a period..._

_But carry the new day on your shoulder and run._

_What am I running towards?_

_Whether if the sun's setting or if I'm loosing..._

_I don't know._

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><p>"AS OF NOW, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET YOUR BROTHER GO WANDERING OUT IN THE WOODS AT NIGHT! WHO COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED? FRANKIE! WHAT IF THE MOUNTAIN LIONS WERE OUT AT NIGHT AND TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO PREY ON? OR A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE? ANYTHING DANGEROUS CAN HAPPEN ESPECIALLY STROLLING AROUND THE WOODS AT THE DAMN NIGHT! YOU'RE AT FAULT HERE CATERINA. AT FAULT!"Mr. Valentine scolded Cat during the ride back home from the Valentine's last summer vacation from camping before school starting in the next few weeks. Cat bit on her lips hard till the blood came out of the cracks from her dried lips. She was wearing an oversize Foothill Middle sweatshirt and some sweats while her brother was playing with his gameboy, quietly. The siblings were at the back seat while the parents were in the front. Mrs. Valentine shook her head multiple times when Cat doesn't respond to any of Mr. Valentine's scolding. You see with Cat, when it comes to being pushed around or seeing someone else being pushed around, she can't stand up for herself andor them. Sure; her confidence can lit up at times but once she is knocked out by being at fault or anything really, she can't possibly say a word to defend herself or others. That was Jade's job but...she isn't here with Cat. So Cat just sits still and takes all the twisted words in. She embraces her legs as Mr. Valentine complains about the issue back at the camp. What REALLY happened was that Mr. Valentine and Mrs. Valentine were fighting over something irrelevant (probably) that night while Cat was sound asleep in her tent. Frankie was beside them, roasting the marshmellows to make some smores with graham crackers. With the constant fight going on with the Valentine parents, Frankie's attention span went directly to a toad that was hopping around the log that was laid across from Frankie's seating. Frankie tossed his marshmellow away then skipped off to catch the Toad that was hopping away from the Valentine's tents. The Valentine parents didn't seem to notice an hour later that Frankie has gone missing and quickly went with their blames on Cat as they shrieked out. They wake Cat up to find Frankie since it was "her"being at fault and later, found Frankie in someone else's camp area. After that event, they used their anger on Cat and went home earlier than expected to home.

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, CATERINA VALENTINE? ARE YOU LISTENING?"cries Mr. Valentine. They finally made it back to Los Angeles and it was such a striking surprise that it was raining. Los Angeles in the summer...raining hard. Cat was startled by her father as he gripped on her biceps and with that, her father smacks Cat across the face with his enormous palms. Her eyes were stinging as the agony pricked through her cheek. A blush starts to appear on where the slap was planted on. Cat tried to pull it together but she couldn't and so she starts to let the tears drip down her face.

"DON'T BE SUCH A CHILD! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING TO ME AND THAT IS WHAT YOU GET. DADDY DEAREST GAVE YOU ANOTHER LESSON IN LIFE! HOW CAN YOU NOT LISTEN?"Mr. Valentine cries out. The raindrops were pelting on the Valentine's car windows and three pairs of eyes were staring hard directly to Cat.

"..Sis...say something please? Are you okay...you look sick..."Frankie quietly whispers. The shower of the raindrops were music in her ears and it led her to a thought that she should run out of the car to a destination that's far away from this place she was in. It felt to Cat that the rain was speaking to her, telling her to leave immediately as she will face with more unnecessary consequences. Another thing she's been conceiving at the moment was that she couldn't speak up for herself; her heart was shriveling as she tries to find the words to prove her father and herself she was strong. But the more her heart caves in deeper and was more hidden inside of her, she would tremble and couldn't find the words yet again.

"ANSWER ME CHILD!"Mr. Valentine was ready to get more abusive with Cat.

"I'm sorry."Cat whispered. The soul within her was disappointed in Cat as she took the blame yet again. She just wants to save herself even though it was in such a wrong way of doing that for herself.

"..No you are not!"Mrs. Valentine said. Cat's face stiffens as now, she doesn't know what else to do. The rain was still pouring it's music out to the earth while the parents were suspecting more from Cat. Cat had a considerable option to just sprint out of the car and not ever coming back.

_What am I doing here...my parents don't even care about me. They always rest their blames on me and my big brother is nothing but trouble! _Cat thinks to herself.

_That's it. I should end this by just leaving. I could just uhm...go over to Andre's house!...I know things would get really peculiar at Robbie's house since I've heard he's having a little crush on me...Andre's grandmother is sweet and she makes the best apple pie ever! I could live with Andre!... _Cat tries to ignition a plan. Oh the plan would be excellent and can work according to Cat! But her mind drives into Jade.

_If Jade was here, she would of stood up for me and start screaming at my parents. If only she knew...if only she was here...Why did she have to leave? Where did she go?...I don't know what to do!...Shoot. I can't think. THINK CAT THINK...What would Jade do? _Cat starts to try to be in Jade's shoes. Tried to act as Jade and see if this could work.

"Well I am right!...err f-f-fuck! I'm always being blamed on, Mom and Dad! You guys always deal with your own fu-fucking problems but what about Frankie's problems? You're his er f-f-fucking parents for christ sakes! Inconsiderate parents who fights about small things that doesn't matter! What about my problems? You give me medications I don't even freaking need! Bi-polar meds? Really? I should at least get some help about my depression! I don't even have any mood swings? Have you ever f-f-ucking thought about my depression? I have horrid nights about just thinking about suicide and here you two are, fuck...fucking fighting over who's turn to take out the trash or who's turn to pay the damn bills! You don't check on me. You never freaking did! You are no help! You just make Frankie and I worse! You guys...you guys...are shit!"Cat screams. Everybody within the Valentine family were wide-eyed. Cat's first time ever cussing. It tasted like venom in Cat's mouth.

"You know! If Jade was here, she would of cussed you guys out like that...she would of stand up for me...she would of done anything to protect me. But you know what sucks?"Cat's voice starts to crack.

"She's gone...I don't know where but I wish I would know. I miss her so much...my best friend...I loved her very much! The only person I've ever laid my trust on and expressed who I really was!"Cat starts to weep.

"..Well. It must have been best between the two of you. Probably left you cause you were shit!"Cat's father assured. Cat started to heat up and laid her fist onto her father's face.

"I'm so tired of everything! I wish my parents were fucking better than this. I wish I was freaking adopted! I can't...I can't take it anymore! Jade, I can't take it anymore!"Before Mr. Valentine was going to quickly grasp Cat's hair, Cat sprinted out of the car. The rain soaked her hair and you couldn't tell if she was crying as the droplets of the rain plunged on her face. The child was quick on her feet and tried to push away the thoughts of Jade; the thoughts, the anxiety of what was Jade's reasons of her departure and why they weren't so close before she disappeared.

* * *

><p><em>But I go.<em>

_Keep on runnin' runnin' runnin' high._

_I'm the young star that has been abandoned by the galaxy._

* * *

><p>Cat was the stars above the sky, through the restless nights and whenever the stars needed to shine, Jade was held up upon. She would spread herself over Cat and leave Cat with so much space of protection as Jade was her only galaxy. Her only protection. Cat never rests her legs and had a deep fear of her father trying to sprint up to his daughter. Her heavily breaths were pumping herself out and the rain collapses onto the child and the concrete. No signs of headlights behind or in front of this broken child. Her feet and legs keep motioning without a halt. She can't come back. She just can't. Ever since Jade left, Cat had no comfort. No destination besides Andre's house. If Jade was only here, she would sneak in to Jade's bedroom and try to wake Jade up for some warmth and comfort. Home wasn't home at the Valentine's. Home was with Jade. Where ever she was, that was home for Cat. Home must be a long way from where Cat was. As Cat concieves this, Cat breaks down on her knees and starts to weep her longing out for the home she needs.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Everybody run, run, run away...<em>

_No matter how much I run (I can't escape from it)._

_Everybody run, run, run away.._

_If I look back while running, you're still there_

_You got me runnin'runnin'runnin'around._

_Down, down down..._

* * *

><p>Gonna try to update tomorrow! If not, saturday or sunday! Please bare with me with this story. I hope this chapter doesn't turn off any of my readers. THIS TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO TYPE. CRAP. Sorry, if some parts in paragraphs I use my descriptions so strange. I was rambling at some parts, I have to admit.<p> 


	6. Asleep

Author's Note: Well, today was a break from school and I could say this chapter isn't really my strongest. Shorter than usual. I rambled a bit and wasn't really into it as much since I kind of want to get this chapter to get over with. Just hang in there, you guys.

**Don't own victorious'characters...blahblahblaaaaaaah.**

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><p>Ch. 6; Asleep<p>

She set her palms down; away from her face. Jade opens her eyes and what she saw was a disaster. One taxi cab hit the rear end of another parked cab and another cab demolished the front of a Volkswagon at it's side. Jade quickly sprint to both of the cab drivers and the other driver in the Volkswagon. Luckily, neither of them died; they were just seriously injured and bleeding but not as much as Jade's condition from the rape that happened. She didn't have her phone with her as to she was still wearing her hospital garments. She saw the public telephone in the corner of her eye.

"I'll be right back for help! Just stay put...please."instructed Jade to one of the drivers. She went straight to the public telephone and dialed 911.

"See what you fucking did, Jade..?"Jade scolded to herself as the ringing noise seeps through her ears.

"I think I'm just...mentally insane...or just ill-tempered-"

"11, any assistance?"Jade felt sick.

"Hi, there's a car accident on Bleeker Street, Manhattan. And...I was the cause of this."

"Are you okay? Where are you injured?"

"No, no. I'm not injured. There are three drivers who are. Uhm, one of them hit the rear end of a parked cab and it caused him some bleeding on the head as he probably hit his head on the stirring wheel. Uhm...another cab driver collided against a driver's volkswagon. The driver in the Volkswagon is probably the most injured."Jade's heartbeat was beating faster.

"We'll be there in a flash."Jade hang up and waited for the police and ambulances to come to Bleeker Street; the street at it's not traffic moments. The painkiller was wearing off and she could feel the agony everywhere but she ignored it. At the moment, she just feel like a demon is within her, just walking in her path and pulling her away what was meant to happen.

* * *

><p><em>Hour later<em>

"Jade! What happened? Are you hurt? Again?"Jade's mother shrieked as she saw her daughter still in her hospital garments.

"No! I'm fine, Mom...I'm just feeling like shit right now. I stopped running here and as soon as I wanted to turn back to where you were, The taxi cab almost came straight towards me but he stopped but he swerved and collided into that one park cab. And then...Fuck, then that one other Volkswagon collided with another cab driver. Mom, it's all my fucking fault. I shouldn't have ran away. I just...f-f-fuck.."Jade stuttered as she felt that she deserved to take all the blame and the fear of what the possible aftermath would be after they take the patients to the hospital. She could of have been killed! The drivers could have been killed! She couldn't sort her thoughts out that hour ago. She reveals to herself a lesson to not let another version of her back there to control her again. She just can't...cause look where it led her into...

"Honey. Shhh. Stop. You're safe. You're alive. I'm here."Jade's mother said.

"ME ALIVE? I shouldn't have! It's all my fucking fault! What if one of them don't make it? This is how horrid shit gets with me. I'm not safe. I'm at fault! I shouldn't have fucking ran! I fucking can't believe it! I deserve to let karma slap me across the face!"Jade sits on the curb and massages her temples. Jade's mother sighed and said,

"I'm sorry for what happened back there. You were right; I should of have been there when that night happened. I'm so sorry honey...I'm-"

"No mom! Stop! It wasn't all your fault...I'm just a stupid kid. It wasn't your fault even with Dad. All you wanted was for me to be happy with the life I've been living in and I'm thankful to have a mother like you. Just...I'm so sorry. My thoughts went insane back there. I can't even figure out what's going on with me..."Jade's mother rubbed her back and hummed to Jade as Jade let her head collapse onto her mother's shoulder. A policeman five minutes later went up to Jade and her mother and Jade was scared shitless as much as from the rape.

"Heard it was your fault, mam'"The policeman said.

"No. It wasn't."Jade's mother replied quickly, knowing her daughter would probably say what really happened.

"Stop, Mom. It really was my fault, sir..."Jade mumbled.

"Explain please? You're wearing a hospital gown..."The Policeman was left trailed off.

_He thinks I'm mental or something?... _Jade thought to herself. She shook the thought and explained,

"I ran from the hospital...I apologize for having a mental breakdown. I just...kept on running and I stopped at Bleeker Street. As soon as I decided to go back to the hospital, the drivers all emerged and crashed into each other...I'm sorry officer, It's all my fault. You could take-"

"No need to. It wasn't your fault. One of the drivers was consumed with alcohol...I believe the one taxi cab driver who kept continuing on straight to where you were. The volkswagon driver, I'm not sure as the driver must have been not paying attention to the road and must have drove off to the other intersection, leading the other taxi cab to collide with the volkswagon. You were pretty lucky...if that guy was really that drunk, he would of rammed into you but he just swerved by surprise..."

_Wow...Maybe God helped me out there...a miracle? _Jade asked herself. Whatever happened, Miracle and Luck just used their power on Jade.

"But officer, the damage and every-"

"No worries. It wasn't your fault! Stop thinking it is, Kiddo!"The officer cut Jade off.

"Still believe it is..."Jade murmured.

"What was that, kid?"

"Nothing."Jade walked off with her mother five minutes later to go back to the hospital for checking up and getting more type B blood.

_No more conversations with insanity anymore, Jade. _She thought.

Through the whole process, it left Jade drowsy as the painkillers she swallowed again was dissolving within her. She fell asleep and a certain hyperactive child roamed around the city of her dreams.

* * *

><p>A car pulled over to where Cat was. The rain slowly fades it's music but the concrete of the street was still soaked. Cat slowly looked up and saw her big brother opening the passenger door. Frankie walked up to Cat and said, "I forced Mommy and Daddy to pick you up. I don't care what they say and they usually let me do whatever I want to do. So I wanted to pick you up."<p>

"You shouldn't have."Cat whispered while she was drowned in her tears.

"Yup. I should have. And I did. Cause sis, I love you. I always have loved you ever since mommy gave birth to you. I was very happy to have a little sister! You're precious to me and you're a part of me because I'm your big brother! And you shouldn't be taking care of me the whole time. I should too since I'm the oldest! Through the hardest times, we should take care of each other. Don't leave, Sis. I'm sure Jade wouldn't want you to leave..."

"What do you mean about Jade, Frankie? She already left me!"Cat screamed. Frankie's face stiffen but he continued on,

"She may have but what would Jade say if she was still here? Wouldn't she hunt you down..or actually, get mad that her best friend is running off into some place and her friend never even told her where she was going..."

"That's funny, Frankie because one, she isn't hunting me down probably because she would of probably be where I am. Two, she never told me why she left or informed me whatsoever what happened!"Cat's face was turning red. Frankie uncomfortably shifted near his sister as he discovers that her cheeks heated up the salty tears on her face while he wipes it off.

"Then forget about her..."Frankie whispered. Cat's head motioned upward and gently pushed off Frankie as he sensed that Cat will never have the power to forget about Jade. She took ahold of Frankie's hands and said,

"You said you were going to pick me up and go through this together?"Frankie nodded and they both went inside the car. The whole car trip back home was silent and the Valentine parents never slipped a word about what happened earlier.

* * *

><p><em>2006;<em>

_Sing me to sleep,_

_Sing me to sleep,_

_I'm tired and I.._

_I want to go to bed._

* * *

><p>Months has passed for Miss Valentine and Miss West. The days within the months grew tough on the two. Jade and Cat was diagnosed with depression but they both secretly kept that within them so they wouldn't cause trouble to anybody except cause it for themselves. Jade refused to take pills as she knows for a fact that she might overdose if those voices that comes at night will force her to. Jade was an incredible actress and acted as if everything was fine but really, nothing is making her happy. She could only be thankful for her loving mother, giving her all the support. The support doesn't fill her heart fully though. Cat had always been an actress but not only to her parents but to her friends. Frankie was the only person that made her feel at least okay in the fiery moments of her parents punishing Cat everyday. The depression within Jade and Cat made them more drowsy upon their lives. As soon as Jade gets home from school, she walks up the stairs to her room, does her homework which takes about a few hours, and goes to sleep without eating dinner. Depression took away her appetite as well as her soul. Nothing could make Jade feel alive unless Cat was around. Jade tries to not think of her other self as it tries to consume her mind but she goes on life with much more nasty remarks than before. She became more dead and became more rude than she was before. At some point, she became somewhat a new person but not fully. Cat would just eat away her sorrow as time goes by. Everything at home was lifeless. At school, her social life was wild and had much enthusiasm. She goes home, endures the punishment her parents would give her and goes to her room crying till Frankie comes in to comfort her. Her brother has gotten better...somewhat. He still had some attention span problems but he loved his sister very much and at times like these, his attention would always be on Cat. Andre and Robbie never suspected what was going on in Cat's world as she was pretending through out the months. The reason why Cat has been acting as she was back in elementary years (and her bubbly personality) was that doing this could remind her that Jade was real. To relive the moments of happiness. To put the past within the present. That's all she could do for now.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Sing me to sleep,<em>

_Sing me to sleep,_

_And then leave me alone._

_Don't try to wake me in the morning,_

_Cause I will be gone. _

_Don't feel bad for me._

_I want you to know,_

_Deep in the cell of my heart,_

_I will feel so glad to go._

* * *

><p>As Jade wakes up early from her alarm to school nowadays, she wakes up, puts on the clothes she could find on the ground, and just leave already. Her mother would sometimes check if she's still sleeping but she sighs with disappointment that her daughter is already gone. She worries about her daughter but even though she tries to take a step closer to her daughter, Jade's soul just gets a closure. Jade didn't despise the atmosphere in her house but she did dislike it since the word, "despise"would be such a strong and harsh word for the household. With the time she has to school, she would just take a stroll around the nearby park. Everything about the park kept things quiet and calm for Jade as she sees the leaves running down to the ground. She could only imagine that Cat would probably sprint up to the pile of leaves and roll around as the leaves surround her. The broadway production let go of Jade and Jade could careless about it. She didn't want to go back there since it would give her horrid memories from what happened months ago. In middle school, she just took drama classes but she doesn't act as much as before. She writes skits. Whatever she written, it would be poured from her soul and the venom of depression.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Sing me to sleep,<em>

_Sing me to sleep,_

_I don't want to wake up,_

_On my own anymore._

* * *

><p>The only thing that Cat looks forward everyday is just sleep. The sleep takes away the problems, the pain, etc. Anything really. But whenever her dreams itches her mind to wake up as it ends, Cat feels the agony of reality. When she wakes up, she's always alone. Sometimes, Frankie would be there sleeping right next to her but most of the time, he would be wandering off after she fell asleep. She dresses herself up and of course, last but not least wears a smile that isn't rightfully placed on her face as she was the only person who was pretending as the hours pass.<p>

* * *

><p><em>There is another world,<em>

_There is a better world..._

_Well, there must be._

_Ohhh, there must be..._

* * *

><p>Sometimes, Cat refuses to get a ride from her parents. She decides to just walk to school but she gets easily distracted as she would go to the park that Jade and her use to go when they were little. She would feel the atmosphere swaying with her as she twirls and closes her eyes. Visioning Jade watching her from a distance, laughing at how silly Cat's random moments can be. As she grew tired, she collapses on the grassy field and stares at the sky. Holding her hands up high to see if she can touch the clouds. Imagining Jade right by her side, trying to hold her hands up high also. If only they were together by each other side, the symphonies of their joys would overcrowd the air.<p>

* * *

><p><em>There is another world...<em>

_There is a better world..._

_There must be..._

As they both lay separately on their beds tonight, they could wait...maybe. There must be a better world...

* * *

><p>Happy Veterans Day!<p> 


	7. The Camel Song

Author's note; Sorry I haven't updated on Saturday you guys. Been busy and I probably won't update as much this week as I'm trying to focus on a song I'm trying to compose for the talent show I'm in. Let's all hope for the best for that. Hopefully, you guys could figure out the concept of this chapter. Giving credits to The Camel Song by Clara Chung for the lyrics. I'm going to update a lot on thanksgiving break since I'll be staying home most of the time. I'm not ready for the victorious season finale on sunday.

**Don't own Victorious...blaaaaaaaah.**

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><p>Ch. 7; The Camel Song<p>

_Running through the forest, hand in hand._

_Jumping over streams, talking 'bout our dreams._

_We laugh, we smile, we dance._

_Would you give it one more chance?_

_Please, don't let me leave this place._

_I really, really don't wanna wake up._

_Cause then I'll have to face all the thoughts that race,_

_How it all ended up the same,_

_Without you here in my arms..._

* * *

><p>A dark hue clouds in as a pair of eyelids fall apart. But as soon as it collapses, a vivid light shines through. She tries to reach out a hand to touch the warm light but as she tried, the light blasted it's way through her. Is she awake? Is she asleep? She doesn't know. Trees surround her and the wind blew through the grass. The flowers were swaying with the wind as she pulls the stem from the earth. She sniffs it and a sweet aroma reminded her a memory. A memory as in not a time but a certain someone. She cautiously walks through the forest and she listens in to the birds chirping it's music. Everything about this glorious and glowing place was so peaceful to her. As she goes through the forest, she saw something that hammered her heart. Not something but someone; a girl. The girl was kicking the water off the stream and giggling her heart out as she realizes that she hasn't heard this kind of laugh in forever since then. The girl looked up as she stepped on a branch that made a sound. The girl's grin was wider than ever. The girl extended her hand to let her come closer as she wanted a warm welcome back. She stumbled a little bit but she managed to get to the girl. The girl's hair was very vibrant like and it didn't surprised her this girl would have this color of hair as she knew this girl way to well.<p>

"Hey! It's been such a long time!"The girl said cheerily. She shook her head with confusion as she suspected this person would be upset at her but of course, the girl was very forgetful about it and went along still being sweet.

"It really has been...Listen, Cat-"

"What have you been doing for the past year? Your dream of becoming an actress going strong?"Cat said.

"Uhm well. I'm taking a break with acting for a bit. I've been writing skits and stuff...anyways-"

"Oh goodie! Everything has been so fantastic! I've gotten better in singing...see for yourself!"Cat started to vocalized.

"...Wow. You're..."

"So! What are you doing here?"

"..Well. I really don't know the answer to that..." Cat giggled and showed her clear grin.

"..Listen, Cat. About how I left for the year to move-"

"I forgave you! Who cared about the loneliness that has been happening with me because of my best friend's departure? I've made it! It's okay!"Cat beamed with unusual happiness.

_This is very complex...what is going on... _Her voice echos enough that Cat could hear.

"What's complex?"Cat asked.

_Wait...you could hear my thoughts..?... _

"Yeah I can! You think too loud and hard! This is your dream for crying out loud!"Cat sprang around the river stream and went on the log that was laid on top of the stream.

".Well, come on! I'm not going to leave you here!...not like how you did with me..."Cat spoke in a sad tone.

"See. This is what I'm trying to say...I'm sorry that I didn't have any explan-"

"OOOHHH! LOOK!"Cat tugged on her sleeves.

"Cat..."

"Do you see that beautiful hill? Do you remember what was built on that?"Cat tugged harder on her sleeves while beaming her smile as she hopes for a spark of memory from her best friend.

"...Yes. That was the Treehouse we both built in third grade...but Cat-"

"Correctooo! Let's go! Hold my hand as we go on a exquisite adventure! Just like old times!"Cat grasped her palms and they both sprint through the river stream on the log. They sped through the forest while Cat starts to let go of her hand and skip through the path that led to the unforgettable treehouse. The sun was beaming through the branches. Feet were pressed hard enough that it would crack the earth's surface. She starts to form a grin as she sees Cat skipping and humming with joy. It was exactly like old times. Through nature's course, she sprints as the wind seeped through her hair and Cat's fruity aroma going through her nostrils. The two were both barefoot and the ground lighted up as each step took place. Cat's high pitched laugh was the loudest sound out of the forest they were in and as they reached their destination, she stopped laughing. Cat extends her arm to the girl who's been through with Cat through the times of happiness and carelessness.

"Shall we?"Cat saw her nod slowly and she grasped her arm as they both climbed up to the treehouse. The house was filled with dust and Cat first went up to the desk of all of their drawings they've made since elementary. There was a picture that Cat drew which was a visual of Cat's...Cat named Lucifer whom died when Cat went to middle school. That was probably one of the most devastating days Cat had to endure which additionally, her best friend was busy enough to go to a friend's party. Another drawing was drawn by Cat's best friend among all...it was dark and mysterious. Except you could see the detail of blood trickling down the stick figure's head with "x"ed out eyes. She would. The other side of the tree house was a bunch of the toys they've stolen together when they were little. These two weren't always goody goody as Cat would always persuade her best friend to steal it for her. She would shake her head and steal it for Cat anyways. There was one toy where it was "Cat's and Jade's"baby.

_God. Could this biologically happen if we ever-_

"Remember, I could hear you think!"Cat giggled as she tiptoed to the other side of the tree house since the building looked as if it was going to rot into pieces. The two rummaged through the tree house as they discovered each detail of it a memory of their sturdy friendship from before. She stares at Cat as she swirls around with plastic foods as she assumed Cat was pretending to cook something for the both of them. She crept up to Cat and hugged her from behind and tears start to trickle down her face.

_I miss you so...I miss you so..._

"..Aw. I missed you too! Why tears?"Cat had one of the most beautiful chocolate eyes according to this girl as she longed to see it in reality. She rubs Cat's smooth face and traced her grin. Her lips trembled as she doesn't know how to consume and control the sparks she feels within her whenever Cat appeared in her visions.

_Cat...I left because of my father...It was terrible...My parents had a divorce in front of me. He was planning to have custody over me but...but I wanted to get away from him. And well, m-my father was having an affair with someone else and my mother couldn't take it. She wanted to go out of state and-_

She heard Cat whimpering and Cat pushed her off as she swore she saw Cat stomp on the wooded floor.

"You should of have told me why! You don't know how lonely I felt!"

_You looked fine earlier..._

"Well I hid all these emotions of loneliness and longing of you. Not even a call, perhaps to inform me what was going on?"

_Cat, please calm down. _

"No, I will not! I have the right to get upset over this. I know it was difficult for you about what happened with your father but you didn't even tell me anything! I thought you would tell me what was going on with your life but ever since sixth grade, we've been growing apart! It hurts!"

_That's cause you were busy with other people you've met!_

"Well I'm sorry that I have more friends than you!"

_Okay first, we had the same friends and second, why is your hair color all...red?_

"Does it really fucking matter?"

_Whoa. I didn't know I left a trail of my flames or steams in you, Cat.._

Cat heavily sighed and let the tray of plastic food collapse to the floor. Cat starts to quickly walk down the treehouse and climbed back to the earth's ground. Cat heard someone yelling her name and she refuses to turn around. She just kept strolling...

_I know you could hear my thoughts, Cat, but please, don't leave! I'm so sorry...Don't go! Stop where you are, please! I don't want to wake up! Please don't make me wake up after you disappear!...Cat, are you listening to me? I don't want to face what's been going on with me lately...Cat!...Cat!..._

* * *

><p><em>Keep holding on...<em>

_Keep holding on..._

* * *

><p>Cat's scalp was bleeding after the result of her father throwing one of the dishes at Cat's head. Cat was bursting into tears as the the pain burst into flames. She sprinted upstairs to the bathroom to wash her hair and to stitch the gash on her scalp by herself with the help of Frankie. She stares at the mirror and thought the blood's color looked rather dashing on her. She stared at some parts of hair being soaked with her own blood. She bit her lip then stripped down to take a bath. The blood was encircling the drain hole and the agony kept pinching on Cat's scalp. After her bath, she dries herself up and stitched her gash to close it in.<p>

"Kitty Cat! Are you okay? Did you die on me?..Oh please don't die on me-"

"It's okay, Frankie! I got the stitching done...Say, could you try to find me some red hair dye that mommy never used in her bedroom?"Cat plays with her hair as she waits for Frankie to find the stash of red dye. Five minutes later, she heard a knock on the door and it was Frankie with the hair dye. She opened the door to let Frankie come in and said,

"Could you help me dye my hair with this, Frankie?"

"Sure thing!"

"Do you think Mommy and Daddy would care?.."

"Psh. They never care, Sis. Are you kidding me?"Frankie scoffed as he squeezed out the red dye onto his gloved hands. The process of dying took an hour and a half and as Cat washed her hair, Frankie was overly enthralled to see what her sister would look like with her new hair color. Cat made a stunning exit out of the bathroom to her bedroom where Frankie was waiting. The red had a very violent color but it suited Cat so well. Cat made the color not violent at all actually. It reminded of Frankie of red velvet cupcakes and strawberries since it was one of his sister's favorite foods. Frankie held his hands onto his cheeks and squeaked,

"Sis! You look so cute! Ahhhh!"Cat smiled and asked,

"So...I actually pulled it off?"

"Heck yeah you did!...Your hair reminds me of red velvet cupcakes and strawberries."

"Hehe. I'm glad you think that because that was one of the reasons why I dyed my hair that color."Cat felt giddy as Frankie kept complimenting his sister's hair. The siblings talked for numerous of hours and sometimes, their variety of random conversations would feel just right. But it isn't enough as Jade's and Cat's conversations. She would get so use to Jade's nasty remarks and secretive caring. The moon was on it's routine and Frankie yawned as Cat kept discussing about her longing for Jade. He fell asleep on Cat's bed and Cat took some pills of painkiller to get the throbbing out of her scalp. An hour ticked pass and Cat collapsed into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Remember how we laughed, our hearts beating fast.<em>

_It was like a scene straight from TV._

_We sped away from the cops on our feet,_

_To find a spot on a hill that overlooked the city._

_Still with you here in my arms._

* * *

><p>Her eyelids spread while she saw the fluorescent lights of green, red, and yellow as she was laid across a pedestrian. She slowly sat up and realized she was still in Los Angeles. She was wearing her Pajamas still back from reality and the city of Los Angeles was empty. Newspapers were rustling out to the roads as the wind makes it's direction. She jaunts her way to where the road takes her. She passes by through empty stores and the windows of the stores were shattered. She tries to call out for help but nothing pitched out from her throat.<p>

_Wow...that's weird...I can't speak...Where's everybody..._

She follows where ever the road goes to and the more she goes deeper into the road, the more she fears something was out there to get her. She thought she heard footsteps behind her but as she turns back, nobody was there. She starts to embrace her body as she walks through Los Angeles. As the time flows by, she tries to crack a word but nothing just comes out from her throat.

_Where is everybody?...Hello?...Is anybody out there...I'm all alone..._

"No you're not."A voice came from behind her. She slowly rotates as she fears it was some serial killer out to kill her but once she turned around fully, her heartbeat tried to thump out of her chest.

"...Long time no see..."

…_.Jade? Jade!...Ack, Speak come on! Where are my words? SPEAKKKK!_

"OUCH! STOP SCREAMING!"

_Wait...you could actually hear that?..._

"Yes. I could hear your thoughts. Now, stop thinking and let's start conversing..."

Jade looked very weary and her clothes were all torn that it looked like she just got raped. Jade grasps her wrist very strong and she power walks to an empty restaurant.

"Quickly. There are actually Cops here who are bastards. The public of Los Angeles are at war with them because of the rebellion we, the people, created."She gives a complex facial expression and before she could ask Jade a question, Jade picked her up and carried her to the abandoned restaurant since she was walking so slow in Jade's eyes. They both were inside the restaurant and every detail of the design ignited a memory within her mind. Jade smirked as she saw her best friend in awe with the familiar place. Jade locked the restaurant doors and went to the jukebox to turn on some music.

* * *

><p><em>Pizza and pasta with the band playing Sinatra.<em>

_Nothing else can ever compete,_

_Like a two piece puzzle, they don't even come close,_

_With you here in my arms. _

* * *

><p>"The band here got killed...anything ringing a bell there, miss?"Jade said.<p>

_We use to eat here a lot before and dance around with the music that band played..._

"Atta babe; that's right. Use to play some good showtunes too."Jade winked as the girl rubs her neck while she reminisce this place. The music roared and Jade took the girl's hand. The two friends danced as they enjoy the reminisced atmosphere and place. Jade showed one of the grins that the girl loved most and remembered. She embraces Jade's body and the two rocked and swayed back and forth. She could feel Jade's smile by her right ear and she felt flames form within her. Whatever the two friends do together, everything was equal happiness and the world had hold a beautiful sight. Nothing else can hardly compete with what they do together as one. Literally nothing. As they parted before, even though the weather would always appear at it's brightest, dark hues would overcome their heads as they both look down to their shadows. The weather misunderstands most people but then again, they never understand people's emotions.

"How are you holding up there?"Jade asked as the music faded. It all felt too fast as she gazed at Jade's eyes. Jade motioned her hands up to her face as the girl was way too out of space to pay attention to Jade.

_Where have you been, Jade. _It was such a dull, straight forward tone as she asked the question.

"I could ask you the same. Where have you been?"

_I asked first, Jade!_

"Well, we all have a story to tell, don't we?"Jade scoffed as she slouches her way to the empty diner seats.

_Yes, I could agree with that, Jadey but I asked first. Where have you been? _

"Some place called, 'A better life" Jade sneered as the girl's face went close to her's.

_I'm sorry...I'm sorry I haven't been paying any attention to you...well I have but-_

"Bullshit! Before I left, you were with Shapiro and his damn puppet!"Jade flared out with disbelief.

_I'm sorry, Jadey! Please stop! I'm sorry..._

"Cliche to say but apologizing isn't enough. I'm not sure what to say to you anymore...That is why I haven't called you...nor talk to you whatsoever with problems I've dealt with..."

_I miss us. _Jade's eyes widens but within a few seconds, it softens.

"I always have too. But this is insane. I left and I thought you forgotten about all of what we had...Look...I can't. I really can't. I'm just going to go."Jade quickly got up and unlocked the enterence doors of the restaurant. Jade sets her hands in her pockets and walks away from the lost girl who's been trying to find the answer of why her best friend's departure was unspoken of between the two.

_Jade...Jade!...JADE...JADE!...I demand an answer!...Jade!...J-jade..._

* * *

><p><em>Don't forget the journeys in the snow solving mysteries,<em>

_And in the desert full of camels._

_As I finish this song, I have one request,_

_That you be in my arms. _

* * *

><p>The two awoke as the sun beamed itself through the blinds. One was left with a stream of smeared makeup and tears while the other was holding all that was left in her back in.<p>

_Keep holding on..._

_Keep holding on..._

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed!<p> 


	8. Rainbow Connection

Author's Note: Wrote this late and I'm aching so badly at the moment. Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions, you guys. I promise you next week will be lots of updates. I swear. I want to watch the new Muppets movie very bad. I don't care how childish it is; Muppets are amazing. Hehe. Giving credits to Kermit for Rainbow Connection. Haha!

**Don't own victorious and it's characters...Season 3 better hurry it's ass up.**

* * *

><p>Ch. 8; Rainbow Connection<p>

Fear. Fear is one of the ghastly ghouls that overcome our souls. It could shiver us whenever it wants to as it comes across our minds and conquer our courage when we should conquer them ourselves instead. Even if it's facing us right now, we all have to, right? Fear doesn't have to be horrible as it should be because once you end it, it ignites a beginning of something that sparks up something new. We all knew what fear was when we were at our youth; the monster that was under your bed or clawed itself onto the wall, the moment when you have to be the only person to speak up in front of shrouds of other people, some part of humanity using their eyes only as a judgement onto you, being all alone, and the list could go on depending on what childhood you experienced as a child. Fear strikes at you whenever it wants to as you grow older but do not forget that it develops your soul with more wisdom and audacity once you arise and move past it through the days of your life. Because once defeated, one must always rise. So I could assure you it'll always be okay. It'll always be okay as Fear takes it's position on the battlefield between the both of you. It doesn't always have to end it with one soul. It could sometimes consist the defeat by two individuals. A hand longing for a grasp as the other helping hand lays itself towards the other hand for guidance as it grieves to get past this suffer. Sometimes, Fear could be a creature that can gnaw a connection with someone you once knew. A death perhaps. A issue that you two fought over. Anything really but just so you know, there could be a reason and purpose for this. Whatever the purpose is, it'll lead into something fantastic, right? In short term, Fear strengthens us in the end no matter how evil it's power could possibly be.

The stars lit towards Los Angeles' heart and the window at Cat's house was wide open as the wind drifts itself in. Yet several months till summer takes it's course again, Cat wasn't in the mood for the heat to drive in. She walks to the window and hangs her head out once the red velvet strands of her hair fell straight down that it hits her face. She rocks herself back and forth carefully in case she'll fall over the window and crack her head open. Her gaze of the direction that was down suddenly crept above and met with the moon. She sighed heavily as she retains the fact that the moon reminded her of Jade. The moon blossoms it's glow through the cracks of the alleyways of Los Angeles, streets, highways, anything really that was planted on the earth. Sometimes, Cat thought the moon was very mysterious as her thoughts would always go ahead onto why does it appear. When the skies were dimmed, it just matches with the moon and borders it's darkness with the moon's brilliance blush. All of what she thought of the moon just describes Jade generally recently. Even before her departure, she believed in her own eyes that Jade was very mysterious with her motives towards Cat and being all alone. And especially, Jade's pale skin and grin would always glow through the evening's glare and the beacon's radiance. The stars that were scattered across the evening will never be compared against Jade and the moon. Cat back away from the window and decided to go outside to the Valentine's pool. The Valentine house wasn't really a town house; more like a mansion. The family's wealth just automatically appears once you see the house. You could just tell how filthy rich they were. Cat was barefoot walking to the pool as her hand sways through the bushes that were following beside her. She was in her My Little Pony pajamas from when she was little (and by little, I mean at fourth grade). Since she had one of the most petite bodies across the world, she could fit into anything that were small; small as she was when she was young. As her foot placed itself on the desired destination, her eyes were focused on the water below. She takes a slow stroll around the pool and stops at the steps that were stationed towards the pool. She rolls up her pants and deposits her feet into the bleak water. The moon was glistening onto the pool as it's glow shines towards Cat's face. She peers at the water, motioning little waves of itself. Cat leans her head back and her eyelids began to close, sparking the memory that will always be remained in her mind forever. She starts to feel the warmth all around her and it seems that daytime has came over early..

* * *

><p><em>Why are there so many songs about rainbows,<em>

_And what's on the other side?_

_Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,_

_And rainbows have nothing to hide._

_So we've been told and some choose to believe it..._

_I know they're wrong, wait and-_

"_CAT!" Jade screams into Cat's ear as Cat sings one of the Muppets songs that were stuck in her head for the past few days. _

"_Whaty?" Cat whimpers in pain once Jade's shriek echoed in her ear._

"_Please stop watching that stupid monsterious puppet movie so I could teach you how to swim." Jade responded calmly but yet impatient. _

"_That movie is one of my favorites Jade! How could you not love that movie? Especially Kermit's song! …..Someday we'll find it! the rainbow con-"_

"_NOT ANOTHER LYRIC. I SWEAR TO GOD." Cat pouted as Jade turned the television off and turned to Cat. _

"_...You wanted to know how to swim, Cat, yesterday. You didn't want to be laughed at once everybody knew you didn't know how. I told you I could give you a helping hand to get over that fear of swimming. You were even whining to me to teach you how! So don't make me come to the point that I went to your place just for this movie...are you in it or not?" _

"_...Yeah. Thanks, Jadey. I'm sorry." She rubs her palms together with her sweater's sleeves as she felt Jade's mini lecture was a punishment. Jade always felt the hint of guilt once she yells at Cat and someone this innocent shouldn't be treated that hard enough._

"_...When we get this over with...I could endure another 55 minutes of the movie...as a treat." _

"_Really? You would do that?"_

"_Yes IF you let me teach you how to freaking swim first, Cat!" Jade threw her arms in the air as she glared at Cat's excitement. _

"_Okay okay! Fine!...Will I make it out alive?" Cat said suspiciously. _

"_...You're sitting in front of one of the most bravest people in the world. You'll be fine. It's just water!...that I hope you don't drink." _

"_Oh. Okay. I thought once I drown, I could absorb all the water by drinking all of it!" Jade shook her head as she rolls her eyes and clasps Cat's hand once they got outside. The bask of the skies were glimmering it's shine as it traces all of Jade's skin and Cat couldn't help but gaze upon her companion's beauty. They walk along the sidewalk and reached to their designated destination. Small crests were risen above the water as the wind carries little of itself and Cat starts to feel angst as her vision scatters around whatever the water has reached onto the walls of the pool below. She starts to clutch on Jade and Jade was startled by this movement of her. Jade takes a long glance at Cat as she could see the fear's blaze was within Cat's eyes. Cat's perception of swimming was already reflecting towards the water as it appeared that she let the horrors of anxiety get in touch with her mind. Jade tried to push Cat closer to the water but Cat would shrill and then jump into Jade's arms as it was a haven for security._

"_Cat! You have to face your fears! Please!" Cat sensed Jade was getting eager. She pouted to Jade and Jade slowly set Cat down. She gets a hold of Cat's hands and places within hers. _

"_Cat...I know this is very frightening...trying to conquer this fear you're having. But it's okay. I'm here. I make everything for you easy, correct?" Jade started to sound a bit anxious._

"_Yes...But Jade! Look at the ridges or waves of the water!"_

"_It's freaking small waves, Cat. It's not like it's going to wash you away and drown you out!"_

"_Is it going to?"_

"_NO!" Jade clench her teeth as her patient starts to run out low._

"_But what if I drown, Jadey? Would you lift me up?"_

"_Ugh of course, Cat. Just try? Please?" Cat nodded and the two both started to walk to the stairs of the Pool below. Jade started to strip down while Cat does the same, leaving the two wearing bathing suits. Jade, of course, takes the first step into the pool. The water was brisk and she starts to motion her arms around at the time she was at the 5ft. depth of the water. Her gaze goes straight to Cat and Cat's arms were embracing her petite body. The expression she appears with was trepidation and uneasiness as she bit her lips and stare coldly at the water. Jade tiptoed back to where Cat was and Jade extended her arm out._

"_Here. I'll hold you first?" Cat's eyes harden and the fear was still blazing within it. She shook her head and Jade tiptoed closer to Cat._

"_Come, Cat. I'm here. If you drown, I'll rise you back up. I'll help you. Stop being afraid."_

"_Mmmmff..." Cat mumbled something that Jade couldn't manage to understand._

"_Cat. I'll hold you!" _

"_Could you just hold me forever?" Realizing how cheesy that sounded, Cat started to giggle causing Jade smirk._

"_Yeah, yeah. But not forever. Sometimes, you have to do things on your own, Cat, once you face your fears alone." Jade assured. Cat frowned as she understood. _

"_But just hold me for a while now that you're here with me." Cat shrieked._

"_Of course. But not too long; then you wouldn't be learning how to swim." Cat nodded and she placed her hand within Jade's hand. She slowly paced down the stairs and the water level increases little by little to her toned legs. As she finished down the stairs, the water was already reached up to Cat's legs. _

"_Okay. Now, you gotta keep walking towards the deep end as I hold your hand, Cat." Cat conceived Jade's instructions and the two slowly walked to the deep end. The water was slowly rising as each step was taken and Cat's fear was igniting even though Jade embraced her body. _

"_Jade...I want to go back to the house..."_

"_We're already 6 ft. and the water is up to your neck. If you suggest that option and go with it, then you gotta go home by yourself. I won't be able to guide you there." Jade started to loose her grip on Cat's sides and Cat's eyes widen. _

"_NO! NO NO! JADEY STOP! I'LL DO IT STOP HOLD ME!" Her hands were flying everywhere causing the water to get into Jade's eyes. The chlorine burned her eyes but she ignored it as she knew her best friend needed her. _

"_Okay okay! I got you!" Her arms were linked together again, wrapped around her body. Cat sighed in relief and started to hug Jade, setting her head onto Jade's cheek. _

"_Mfff. Cat. I have to teach you...If we can't do this, no Muppet movie!" _

"_The water is rather frightening, Jade!" Cat started to whine._

"_Cat! We have to do this! We're doing this together! I will hold you, remember? Now, just loose your grip on me right now." Cat gradually let her hands get off of Jade. Jade held her sides and starts to push her above a water a bit._

"_Okay. So I have balance right now. I'm not tiptoeing; I'm floating but I'm holding you right now, Cat. Do you see that below you?" Cat's head motioned downward and looked back up to Jade to nod._

"_Alright. Let's start floating by your back. I'm going to push your body above and going to try to lay you down. Okay? I'm still going to hold you by the way." Jade instructed. Cat felt the anxiety seeping in as the water leveled down her bathing suit. Jade laid Cat down on the water and gradually, she let go of Cat. _

"_Okay. You know how I said you have to face your own fears sometimes? You're floating right now, Cat and I'm not holding you...Don't shriek..." Cat didn't bother to look as she knew that she was floating once the water held her weight. _

"_This is...amazing, Jade! Is that all?" _

"_Uhm. No, Cat. This is just the beginning on how to float..." _

_Thirty minutes later, the two girls were at the deep end of the wall. Cat was shivering as she clawed her nails onto the railing. Jade was trying to show Cat how to motion herself to swim but Cat was too busy being paranoid. Jade noticed and swam next to the fragile girl. Cat was closing her eyes and Jade pinched Cat's sides. Cat was startled then gazed around the pool and then looked straight into Jade's eyes. Jade's expression wasn't angry or wasn't just bitchy looking. It was soften with concern and worry. Her hand touched Cat's shoulders and rubbed it for the lack of comfort Cat was receiving. She entwine her arms around Cat and said, _

"_Cat...I know you're scared. But...maybe if it's better...no matter how much I have to this for you to learn and by this, you owe me big time Miss. Valentine...I'll try to sing that one song that Kermit was singing as I teach you how? Does it sound like a plan? Just follow my motion and you and I could sing together to get this paranoia out of your system?" Cat started to form a grin that Jade was just looking for. She nodded in agreement._

"_Just focus though. Sing and motion...sing and motion...sing and motion..." Cat turns around to face the open water. She inhales gently and exhales. Jade motioned her to slowly jump off the wall and to push her arm through the water until it's by her side. Jade assured her to keep this motion repetitive. Once Cat's mind reaches into the fear's heart, Jade starts to sing._

* * *

><p><em>Who said that every wish would be heard,<em>

_And answered when wished on the morning star?_

_Somebody thought of that and someone believed it._

_Look what it's done so far..._

* * *

><p><em>Cat started to hum to the tune of the lyrics as she starts to motion what Jade instructed her to do. Cat closes her eyes once she knew Jade was holding Cat in case of her drowning. <em>

"_Kick your feet, Cat along with that. It'll make you move quicker. I got you...Just keep singing..."_

* * *

><p><em>What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing,<em>

_And what do we think we might see?_

_Someday, we'll find it, the rainbow connection._

_The lovers, the dreamers and me..._

* * *

><p><em>The more Cat has followed Jade's directions, the more she reached to the other side of the pool. They try to go back to the deep end but at the middle of the water, Jade let go of Cat and Cat was swimming without even realizing Jade was holding her. Jade quickly swam to catch up to Cat to continue to sing so Cat wouldn't go insane if she knew she was being held by Jade. She was stroking the same pace as Cat and kept her vocals content with the moment.<em>

_All of us under it's spell. We know that it's probably magic._

_Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?_

_I've heard them calling my name..._

_Cat was stroking close to the deep end and still haven't realized the fact that Jade hasn't been holding her. Although, Cat's eyes were still sewed shut but as long she swam really, she learned how to overcome her fear of swimming and to swim. _

* * *

><p><em>Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors?<em>

_The voice might be one and the same._

_I've heard it too many time to ignore it._

_It's something that I'm supposed to be._

* * *

><p><em>Cat's hand gripped onto the cement ridge and opened her eyes then turned to face the open water to see Jade several feet away from her. <em>

"_How did you...wait..." Cat felt complex till she realized the solution why she was there and started to cheer for herself as Jade vocalized her highest note,_

* * *

><p><em>Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.<em>

_The lovers, the dreamers and me._

* * *

><p>"<em>You did it, Cat. Defeated fear!" Cat grinned and motioned the same way that Jade taught her to do. She swam perfectly to Jade and embraced Jade's body. She wrapped her arms tighter than ever on Jade's body causing Jade to start coughing a bit. <em>

"_Jade, we did it!" Cat cheered and clapped as she was floating. _

"_No. You did, Cat." Jade laughed. The two squeezed each other tight and caressed. Cat won. With the helping hand of Jade's, she won. Fear was the one who was the coward and Cat's bravery that finally blossomed within her did it. Whenever Jade sees the hyperactive child filled with happiness on her expression, Jade perceived the warmth and passion of making her friend content as she can be. The two started to swim around and splash the water to each other. Where ever Fear was, it vanished and their wits crowded in their souls. Everything was perfect for them for the past hour of swimming._

"_So...you promised me to watch the Muppets movie with me?" Cat asked._

"_...Right. Uhm well-"_

"_JADEEEEE! YOU PROMISED AFTER!" Cat whined and Jade bit her lip as her friend possesses a quality trait of that captivating adorableness she always had. _

"_FFFFFINEEEE. I KNOW I KNOW..." Jade groaned and the two swam back out to the stairs to exit. The two went back to the house and Cat microwaved some popcorn as Jade puts in the movie. As the microwaved alarmed that caused Cat to shriek, Jade chuckled and watched as her friend pour all the popcorn into a big bowl. As Cat got back, Kermit was about to sing and Jade increased the volume of the television that caused Cat to raise her eyebrow._

"_Okay, the lyrics are actually good and I like it. Alright?...ALRIGHT? Stop looking. It bothers me, Cat." Jade said coldly. Cat chuckled and saw in the corner of her eyes that Jade was smiling wide._

* * *

><p>Cat was laid above the water and gazed at the stars. Everything felt magical for her but not as much as she felt back then. The time when Jade taught her how to swim. The time when she taught her how to fight Fear once it creeps in. She hums the familiar tune and had a debate to fall asleep on where she was at the moment or just try to connect the stars above her and think of the possibilities of where the moon has gone to. And by moon, not THE moon...<p>

* * *

><p>OWWWW I'm all aching. I have so much knots on my back and sides. Someone should give me a good massage.<p> 


	9. Fuel

Author's Note: Let's get some METALIICAAAAA in here. Giving credit to the lyrics of Fuel by Metallica. Such a good metal band. Anyways, it's friday and it's the start of Thanksgiving Break! You know what that means for you guys? More updates of this story. Hopefully, I won't be busy and have some time. I'm staying home through out the whole break. So we shall see. Anyways, enjoy.

**Don't own Victorious and it's characters...,mnsadf**

* * *

><p>Ch. 9; Fuel<p>

_Give me fuel!_

_Give me fire!_

_Give me that which I desire, ooh!_

* * *

><p>Contracted jaws and veins showings it's lines through the neck or fists; Madness starts it's routine there. When something terribly goes wrong or when something torments your insides, blazes starts to kindle it's way within and the invisible exhausts escapes through your nostrils. While Wrath greets you into his path for momentarily, your visions are transformed differently. The way your mind works it's own knowledge transforms. With Wrath by your side and your only companion for the short amount of time (hopefully), you weren't who you were a moment ago; a savage with such monstrosity is consuming you and is your own shadow as you abuse whatever passes by you and your mind. With such combustion flaring, nothing means a thing. With bare hands and verbal manifest, it was your own will and power to figure out what's pinches your insides, or a increase of feud towards yourself, or try the might you attain to selfishly receive all what you want, or the person who's become the situation, or the inanimate object that stares at those dilated pupils you have attained. With such a brute, the weight of reality is no match once Wrath guides you. Most of the time, mortals would consider to carnage against madness. With a lost, surroundings are in debris or the other mortals' emotions would be shot with pain. With a victory, released tension will occur and all the impaired visions you've just witness will be blurred then cleared as you see everything on the brighter side. With a victory, you, yourself, has strive to keep Wrath away...<p>

* * *

><p><em>Yeah!<em>

_Turn on, I see red._

_Adrenaline crash and crack my head._

_Nitro junkie, paint me dead,_

_And I see red._

_One hundred plus through black and white._

_War horse, warhead._

_Fuck em' man, white knuckle tight,_

_Through black and white._

* * *

><p>"Shit." Jade exhaled. The combustion has done it's job again within Jade's flared essence. Thirty minutes ago, Jade was beyond infuriated as she thought of her day. Her temper was nearly erupting through the day and still the night. At school, the students in her class would always whisper insults about Jade as if she didn't have any ears or she was deaf in their perspective. The girl could listen closely dammit, and if you ever gaze upon her binder papers, there could be images of the students who thought the girl was very peculiar that were very violent. Her teachers were always disturbed with whatever Jade turned in for credit for school but they were petrified to even discuss these visionary threats to her as they imagined her doing the same towards them. Jade could collapse with the amount of words being spoken about her but she had a pride that was too strong to fall apart. Although today, she just couldn't bear to hear any of these hurtful words that it finally went through her essence and her pride. She felt weary about what the students whispered to one another that she apprehended. Then after school, everything came to her. She reacted too quickly. She was the match, the wrath opened the door that led to her mind, and it ignited the fire to lit the match. New York had many derived paths set for the irrepressible young girl. Wrath was under her skin and whatever movements Jade created like stomping on the sidewalk as if it's about to crack was what Wrath made her do. The sidewalk of New York impel her to the alleyways. She was directed to a obscure concert venue down in Manhattan with dented backstage doors. The place was the battlefield for Wrath and Jade. The music that every ears could taste and hear was very hardcore that made her verbal abuses away into dancing and moshing. Mostly, the local concert would always present metal music and it was one of Jade's favorite genres in the music industry nowadays. She was one of the few females to attend the concert but she could care less. As she motions herself, it puts her into meditation except you're moving instead of positioning yourself to stay and be in poise. Whatever she shoved, she abused Wrath with it's heated motives. The more Jade was greeted by Wrath, the more she becomes a different person. It feeds her with itself. Jade didn't want that and one way that could try to vanish Wrath besides shoving or dancing all that she had was to think about what Cat would feel. Cat would have terror in her eyes whenever Jade's complaints turn into an agreement with herself only; not with Cat. Whenever she argues with Cat, the two are secretly hurting with the fear of losing each other over something that isn't as important as their bond that they had. Cat isn't here though. When her mother is willing to be a part of Jade's issues, she bails back as soon Jade shoots her a glare. Jade could only help herself to fight off Wrath and her issues but it would return to Jade whenever it pleases to. Everything was in motion in the venue and as Jade headbangs away the troubles that has been encountered within her today, she was out of control. The music was supposed to be the water to put out the Wrath's fire. As the Wrath inches closer, the thoughts were rising. The motions were colliding against her and the more it rubs against her, the more she takes her lack of control to a whole new level. Her mind was a cassette tape; re-running the tracks of before, re-running her thoughts and events that happened before. Eventually, the tracks of her mind were led to the indescribable yet terrifying anger. Then here comes the finale, Jade's thoughts leads all the way to back then, back where Cat's and hers bonds were strong. Then, she blames herself for not meeting Cat for one last time. She blames herself and her family for leaving to New York. <em>Everything would of been perfect as it is if it wasn't for moving...everything would of been okay. Now, I'm stuck alone. I'm stuck with no one I could actually connect with. Cat was the only one. She would of comfort me. She would of done all I fucking can't take what New York has given me recently...I have to get out... I can't contain...FUCK. WHY DOES EVERYTHING GOOD HAVE TO END? I CAN'T MANAGE...CAN'T MANAGE TO GET WHAT'S ANGERING ME OUT. THIS SHOULD BE ENDING. FUCK...I CAN'T-. <em>Jade sets her fists on a man's cheek and knocked him down to the cement. Her breaths heaving out from her mouth and nostrils as her knuckles were bold white and showed the green veins...

* * *

><p>"Shit. Shit." As the hundreds of crowds stare in terror and the music starts to fade, Jade saw the blood seeping out of the man's mouth and nose. Who knew the girl could strike a powerful punch on the guy. She feels her surroundings eyeing her down with some multiple gasps having a choir. She releases the tension within her knuckles and Wrath escapes from her spirit quickly as she falls into a sudden realization of what she has done. The man wasn't moving so Jade quickly checked his pulse.<p>

"Still alive..." She murmured to herself. She didn't mind the crowd that were bordering her and the man but all she felt was the ping of guilt for the man.

* * *

><p><em>Ooh, I burn.<em>

_Fuel is pumping engines,_

_Burning hard, loose and clean._

_And I burn, _

_churning my direction,_

_Quench my thirst with gasoline._

* * *

><p>"What are you all fucking at? He's alive! Feel his pulse!" Jade said. With the numerous eyes on her and the man, she started to feel irritation and Wrath returning with it's presence again. <em>Not now. Stop...Stop. <em>She curses to herself. Her mind comes up with an excuse but what was she thinking? She knocked down a guy and well, that was pretty hardcore of her, correct? Everybody who exits out of the venue would always have at least a cut and bruise on their body; where ever. You could sense that the man's face would probably look not pretty as a possible sewing and/or bruises. The crowd was crying with shocks and high concern. Jade directs to the crowd and all of the mortals' face within the crowd would stiffen.

"You guys wanted hardcore, right? Well fuck, here it is!" Jade pointed to the unconscious man. Some mortals nodded in agreement with a roar of "Hell yeah!"s and some were still concerned of the man's injury and life at possible stake or so they thought. Each look to one another on what to do next except Jade felt to get out of here since her Wrath's motives might tell her to do more horrible things. So Jade burns every direction with her lips bleeding from how much the anxiety she also held within her essence. She thirst for escaping for now. As soon as she exits, a hand grasped her biceps. Startled, she turned around to see one of the people from the crowds came to talk to her.

"What are you going to do with the bleeding douchebag?"

"...If you can call the ambulance and call the police on me. It's alright with me..." Jade said slowly.

"Nah. Have you ever heard of that asshole, Robert Pennington, who literally had this really...almighty strength he would struck upon the other people in the venue? Thought he was the king of the world in this venue.." The stranger rolled his eyes.

"...and I punched him, did I?"

"Yeah, you did. Shit, I'll call the ambulance but you being involved with the police is unnecessary and the douche deserved it since his ego was so high and his abuse to others. Just wanted to thank you and impacting the safety...er somewhat safety in the venue now...Probably make up a story just to keep this damn place safe."

"Well. Your very welcome...and sorry..."

"...Say, aren't you a bit too young to be in this ven-"

"Shoot. My boss from work is telling me to get him-er some paperwork contracts for him uhmm, later!" Jade responded quickly as she could. The venue was age limited. No one under 18 was allowed and Jade was only close to 14 soon. She didn't want to get any more trouble. Funny to say that whenever there's trouble that occurs to her, she ends up being fine afterward. The night skies were soaring with the stars as Jade looks above, thinking about what happened on her friday night. She checked her cell phone later on; 11 texts from her mother. Jade rolled her eyes and sprinted to her and her mother's apartment. As soon as she got home, her mother was asleep. She wasn't hungry as usual but was very thirsty so she went to go to the fridge to get a water bottle then tiptoed to her room. She sat on the edge of her bed, cogitating all the piles of her past thoughts that was struck upon her. It wasn't Wrath's turn to take over Jade's mind. It was despair. She finished drinking her water bottle and laid herself down, setting her gaze on the ceiling above. Her ceiling was painted black and it felt that the night skies were following her around the whole time. She retraced her thoughts and the least of her worries was that Robert guy she sandwiched on the face an hour ago. What put her in despair was what Wrath's motives were doing within Jade. It was unlike Jade...Well, it was somewhat Jade since she has changed little by little through out the months. Despair whispers to Jade's mind that everything that has occurred today was all her fault by the actions she created. She couldn't let go what she has done. Despair was the one that lowered Jade's ego and strength appearance she shows to strangers and many others. Despair made Jade attain delinquency with herself and it never comforted her. Nothing couldn't comfort Jade unless the brilliant child she has been through for years before was with her. Jade looks over to the side of the bed and remembered that the picture of Cat and herself, with their arms around each other were framed and planted on the desk. She extended her hand to grab the picture and viewed it closely. The two's smiles were wider than the grin that Jade has been holding for the past two years now. She has gotten so use to bearing this sadistic grin she's been holding on. Her thumb rubbed Cat's face on the picture and Jade's lips tremble.

"It feels strange. I feel like she's watching over me and shaking her head in shame once I do something horrible. I wish to stop but I can't control these emotions, Cat..." Teardrops were trickling down the frame to Cat's face. Jade starts to have a conversation as if Cat was there.

"I know for a fact that if you were here, you would of calm me down and still listen to my complaints. I can't even complain with words anymore. There's nobody to vent out to, Cat. There's nobody to hold my hand and grip it once you sense my anger rising. There's nobody here but me. I shouldn't have fucking left...I should have accepted the custody that my father was willing to get...I didn't think living so far away from you would be so difficult. Is it difficult for you, Cat? Are you okay?...God, who am I kidding? I'm talking to the damn picture of us for crying out loud...Well, if you can hear me; that's the only question that concerns me the most. And other questions, Cat...I should of stayed with you, Cat. I should have endured it all with you. I should have...It's been lonesome. I can't focus on any other the academic courses besides drama class. That's the only class where I give my full attention since I literally...pour all my feelings there as I write scripts or act out something depressing...I'm thinking about attending to a performing arts high school since that's my main focus in life is the cinema and I know for sure it is. I bet you know that too, Haha...Anyways, I don't know where. I'm not sure. But I really hope one day, Cat...that where ever I end up to, I hope you'll be there...Oh please, be fucking there. I can't take it here. I want to get out of here..." Jade starts to weep for as long as an hour it took her to fall asleep, with the picture held against to her chest and dried tears on her cheeks.

* * *

><p><em>Give me fuel, <em>

_Give me fire,_

_Give me that which I desire._

* * *

><p>Jade's mother has been standing next to the crack open door that led to Jade's room ever since Jade went inside her bedroom. She slides down to the wall, attains a thought that she never thought it would occur in her mind, and goes to the bedroom to get her laptop. She places the laptop on the dinner table and goes on safari to google a topic that has been bothering her since Jade's arrival till the next morning with her head on the laptop keyboard.<p>

* * *

><p>Hah. I don't know how to end Jade's mother's part on this chapter. Head on the laptop keyboard xD<p> 


	10. Undercover Martyn

Author's Note: Hiya. Giving credits to Two Door Cinema Club's lyrics, Undercover Martyn. Thanks for the reviews for the past days. Keep reviewing and you might expect quick updates, maybe? Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STATE I DON'T OWN VICTORIOUS? I DON'T OWN THEM AND IT HURTS.**

* * *

><p>Ch. 10; Undercover Martyn<p>

_And she spoke words that would melt in your hands._

_And she spoke words of wisdom..._

* * *

><p>Jade's mother was sound asleep even though her daughter has been constantly poking her sides for the past five minutes. She softly snored and Jade furrowed her eyebrows. Jade shook her mother's back, still no response or reaction.<p>

"Mom, wake up...Hey. Wake up...WAKE UP!" Jade yelled causing her mother falling off of her chair.

"WHAT?" Her mother screamed back. Jade put her hands onto her sides and asked,

"You were sleeping on your laptop...Well actually...Hah, more like drooling on it. Were you up all night chatting with someone new or something?"

"Oh...no..." Jade's eyebrow rose above to her forehead.

"Well...let's see here..." Jade's mother's eyes widen as she saw her daughter's hand trying to get a hold of the laptop. Jade's mother quickly slapped her daughter's hands to retrieve the laptop back.

"Ow! Mom! What was that all about?" Jade said while rubbing the area of tinged pain her mother caused.

"...It's my laptop. Privacy, honey. You learned that already, right? Since I'm mostly out of your bedroom now and you won't let me in to your room anymore.." Jade's mother's fingers were tapping in a musically beat as she could feel Jade's suspicion and eyes against her skin and face.

"Yeah...sure. Learned that...Just that this is new coming from you, Mom. You always talk about nearly anything about yourself to me; you never had a secret that you couldn't tell unless it's suppose to be a surprise I guess..." Jade said, suspiciously. Jade's mother felt a bit of panic and anxiety rushing in her. She doesn't want her daughter to figure what she plans on doing at the moment; in fact, she doesn't even know if she was ready and willing enough to do this plan she conducted. Jade walked to the kitchen and made some green tea for herself and her mother. Her mother nodded, "thanks", and sipped quickly as the heat of the tea burns through her throat and tongue, and into her stomach. Jade was sipping her tea slowly with such a concern that was itching her. Once her mother was done with her drink within the couple of minutes, her fingers were tapping musically again with the laptop in front of her. Jade gazed upon her mother's uneasiness on herself. Knowing her mother, she wouldn't dare to keep anything from Jade and she would tell anything to Jade even if it was horrible news being given to her. There has got to be something wrong.

"Mom. You do know you can talk to me once something bothers you, right?.." Jade gradually asked.

"Yeah, I know, hun.." Jade's mother was giving her attention more to the laptop than Jade. Jade tried to snatch her laptop but her mother was way too hasty for her.

"Mom! What's going on?"

"Nothing!...What's going on with you, dear?...I heard you talking last night to yourself...or so in reality, you were.." Jade's expression was filled with bewilderment; she thought her mother has fallen asleep before Jade got home.

"...Were you eavesdropping on me?"

"Hun, you were talking to yourself loud and I heard you cry...I listened through the whole discussion...I thought you got over her, Jade." Jade's mother's teeth was cutting the dry skin on her lip and the more harder pressure comes, it was because she senses her daughter will have a tantrum towards her. Jade's face was still cement as before; she guessed already that her cries should be decreased from before cause look where it got her again.

"..What do you mean, "got over" her, Mom?"

"...Well, I don't know...I mean...ever since the hospital, you started to have a closure with yourself. You and I never had a real...depth conversation in a long time since then. You didn't really speak anything about your days or anything particularly on your mind, you know?" Jade started to look directly down to her long brunette hair and used her split ends that she would play with to not let the unrefined tension seep through the air.

"Heh, well do you want me to discuss with you the past days and months? It's been fantastic. The scripts I've written before and now for Drama class has been going great. Getting good grades as usual. Uhhh, made some...interesting friends.." Jade lied.

"...And yeah, that's about it..." Jade was still toying with her hair as her mother takes in these perceptible lies her daughter just spoken a moment ago.

"Jade, I can tell when you lie and can tell when you're not." Jade's gaze was aiming at her mother's face.

"Okay then." Jade murmured. Jade's mother massaged her temples as her daughter takes another sip of her tea. Jade's mother started to state,

"If you had friends, you would of had them to come over. You always tell me you go to the library after school or some place in Manhattan which makes me feel anxious since I don't know if you really are telling the truth to me or not. I know you take part of Drama class and you have good grades. What concerns me enough though is just you crying over something that I thought that it would be forgotten already."

"...It's no big deal, Mom."

"Well when a situation is already led to tears and misery, I think it's quite a big deal."

"I don't think you should be concerned about this, Mom." Jade's eyes narrowed down to the ground while she felt her mother's eyes aiming at her.

"I should because I'm your mother and I'm responsible of your own doings and self. What happened? Have you even talked to Cat recently or before?"

"...I haven't talked to her since we left Los Angeles." Jade said, deliberately. Jade's mother turned off her laptop so she could talk to Jade with full diligence and to finally discuss what has been haunting Jade since then.

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because...?"

"Ugh, Mom! None of this concerns you!"

"Your eyes still looks puffy from last night...What ever happened between the two of you? You two loved each other as best friends should...I don't understand why all of a sudden you two never communicated as much since middle school occurred.."

"Well, Mom...People move on!" Jade threw her arms in the air as her mother was starting to itch her temper.

"Ah yes. They do but some people don't. For example; I had the impression of you not getting over this situation you had or have at the moment with Cat by the way you acted last night." Jade's eyes focused on the ceiling while herself focused on what her mother is trying to say.

"Jade, I'm saying that it's okay to admit you feel a strong sorrow about this. Losing someone who was a part of you, who's been through everything with you, is an issue that could be so difficult to over come and forget. I know how Cat and you act towards each other. I know how connected you two were with the amount of similarities and differences you two had. She was out of the ordinary and you were too. She had a very...dashing personality while you were opposite of that. Both of you were opposites and sometimes, opposites attain connection and having someone who isn't you is comforting since sometimes, we can be very weary of ourselves and we would know what we would exactly do if we met ourselves. I could see how you two loved each other very much, dear." Jade's expression was blank once her mother started speaking but as her mother continues, she became coarse and unrefined.

"I bet Cat still loves you, Jade. The girl maybe filled with joy and a very wide attention span that she couldn't notice what's going on with her surroundings but I bet on my life she misses her best friend and is very sad about her friend's unexpected departure...which I should apologize by the way."

"Pft. Sure." Jade scoffed. Her mother fluttered out some air.

"I knew this would be so difficult on you, Dear..."

"..I didn't know it would have all along, you know.."

"Mmm, I suppose. But anyways, it's okay to confess that you haven't felt so content with what's been happening recently. What's poisoning your happiness is that you keep bottling up all these emotions you've been trying to handle but the more it piles within you, the more weight compresses within you that once it's almost filled, you start to erupt it out that could hurt definitely yourself and others. I know once you get so angry, you use your scissors to cut whatever you see..and oh, thank god you don't do anything abusive with yourself with that...but yes, that or just anything really that's stress reliving that gets the anger out of your system. So honey, I just want you to please...please, tell me what's on your mind for now on." Jade's mother reached out Jade's hand.

"You are powerful, Jade, but sometimes, the strongest has their weakest moments. The strongest would feel to forget what they have held causing them to feel weak. The strongest has the ability to cry and don't get me wrong, crying is probably one of the benefactors to become more stronger as you have held so much care and pain for the issue. The strongest has already convey the gravity that the issue pressured into and will have to overcome it as they walk. The strongest who has steady with it's weak parts has become strong. And..." Jade's mother walked around the table to Jade and set her finger under Jade's chin to put her head up.

"And the strongest has always been you. It always has. Through all you've endured, you're still living. You're still living before my eyes. You're still strong." Jade flickered her eyes towards her mother's face.

"I'm weak, Mom."

"Honey..."

"I heard what you said...but I don't know. I'm strong but I can't accept the fact that I'm weak at the same time." She stood up and gently pushed her mother away. Her thoughts start to whisper and it starts to make Jade feel the mixture of fury and melancholy all at once. Jade's mother didn't know what to say anymore to encourage Jade to keep on moving as life goes on. Jade left her no more words to keep alive for Jade.

* * *

><p><em>You hid there last time, you know we're gonna find you.<em>

_Sick in the car seat, cause you're not up to going,_

_Out on the main streets, completing your mission._

She walked up to the roof of the apartment her mother and her lived in. She tried to hide away from her mother and her thoughts but it was so rigid to stay away from her thoughts since it was the only best friend she had for the past months. They would find her and she would find them eventually. Her thoughts were the place of two people as it was Jade herself and some other despair of herself. The despair would always discuss to Jade the cons about everything she thought about. Every memory she didn't want to think about once it lingers the fact Jade can't have that back. Every tragedy occurring that made Jade believed that it was all her fault when whatever has happened was meant to happen. Despair was one horrible friend she could ever get. She didn't feel to complete happiness anymore and it was every humans' goal towards life. She couldn't trust Despair and it's motives as it could directly take you to where the light stops. It was a Saturday in the midst of New York and Jade sat the ledge of the roof. She steadied herself as she focuses on the idea of what would happen if she can just let go of her soul by bounding out of the ledge.

* * *

><p><em>And she spoke words that would melt in your hands...<em>

_And she spoke words of wisdom..._

Home alone as usual for the little Valentine. Dark hues already landed in Los Angeles and Cat snuggling with her Care Bear blanket she had when she was little while watching some Looney Tunes. For the past hour, mini ice cream buckets and strawberries were spread all over the table in front of the couch Cat was sitting on. _This is one way to feed off of sadness... _Cat thought as she took the last bite of the mini ice cream bucket. Once one of her favorite episodes finished off with Porky Pig saying his farewell as he popped out of the Looney Tunes credit sign, another episode was going to air but her mind was too busy thinking about the past. Before long, Cat changed the channel due to lack of comedy there was in the next episode and a channel caught her eyes. The channel showed, Breakfast At Tiffany's, and it was one of Cat's favorite movies as it taught her something she never thought through. No, it didn't necessarily taught Cat about what was a prostitute like in the golden days but it taught her what love does to everybody and where it could possibly lead to; even if it led someone within the relationship somewhere in the dead end or led them into a good sturdy pathway. It also taught her that Love was one of the significance that bought people together; people or two individuals plainly loving each other's existence and presence. It wasn't only the movie who helped her to understand what was Love's motives. Jade helped Cat for understanding and what's out there by expressing her perspectives about Love. Her and Jade watched Breakfast At Tiffany's once and that was when Jade gave her a lesson on what she thought strongly. She was just in time to watch the scene where Holly sings, "Moon River"...and there, her mind started to drift off into another world.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey...Jade?" <em>

"_Mmm what?" Jade wasn't giving her full attention to Cat as she watched the Television._

"_What are we watching?" Cat asked._

"_Breakfast At Tiffany's I think." _

"_Oh. I never heard of that movie but it looks good..."_

"_Me either. Interesting, huh?" _

"_That actress is pretty."_

"_Yeah, she is." _

_The two were sitting on the Valentine's couch as they watched. The living room was chilly and the heater of the house was broken at the moment. Cat and Jade were bundled up in blankets while Cat rested her head on Jade's shoulder. The television kept shrieking as the actress and actor within the TV were arguing over something Cat couldn't understand. Jade could feel Cat frowning against her skin. _

"_What's wrong now, Cat?" Jade said, quietly._

"_Why are they fighting?" Cat asked, innocently. _

"_Well...because one is disagreeing while the other agrees which creates an argument with one another." _

"_What do ya mean?" _

"_Well..they have differences.."_

"_What differences?"_

"_Ack. Cat, I don't feel like explaining..."_

"_Why not?" Cat stood up and gazed at Jade's eyes with a pout. Jade glanced back but tried to ignore until Cat started whimpering like a dog with her lips still pouting. _

"_...God. Why do you want to know?"_

"_Because I'm so confused, Jade! They seem...so angry at each other and...denial? And they look like they're about to kiss or somethin'." Jade still tried to scorn any attention for Cat but Cat kept rambling on._

"_Jade, why did they kiss after all that argument? Couldn't she just not forgive him or well, him forgive her? What's going on?...Jade, what were they even arguing about?...Jade, how did he get the kitty?...Hehe, how did he get me?...Get it, Jadey? Cause my name is-"_

"_Cat! Stop talking! I'm trying to watch the ending here!" Jade interrupted._

"_Oh..right, sorry..." Cat whispered. Jade glanced at Cat as Cat dug herself in the blanket to feel the warmth. Again, Jade felt the ping of guilt for yelling at Cat and not explaining what was happening and pinched Cat's arm._

"_Ow! I get it, Jadey! I deserved that. I didn't mean to interrupt anything.."_

"_Oh no; I pinched you so I could get your attention on me, Cat. I'm sorry...I'll explain." Jade shifted closer to Cat._

"_Holly and Paul were arguing because...well exactly what I said; one disagreed while the other agreed. Paul believed Holly was too afraid to admit that she's been head over heels with Paul and completely ignores the fact that she's in love. Holly is a coward, Cat. She set aside her emotions and went on taking people's money to capture riches that could pay off what she wanted with high expenses. Also, went on being with other older men to keep her company that the men pay her for that and she doesn't reach them after her presence is with them ever. Holly and Paul always enjoyed each other's presence and had a good bond with each other even though Holly would rat him out and be selfish. That's one thing about some situations, Cat. Well, relationships. But we're too young for that so I shouldn't be really-"_

"_JADE! JUST TELL ME ANYWAYS! AGE IS JUST A NUMBER WHO CARESSS" Cat whined._

"_OKAY! OKAY! Fine. I'm just telling you in my point of view, okay? I never had any experiences common to theirs."_

"_Mhmm!"_

"_..Anyways, where was I?...Oh right; their relationship. Paul was also tied into Holly and cared about her even through her flaws. Holly was a handful to Paul but he didn't mind. I guess something about her made him so connected with her. Holly was a wonderful actress at acting like she never attain any feelings for Paul but Paul sees through Holly. He knew that she had these emotions that I don't think you'll understand here, Cat."_

"_What emotions, Jade? Just tell me." Cat said, seriously. _

"_Well, you know...emotions...like...more than friendship." _

"_Love?"_

"_Yes, there you go. See you understand, now-"_

"_Tell me more!" Cat clasped her hands together as she seem to be enthralled with Jade's version of the movie._

"_...Fine. What do you think Love is, Cat?"_

"_Uhmm...Kissing someone on the cheek and lips? Hugging?"_

"_Haha that's expressing it but it's close enough. You see, Cat. Love is diverged into many possibilities of the Pros and Cons; but it all depends. Whether friends or more, it could get insane. People these days just mess with someone's emotions due to selfishness sometimes. People sometimes are afraid to love. They're afraid that once they love, they'll lose a part of them and who they loved. I think it just depends on the situation everybody is in, you know?...In Holly and Paul's situation, Holly fears she'll loose herself by loving Paul. Holly also thinks of herself mostly and doesn't seem to care about how much her motives affect Paul very much. Paul feels hurt with whatever she's been doing. She was selfish enough to not admit her feelings to him and to not think about what Paul felt. Remember, Paul explained to Holly that she's a chicken; 'Life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' From what I've heard, falling in love is indescribable. It completes your happiness. I think Love is all about looking past the flaws, figuring out the reason why you could see beauty in the flaws, and the start of inspiration of life. Have you noticed, Cat, that inspirations comes from people you love?" Cat shuffled through the blanket and thought for a moment of her response to Jade._

"_Yes...But Jadey, I know they had differences in their arguments but why did they kiss after?"_

"_Because they've forgiven each other from what has hurt themselves. They kissed cause they loved each other, Cat."_

"_What does love feel like?"_

"_I'm not sure...yet. I don't know...Maybe I'm feeling it without even knowing it..." Jade whispered so Cat couldn't hear Jade's theory._

"_What was that?"_

"_Nothing. I said I'm not sure yet." Jade said quickly._

"_I think I do!" Jade raised an eyebrow._

"_What makes you think you have, Cat? Don't be too naive about it..."_

"_Well, you inspired me to be myself, Jade! And well we don't kiss but.." Cat blushed as she thought about what would it be like to kiss Jade but she shook away the thought since it has taken her to long to say what she was going to say._

"_But we argue. And we get through that all the time. I know how rude you can be to people but I still find it very intriguing enough for me to love!"_

"_...What are you trying to say here, Miss Valentine?"_

"_That I love you, silly Jadey!" Jade looked as if she felt a tingle in her stomach._

"_Oh. Well...I do...too. But you're not IN love. We don't know that yet at all..."_

"_Yes, yes. But just saying Jade, I love you through all the troubles caused ever since the start of sixth grade." _

"_I do as well..." _

"_I wonder when I'm going to fall in love.." Cat wondered._

"_I wonder that too for myself, Cat. Haha...But I try to enjoy what life gives me. You should too, Kitty Cat. Love can be stupid sometimes for all I know and heard."_

"_..Jade?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Just going to tell you once again, I love ya and I don't think anybody is going to take your place as Jade. I know we haven't been around each other recently but I just want to assure you in case you ever forget what you have in front of you and get angry." _

"_Oh. Nice to know again, Cat. You'll always have a spot here with me. Hope you know that."_

"_You didn't say you love me."_

"_Whyyyyyy?" Jade groaned._

"_Because I said it!" Jade focused on Cat's eyes._

"_I love you also, Kitty Cat...Now can we move on and cook some food? Freaking starving here."_

"_Kaykay! I'll cook but you have to help!" _

_Jade rolled her eyes and followed Cat to the kitchen where they shared laughs and bliss. Almighty power of what love could bring together. It doesn't matter what label that are placed upon people; a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a companion, etc. Love is the one thing that keeps the cycle going through in life and it shouldn't be expressed by just a label. You feel love; you don't label love onto individuals._

* * *

><p><em>You hid there last time, you know we're gonna find you.<em>

_Sick in the car seat, cause you're not up to going._

_Out on the main streets, completing your mission._

"Here comes another 5 pounds..."

Cat finished another last bite on her fourth mini ice cream bucket to drain away the sorrow as she lay on the couch, watching Holly and Paul kissing for their heart's content. She groaned as she set the last bucket on the table and slouched on the arm rest of the couch. Thoughts start to encircle her mind as the movie scene goes on. She thought for once in her life, she wouldn't think about Jade and let despair visit her tonight. She feels as if everything in her life is set up to be only about Jade. She turned to her side that faced the television and watched as Paul and Holly were drenched by the rain. She gets a hold of her blanket and closes her eyes, imagining Jade was the covers she would always sleep with every night.

* * *

><p>Jade's mother looked through out the house to find her cell phone. Five minutes later, she found it under her bed and she sat on the corner of her bed. She rubbed the buttons of her cell, anxious enough if she should call this person. Before closing her door, she checked if her daughter came back home. Still alone, she thought. She closed her bedroom door, locked it, and sat on her bed again. She rummages through her laptop classified information on what she plans to do for the future. She looks at her phone again, grasping it hard as she could feel the angst to do this. She picks it up then dials random digits that were familiar to her. She gazes at her laptop right after she sent an email of news she's discovered lately and thought this opportunity would be huge for someone she knew while she was calling. The line picked up and the person's voice sounded raspy, "Hulllo?"<p>

"Hi Peter. It's Linda. It's been a long time since we talked and despite what happened before, I need to ask you a favor...This would mean a lot to this child if you listen.."

"...Fine. I'll listen despite about before. Fucking convince me, Linda, and I'll see how this goes."

"Okay...So..."

* * *

><p>I eat a lot when I'm depressed. See what I did there with the ice cream and Cat. -_- But nowadays, I'm over that cycle!<p> 


	11. Shake It Out

Author's Note: Little bit of rated M element here in one paragraph but ya'll can handle that. THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE LONGEST CHAPTER WITHIN THE STORY, "WHISTLE" or "WHISTLE FOR THE CHOIR". This took me three to four hours as I have no life whatsoever. Giving credits to Florence and the Machine's Shake it Out.

**Disclaimer: Yeah Yeah, don't own Victorious...I'm not a gank. **

* * *

><p>Ch. 11; Shake It Out<p>

Haven't we all noticed that sometimes within us that once pain comes to confront you, you want to forget? Forget what has hurt you. Forget what troubles you as you go through the weary days of your life? Forget what has been effecting who you are. Regrets come into mind also. You wonder what would happened if this didn't happened? Or that other option didn't happen while the other option did instead? Theories, theories, theories with the "what if's" that slips on your mind. You have to feel what is right; not think what is right. Take away the "what if's" and say, "This is going to happen whether it's good in people's eyes or bad but I feel this is right and that's all that matters since I will feel content about it". We all know that Night is our darkest enemies, including yourself. You're your own enemy as the moon comes around before dawn. Whatever the words you process within your mind, it's either going to trick you into feeling the opposite of what you felt through the sun's spotlight and/or just trick you again into getting yourself into more trouble with yourself. It's all a game; opponent against opponent. When come to mind with forgetfulness, we really don't necessarily think it through. We don't really realize the aftermath of what has hurt you once everything is done because once you forget, did you learn what you were suppose to learn in the end? What was meant to be that was suppose to effect you? The outcome will always be okay and each outcome you receive will be better than before...But this is a bit different with Cat and Jade as I explain this philosophy of mine towards life; Forget their past that is. And a life filled with regrets?

It's summer of the two's seventh grade year; almost their last year of middle school. Something that didn't cross the two's minds that later they'll be going to high school. Cat has been planning to fulfill her dream as an actress and a musician combined and thought that it was time to blossom towards her parents; despite how critical they'll be with Cat's decision. Frankie, of course, will always be there for his little sister and will always agree with Cat's decisions as he knows she'll be very happy with whatever she does. Even though Jade isn't around for Cat, Frankie tries to be like Cat's own Jade except not very crude. Frankie has become less illiterate but still, the boy still had problems of his own with his spazzy attitude. Cat has come to the debate that she wanted to go to a performing arts high school near Hollywood, Los Angeles; Hollywood Arts. She contemplated to become strong with this decision and as soon she has, she went to the Valentine's diner table where Mr. and Mrs. Valentine was. With the determination, she sought out that this opportunity she wanted was going to let her mind off of Jade for a while...maybe more than a while. But who is she kidding? Whatever familiar melody and lyrics exhales out of her mouth, it's something she wishes to say to Jade if she was here. Whatever films she watched (romantic, friendship, family friendly, etc.) films, she imagines herself as the main character and Jade as the main character's lover or companion. Her parents seemed to realize that their daughter was around. As soon as she has finished explaining what she has desired all of her life towards her parents...Well, you'll see soon enough.

Even though Jade's mother was stern to Jade before about telling her to speak what's on her mind, Jade kept everything to herself. She quickly scatters off once her mother speaks to her about her day since she knew she would have to be lectured about Cat over and over again once she told the truth till she can actually forget all about the delectable, dimpled child, which is probably never but she tries. Jade's mother couldn't try to keep her daughter content anymore but she still had something in mind that will possibly put Jade into a better condition...she just still isn't too sure of this decision as there is a chance that it'll haunt her. Through out the hazy days, Jade spends most of her time reading Edgar Allen Poe's and Hawthorne's writings, writing out her miseries either as poems or as skits, and embracing her legs as she thinks about Cat while being drowned by the sheets of her bed. Sometimes, she visits her mother's job to get some inspiration in her writing from Broadway productions. Sometimes, she walks and shops around Time Square with her mother as her mother just keeps talking like the running engines of the taxis that kept passing by them. Once the night sneaks through the blinds in her room, she was trapped with the demon clawing down on her black knight walls. Everything in her room was so lifeless. She kept even peculiar objects within her room; for example: The deceased old man that lived right above her room before's dentures, a dead squirrel's heart, dead butterflies, etc. Anything out of the ordinary. Whatever she does to waste her time of life away, it's cause of something to get her mind of Cat. Sometimes it works but as I stated once the night's armor seeps through the blinds, she'll come back. Cat's real. Cat has always been real she will always thought. She can't accept the fact that she'll still be alive even when she's from the past of her life. But who could blame her as she was so intertwined with someone who accepted her first among everybody else (besides her mother) and love her first for who she was?...

* * *

><p><em>Regrets collect like old friends.<em>

_Here to relive your darkest moments._

_I can see no way, I can see no way._

_And all of the ghouls come out to play._

* * *

><p><em>I think I can...I think I can...I think I- oooh! I can't...No! Stop saying that, Cat! You can!...I think I can... <em>Cat thought to herself as she shifts her weight back and forth down the stairs. The Valentine parents were settled in their chairs at the dinner table, discussing whatever parents usually talk about; either their day at work or their bills. Cat leans close to the walls as she felt her preference mixed with her sweat. Her back slides down as she tries to comfort herself from this tension she feels on herself. The Valentine parents were chattering loudly about how Mr. Valentine irresponsible he has been with his wife. The louder the argument screams, the more Cat wants to back out and ask them later but her determination that's still left within her at the moment motions her to just go up to her parents.

_If only Jade was here to just guide me through this and hold my hand...She never understood why I always needed her to go with me whenever I ask my parents I needed something...My parents never rejected whatever I need since they didn't want to appear who they really were back at home to her...Wait. By this time, this isn't about her!...I must stop. Who cares about her right now?...Forget...Forget about her, Cat... _Cat rubs her palms together with her PJ shirt sleeves as she tried all she has got to ignore her thoughts about Jade. After a moment, thoughts of the girl whose name that is also a sort of gem's name is knocking inside her mind.

_I regret meeting her...I regret reacting to her the first day we met...I wish I could forget but...she has done so much for me...What am I trying to say..?...Wait what am I trying to say here? I'm not suppose to think about her. Focus, Cat! Oh my goodness...stop, Cat! If Jade said- NO! Stop! No more Jade would do this and Jade would say that...No more...Stop...I wonder what would happen if she was here with me?...I'm sure my parents would...STOP!...She isn't here! She's not real...Never...Well, she is...Oh pooey, I can't stop thinking...I wish I could forget about her. This would be so easier...No...Flipping-_

"Sis?" Frankie said, loudly. Cat looked what was above her with her eyes broaden then clasped Frankie's mouth with her hand.

"SHHH! I'm suppose to ask mommy and daddy something really urgent, Frankie. But they don't know I'm here and they would think I'm eavesdropping on their conversation...So shhh.." Frankie nodded once his eyes enlarged. He muffled through Cat's soft hands,

"Are you sureee...it's a good idea to..mfff..ask what you really want, Cat?...I mean, sure they don't care but..."

"I want to try, Frankie. Can't I give it a try? Alone..? I always had..." Cat gulps.

"I always had...h-her around whenever I wanted something from Mommy and Daddy...I want to try something new..." She lets go of her grasp on Frankie's mouth with the result of his saliva on her hand.

"...Trying to forget?" Frankie inquired.

"Yes. Now, don't talk about...Jade once more. I'm gonna try to this. For my own happiness and to keep my mind off of everything that has bothered me...Maybe you can help Frankie?" Cat gave Frankie hopeful eyes.

"You said you just wanted to do it alone, Cat!"

"Oh yeah, huh?..." Cat starts to toy with her crimson hair as Frankie studies her.

"...How about I'll be here, at the stairs and I'll listen through the whole thing? If it gets ugly, I'll walk in and try to help you?.." Cat forms a grin at her older brother's plan.

"Good idea, Frankie...I think I'm ready..." Cat stands up with her weight back on. She takes each step gradually as the Valentine parents still were conversing. At the last step, Cat exhales all the anxiety and inhales confidence.

"Okay. Whatever will happen is what's meant to be...cliche as it sounds. Whatever something new comes in my direction, no more darkest moments...Think that...Think that, Cat. No more thoughts that are caused by anxiety...Nothing else. No exceptions. Going to do this...Going to do this...Ack, what if this isn't going to go well? Probably not...Maybe if this doesn't work I could just-"

"Cat, is that you behind the wall? Are you at the stairs? What are you mumbling about?" Cat's father yelled as he sensed his daughter was near by. There's no way for her to turn back now...

* * *

><p><em>And every demon wants his pound of flesh.<em>

_But I like to keep some things to myself. _

_I like to keep my issues strong._

_It's always darkest before the dawn._

* * *

><p>The blades of the scissors that were covered in light crimson blood reflected Jade's cemented face. Shockingly, no tears has dwell onto the floor as she studies her own liquid that oozed out of her arms. Her gaze looks upon her arms that were shaded with red. So much cuts but they weren't deep enough since Jade wanted to experiment what was it like to feel the physical pain of her skin being cut upon by blades or anything sharp. She looks above her as she tries to feel the agony rushing through her skin; the agony was no different than what she has been feeling before her departure. The demon's claws were puncturing her shoulders and she starts to feel the wrath embracing her mind.<p>

"THIS ISN'T RIGHT; WHATEVER I'M DOING TO MYSELF!" Jade yells as her cold survey goes toward the dark hued walls. She stands up in a way that a drunkard would do once he is knocked out. As she staggers her arms towards the ceiling while feeling dazed, she exclaims,

"Is this what you wanted?...I'm completely gone mad. I'm hurting myself!...I need to put all your torments of me away!..." Jade spoke to the devil within her until her mind shifts to the past.

"..Cat, I'm sorry. I know you would hate me forever if I ever hurt myself and find out...Maybe not hate me? Right?...Just a bit angry at me? Disappointment?...I don't know what I'm doing, Kitty Cat..." Jade was home alone in her and her mother's apartment since her mother had to work her ass off late for the production that were doing a show tomorrow. Jade exhaled deeply as the blood runs through almost her fingertips. Thinking that once the blood will drop on the carpet, it'll give curiosity to her mother when she comes back. Jade quickly ran to the bathroom and wash all the cuts and blood off of her arms and hands. Stinging with the heat of the water, Jade stares at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were starting to form some dark bags and she didn't want her mother to suspect that she had lack of sleep also. Jade didn't want her mother to know anything she was capable of doing now recently that it'll hurt her mother. The issues she's been dealing with, it's like she wants it to be alive rather than dead by the motives she has caused for and to herself. As soon as she finished cleaning herself from the wound that pricked her every movements, she walks back to her bedroom to check any blood on the floor. After discovering no blood of her own was found, she changes her clothes to her pajamas and puts on the bandages on her wounds she caused. She sets herself on her bed as the wounds licks through her skin with the stinging and tingling. She gazes at the ceiling as she rubs the wounds that were bandaged. _Wasn't a good idea...Wasn't a good idea..._ she thought.

* * *

><p><em>And I've been a fool and I've been blind.<em>

_I can never leave the past behind._

_I can see no way, I can see no way._

_I'm always dragging that horse around. _

* * *

><p>"You want what?" Cat's father slammed his hand on the table. Cat was startled by this but she can not falter her confidence in what she's been trying to comprehend to her parents.<p>

"Daddy and Mommy, once middle school is over, I want to go to Hollywood Arts." Cat stated.

"That damn performing arts high school?" Mr. Valentine asked.

"Yes." Cat quickly responded. The parents' eyes were darted on Cat's eyes. She couldn't possibly motion to go back as she starts to feel regret about asking. But once she thought of her older brother listening in at the stairs, she felt safe somehow.

"...I never seen you be so...'talented', dear." Mrs. Valentine sneered.

"Do you want me to show you what I got then?" Cat exclaimed. She could feel Frankie's grin against her skin once she finally showed her confidence out. Frankie really was smiling at this, behind the walls.

"Yeah, keep dreaming, kid." Mr. Valentine went back to what he was eating until he heard a harmony that leaped out into his ears. Mrs. Valentine was hitting his arm and looked above to his daughter.

"Was that you...singing?" Mr. Valentine stared in disbelief.

"...I can also act." Cat whispered. Mr. Valentine scratched his head still in disbelief while his wife bit her lip, not expecting that her daughter had this capability.

"Explain to me; why now you show us this?" Mrs. Valentine asked, calmly with her eyes widen.

"...Cause I feared you guys wouldn't like what I am capable of." Cat said, sternly.

"...I hate to say this but you're not bad." Mr. Valentine said. Cat had a warm delight in her grin as she felt that this confidence she has attained was actually working for the best.

"So, does that mean after eighth grade, I could go to Hollywood Arts?" Before Mrs. Valentine could respond surprisingly with an approval of this, Mr. Valentine, being cold-hearted he is said,

"No." Cat's face fell and Mrs. Valentine punched her husband in the arm.

"...Hun, did you see what she has done?...She's amazingly has talent and I never felt proud in my life as a mother till now...Cat, I'm sorry that I haven't been the greatest mother for all your life but starting now...I'm going to try...I'm going to try to support you on this...I'm sorry for-" Cat interrupted her mother as she gave her one of the most comforting hugs a mother can have from her children. She could feel her mother's grin and tears against her ear. Mr. Valentine stared at his significant other and daughter with disbelief. He shook his head and said,

"No! We cannot let her! Education is best for her in high school! Not some damn performing art shit! She can't handle all that!"

"Well, I wanna try, Daddy." Cat said.

"No! I am your father and I decide your future!" Cat's eyes starts to sting but she felt a manly hand tighten around her hand. She looked above and it was Frankie, glaring at his father.

"Frankie, why are you staring at me like that? It's hideous. Stop!" Mr. Valentine scolded.

"Daddy, I believe she deserves to go to that school. You haven't given anything to her except pain and a household full of pain! You're...an ass, Dad!" Frankie yelled.

"No. Just no, Frankie. What are you now? Being all tough now to your father, I see I see...Has your sister's acting techniques showed you what her old friend was before? What was her name...Jade? Right, Caterina?" Mr. Valentine laughed as she saw his daughter startled by the way he said Jade's name. He knew that the one of the major things that could weaken her confidence she has brought into her world finally. Jade was the only one that made her feel strong. Frankie had a twisted expression while Mrs. Valentine patted Cat's back.

"Haha, the past is biting you in the ass, huh my sweet Kitty?" Mr. Valentine roared with his laughter causing Cat's self-esteem being back to before. He knew all along that she couldn't have the power, the strength to leave behind Jade's presence of before. With whatever he knew from his daughter's past, he had the power to manipulate things to go in his way. However, his wife was finally against him for the first time in his life about one of his children.

"Stop mentioning what has hurt her, Henry!" Mrs. Valentine scolded her husband. Mr. Valentine glared into his wife's eyes.

"He's right mommy..." Cat lets her confidence falter and her mother stared at her with hesitation and disbelief. Mrs. Valentine shook her head and whispered into her daughter's ear,

"No, he isn't. Through this shithole, you deserve better, honey. Him and I just need to discuss about this. It'll take time..." Cat backed away to take a look at her mother's face to check if she was serious about this.

"Besides, eighth grade is starting next month. Just give us time. I'll try as best as I can." Mrs. Valentine smirked while her husband rolled his eyes. Cat gave her a weak smile and quickly walked out of the room fast. She felt that her father has defeated her with using the past against her. She believed for once, she wouldn't get help either from anybody but she ended up having Frankie and her mother which wasn't horrible but still, she wanted to prove herself and others she had the strength to go against what's out there. She was wrapped by the sheets of her bed as she hears her parents' arguments chiming in her ears. What was she thinking? She thought a moment that her past would stop itching her nerves. It did for a minute then it all toppled down once her father had to say her name. He just had to.

* * *

><p><em>And our love is pastured such a mournful sound. <em>

_Tonight, I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground._

_So I like to keep my issues strong._

_But it's always darkest before the dawn._

* * *

><p>She couldn't fall asleep even once the Valentine parents' muse of arguments was finally settled down. She realized that she couldn't really leave the past behind her as she knew that the past really touched her soul before. But as the moon glistens throughout the dark skies, she was yet to try again to bury down the past. Put away Jade for once again. Just try; maybe. But at the same time, she had to admit that she likes to think about Jade and her warmth. To Cat, she thought Jade symbolized strength to her. She assembled a theory that maybe if she could think about the positive motives of Jade she could had strength; just maybe. But once her mind drifts to the current situation between Jade and her; well, if this is a situation at the moment if she knew what Jade has been going through, that it'll make her undertake the departure that weakened her. Just maybe thinking about her positively, strength will unite with her. Just maybe not thinking about what has happened in middle school between her and Jade, it'll make her feel not weak. But she cannot since as soon as she feels the positivity that radiates it's warm to Cat, she wants it to be real once again till she realizes Jade isn't here with her. Jade is nowhere to be found. Jade is either dead or alive. Jade is either attaining happiness somewhere else.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I am done with my graceless heart.<em>

_So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart._

_Cause I like to keep my issues strong._

_It's always darkest before the dawn._

* * *

><p>Another night all alone at Jade's apartment. She again suddenly stares at the blades the scissors possesses. But this time, she refuses to listen to the demon within her. At some point, Jade was vulnerable enough to have this power to go against the demon. She sits at the ledge of her bed and still carefully studies the blades of the scissor.<p>

"Enough. Enough." She whispers to herself.

"I must not start to possess weakness. I must not attain anything that will falter my ground. I am done...No, no. Not done with life...even though I feel as if it has been for the longest of time. I have to start taking care of myself decently..." She says to herself.

"Okay, Jade. Just think about Cat. What would she think? She would think the same as me...She would trust me on this...So I shouldn't break her trust if she's here, correct?" Jade questions to herself.

"Right...So tomorrow, just start thinking...of positivity...Ew, hate that word...Anyways. Yeah...Don't think about Cat as much unless I feel the need to in case I feel so...drowned out...okay...Thinking about Cat makes me feel somewhat strong. Just believe, Jade...Believe that you'll be okay...Why does my thoughts like to invade all that's left in my happiness at night..." Jade wondered. She heard a light knock on her bedroom door.

"Come on in..." Jade said. Out appeared her mother with a beam on her grin.

"What's up, Mom?"

"Hun...uhm. So, what do you think about going to a...performing arts high school?"

"...That'll be...fantastic. Why already thinking of my high school career?" Jade's mother lightly chuckled.

"Just thought it'll be good for what you're aiming for already in life, dear."

"Where to?"

"Oh..That I'm not sure...You'll see for yourself. But I bet you'll be wonderful there, honey!"

"Haha. I suppose so...can't wait, I guess.."

"Trust me, hun. I bet you will be." And with the sound of her mother's assurance and facial expression, Jade awfully wondered which performing arts school will she attend later.

* * *

><p><em>And given half the chance would I take any of it back.<em>

_It's a final mess but it's left me so empty._

_It's always darkest before the dawn._

* * *

><p>"So, Jadelyn West.."<p>

"Please, don't say my full name. Especially the last name." Jade sneered.

"Ah, family problems? Divorce?" The stranger asks.

"We just had our first meeting and now, you're already asking me these damn questions?"

"I'm a therapist, Jadelyn. That's-"

"Jade."

"...I'm a therapist, JADE. That's my professionalism."

"Yeah yeah and the reason why I turned myself in."

"What made you motivated to speak to me?"

"...I just wanted to get better, in a way. Wanted to get away from my mother for once..Wanted to express what I had to express that's been hiding within me...you know?"

"You do know, I have to tell your mother about this."

"You do know that if you do, I will not pay you some money that I have in my wallet and slit your throat."

"...How much?"

"Twenty per hour. So twenty once a day...Whenever I feel like coming in."

"I see, I see. Well, are you staying here for the hour since I have another client coming in an hour later?"

"Yeah sure. Why not? Here's twenty..."

"...Alright thanks. Now...discuss what has been troubling you..."

"Hah. Well let's see; to answer your question from before, yes my parents are divorced and my father resides at the west coast, Los Angeles. I have problems with my temper as I even knocked out one stranger out in a concert I went to before. Also, I even cut myself before and I don't want that to occur again. And sometimes, I wonder the cause of this loneliness is that I'm uncontrollably attached to my best friend since elementary." The therapist wrote down in his pad of lined sheets of papers as she explained her issues.

"So this best friend...a boy?"

"A girl."

"A girl, okay. So tell me more about her...what's her name...history...? Anything about her you would like to express? And by the way, do you have any contact with your father? And your mother also with your father?"

"No, I haven't contacted my father ever since I left Los Angeles with my mother. I don't think my mother has...not that I know of. The girl's name is Cat."

"...Cat?"

"...Yes, believe it or not. I'm not a illusional fuck."

"...Alright first thing is first, I think I need to put on relaxing music for you...to explore your mind and emotions...no cussing either, Jadelyn."

"Jade."

"No cussing either, Jade." Jade nodded her head as he corrected himself. As the music escapes from the speakers, Jade was ready to put everything in words.

"Cat was my best friend. And I could...go on how wonderful of person she was to me. She really made me happy and without her, I really would be so lonesome. In fact, I have been ever since I left Los Angeles. She makes me feel...that everything in the world will be okay. That everything is beautiful even though I pretend I don't think the world is beautiful. Once she's around, everything really is beautiful...but once she's gone, just the world is so hideous. The world has always been hideous and so looked down upon by me by her not being there for me anymore..."

"So...she generally made you feel happy? Yes?"

"Mhmmm."

"Explain more...what happened between you two? Tell me how you two's bond were so strong cause it seems like you had a strong bond with her to me..."

"Okay...well..." Jade exhales and explains the stories that would still be a big deal to Jade no matter how infinitesimal they would be. She explains her life with Cat in it the whole time until she explained what has occurred in middle school before. About the fight between her parents; about the divorce that led to her moving out of the state without saying Cat a goodbye. Even before she left, they were in a heated argument that Jade didn't like to speak about but she had no choice. She had to express what she felt and what happened. She explains the rape that happened last year and it surprised the therapist that she is still standing strong from that horrible event. She starts to discuss later about how wonderful and supportive her mother has always been to Jade. She even explains the nights where Cat would sometimes haunt her and of course, her dreams. As soon as she was done, she got up to get a cup of water near the therapist's desk and drank. She sat back down and studied the therapist's facial expression and what was he doing as he wrote down random notes of Jade's explanation.

"Jadelyn?"

"...Jade."

"Oh, my mistake. Jade...if you had the chance to see Cat again and speak to her again, what would do and say to her? That is if you really wanted to obtain that chance..."

"More than anything in the world, of course."

"What will you do?"

"...I'm...not sure. Hug her...hold her...tell her I'm so sorry that I haven't talked to her for two past years...cry..."

"Would you let that opportunity fly by?"

"No!"

"You sounded a bit terrified with your response a moment ago, Jade."

"That's cause I am and I fear that she wouldn't want to speak to me and be who we were before..."

"But what if she needed that? What if she misses you? Do you have her number?"

"No, I lost it once I went to the airport and my mother never really had any contact with her parents."

"Bummer..."

"You see why I'm here."

"Would you take anything back?"

"Yes, and that was not speaking to Cat as much before I left and wanted my mother to have custody over me."

"You would of been dead if she didn't have custody over you, Jade."

"If it's all for Cat, I would still of done it but I didn't thought it through once I found my father was cheating with my mother."

"How generous and sweet of you, Jade."

"Heh."

"You do know that whatever has occurred, it's suppose to be done like that. It's meant for your life like that."

"So you're humbly stating that my life is meant for Cat to be not in it anymore."

"Haha, no. Who knows? She might come back to your life anytime sooner or later. Maybe this distant relationship...at some point, is something that life is teaching you that between the two of you, you love her and let's you see what would life be like without her around."

"...I guess...I don't know...It's more like torment than being lectured."

"Jade...I just want you to hold on. You said, your mother is going to enroll you into a performing arts high school?"

"Yes."

"...You know, there's one in Los Angeles, Hollywood."

"Too expensive. She wouldn't afford it."

"Ah. I was just about to say that maybe you can move back and try to find her there if she still is there by all means..."

"Haha, that would be a nice try but even if I moved back, I wouldn't dare to look for her. She's probably busy being happy with something else."

"Hmm..." A knock suddenly came upon the door.

"Oop. Must be another client, Jadelyn"

"Jade...JADE."

"Right! Sorry, Jade. I'm glad I have you here in my business and will always be looking forward to your visitations. Just let me know in advanced when you can come in, okay?" Jade nodded and the therapist handed her his number as she took off. Once she was on the streets of Manhattan, she wondered,

"What if I really moved back to Los Angeles?...Are the chances possible?.."

* * *

><p><em>And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.<em>

_So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road._

_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope._

_It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat._

_Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me._

_Looking for heaven, for the devil in me._

_Well what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me._

As eighth grade progressed, Cat and Jade tried as much to get their minds off each other. Jade's secretive therapist named, Ronnie, kept helping Jade move past through the days. Jade's eighth year of education has been a bit stressful but she still gets through even though she had the chance to stumble down from all the weight the world has given her. Cat was very impatient within her as she wait for a response still from her parents to approve or disapprove her to go to Hollywood Arts. On the outside, she tried to appear in her usual joy charisma no matter how much it hurt to wait. Jade awfully wondered what would happened if she moved back to Los Angeles. Damned if she did and damned if she didn't as she believed. Cat was itching to know her parents' decision to let her go to Hollywood Arts and if she didn't or if she could gone, damned her both again! She didn't want to be unfortunately alone going to a new high school of course. She would of gotten Frankie but Frankie wasn't performing art material at the moment. So she got a hold of Robbie and Andre. Andre was a musician at his best and Robbie...with the help of Rex's humor, she believed he would get in with Cat. Besides, the boy likes to follow Cat around and is very easily seen that he has been quite attracted to her. Cat never thinks of Robbie that way though and I don't think ever.

Nights would be very difficult for the two still. It's of course, when they are interrupted by their disturbed thoughts of longing for each other's presence. No matter how much the two's strength of forgetfulness is being put into place, they'll be over powered by the memories they've cherished. But as the sun shines, they're both ready to endure the feeling of dread. It's very rarely that these two could feel overly content with themselves. Although decent, the two still just want to be embraced by each other. Cat was ready to suffer if she gets rejected by her parents to let her go achieve her dreams. Cat was also for the longest of time, hoping that rejection wouldn't come into her father's mind again. She would usually study her father's facial expression every day to see if he made the decision. Sadly, she couldn't detect anything. Jade had always suffered on the inside and when she wants to express, she would call Ronnie that she's going to visit his office even if he was closed. She hoped that Ronnie would cure her soon enough but she believed that only her best friend, Cat, possess that power.

With all the weight these two has been carrying, they both hope that whatever the future holds for them will be decent and well. It'll be meant to be as they thought; whatever it held out for them.

* * *

><p>In a way, Cat and Jade are getting better? In a way? We shall see...<strong>If you want me to update quickly, you gotta keep those reviews running. The positive reviews motivates me to keep writing.<strong> Haha. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter...this long ass one that is.


	12. Tomorrow

Author's Note; I might update again on Thanksgiving. I'm not sure. I would say that this chapter is a bit of a drag. Not really the best as I rambled through this. Hopefully you will enjoy...Giving credits to Tablo's Tomorrow lyrics featuring Taeyang. Bit of a twist on here. A bit.

**Disclaimer: Do I own Victorious? NO.**

* * *

><p>Ch. 12; Tomorrow<p>

_You got someone's love, that doesn't mean you have it._

_You keep walking, that doesn't mean time passes._

_You keep breathing, that doesn't mean you're alive._

Halfway of eighth grade; Jade's therapist, Ronnie, wasn't helping the fragile yet strong child as much as he did before. His office was always busy and even though Jade tried to go at closing time, he would leave early. Eventually, she learned that you have to face the world on your own by this but that doesn't necessarily define that she should always as she sometimes loathe to be independent. Her mind drifts onto a figment of her imagination; generally meaning Cat. Jade had no clue what was going on with Cat, of course. She had no clue if Cat has finally let her mind go through puberty. She had no clue if Cat is still the same person she was right before she left. So she uses this figment of her as the Cat she knew from the day they first met. Knowing Jade on the outside recently, she still pretends the happiness everybody else has attained in the world. She speaks to herself that she has forgotten all about Cat but she knows in her heart, she's lying as she would always reach a thought of Cat at least every two hours. She strolls through this path, through the sidewalks, through the school halls, through the streets, pretending she's decent enough to manage what occurs in her mind and reality. People assume Jade is just being the crude person she is, without knowing the fact that she isn't content with anything for the past several years.

After school, she usually settles herself in the corner of the school library by finishing some homework and reading anything that catches her eye in the book shelves. But in one particular day, a young attractive boy she has never seen through the halls of her middle school went up to greet her. His name was Eric and he acted as a gentlemen towards her but still, Jade was rather suspicious on why he was conversing with her and how did he even spot her. Everyday now and then, Eric would take a seat next to her and Jade would either scold him to go away or just painfully ignore whatever he was saying towards her. Whenever the boy was just done talking to her, he would just be polite and say, "Thank you", in a sweet tone and leave. Jade has already put Eric on her mind as some peculiar guy that's probably wanting to "get it in" with her. Afterwards, Jade would magically see this boy appear at the school halls recently; starting to walk to the same direction to her classes then after she made it to her class, he would turn back and go to what it seems like his own classes. Automatically, she would create a prediction that he's starting to stalk her and now, she's starting to come to the conclusion that this guy is a maniac. After school, Jade was heading towards the school library and there, he saw Eric standing near the desk she was usually seated; looking as if he was going to tell her something. Jade went up to him and set her hands on her sides,

"Okay, no offense, Eric..?"

"Yes; the name's Eric." Jade rolled her eyes as she starts to believe this boy was already itching her nerves. Jade spat out straight up,

"No offense, Eric, but you have been really creepy lately. Even the first time we met since. I mean, you're a sweet guy as I drop in and out of our somewhat conversations that I usually don't speak into. You seem really generous to me...unlike people here but you know what? The main question is that; why the hell are you always near me when I'm around?" Eric gulped and nervously said,

"Because, I find you as a very intriguing person with a few words and rather...attractive..."

"..Ok-Okay. Have you even seen me since like the end of sixth grade?"

"No; I'm a new student this year and I just...really needed someone to talk to. I don't have that much friends here at New York. I reside from San Francisco." Jade twisted her lips.

"Ah, I see. You just need more friends."

"Well, yeah...I only have a brother here at this school to hang out with and yes, I usually hang around with him but he was trying to persuade me into doing something today..." Eric gradually stood closer to Jade causing Jade ready to punch him in the balls in case things gets more out of hand for her.

"...What is that he was trying to persuade you into doing?" Jade inquired.

"..Well first, I'm sorry I have been acting really strange. It is highly unlike me; I'm being honest here, Jade. Usually, this is all new for me once I try to confront a girl with this...I was trying to recognize you and try to get to know you more cause well...I'm..." Eric look down to his shoes and looked as if what he's about to say would come out wrong.

"Spit it out, Eric."

"I'm attracted to you."

"...What..."

"I said I'm attracted by your appearance. I don't know...I really think you're gorgeous and I really would like to get to know you more...But if you don't want to that's okay..." Eric mumbled a few more terrified words and Jade's reaction the whole time was being struck by lightning.

"...I am not really sure what to say to this. This is all too sudden, you know...I don't even know you as much..."

"Oh no! That's okay. I know it is...That's why I already said I wanted to get to know you more...and that maybe we can hangout much more?..Ack, it's okay, Jade. You don't have to feel bad about this-"

"Nah. Sure thing. I could get to know someone new...I mean, I really don't have any friends at this school since I came here which was end of sixth grade." Eric's grin appeared and Jade actually thought that he was actually quite attractive.

"Really? Do you have any homework to finish off?" Eric asked.

"No. I suddenly do not, haha. Where to?"

"Do you want to go...to the park near that coffee store that's two blocks away from where we are?"

"Yeah...why not." Eric extended his arm out to the doorway and Jade quickly walked into that straight direction. As the two walk out of the school and onto the sidewalk, Jade thought,

_I could use someone for a while...No matter how awful that sounds. _

The two were almost close to the Coffee shop where the park was near by. Jade kept glancing at Eric as he was staring above the blue chilly skies. There were still left out snow remained on the buildings and the ledges of the sidewalks. Even some were planted on the grasslands of the park they were entering. The trees' branches were covered in snow and also the entrance through the construction playground were even covered in a few of the winter's last presence. Eric sped up his pace a little and kicked off some of the snow that were planted on the grass. As he continued to doing this motion, Jade was looking out of the horizon of the white powdered hill, thoughts flash-backing into Cat; thinking that Cat would probably roll down the hill and push Jade into doing it with her. She shook the thought away as soon as Eric touched Jade's hand to take a seat on the grass. She sat but wasn't too close to Eric as she never really felt anything for him. As soon as Eric started to converse, she actually started to listen in; to get some background story of him. He starts to ask her questions about herself but she usually closed in herself when he asked the most personal questions of her. She would lie the most part; as she didn't want him to know the real her. She couldn't afford anybody to know the real her. The only real her that anybody could own and attain would be Cat; crazy as it sounds. Jade wondered that by this motive she has been doing is because she's afraid nobody will accept who she is and accept that she is broken from someone she has cared most out of the world. Eric was a real sweet guy; sure but he would always give some redefined tension between them. So much discomfort for Jade but she planned on taking advantage of his presence so she wouldn't be lonely on the outside. Within her, loneliness will always live there and be alive. The more Jade lied about her life towards Eric; the more it seems that Eric is more attracted to her. The only few things she hasn't lied to him was what her passion was in life; cinematography and drama, and her parent's divorce. No way in hell would she want to talk about Cat towards him as Cat was her sensitive spot. Jade started to believe that Eric wasn't necessarily one of the creeps you encounter through out your life sometimes. He used to be antisocial and now, tried to let his confidence go; and it went to Jade. She somewhat felt awful for him but she just couldn't feel any attraction with him. He could be caring. He could be generous enough to get her whatever pleases her; she could take advantage of all that. But the thing is that; he isn't her best friend. He doesn't know who Jade really is. He doesn't know that the past built her life now misery and somewhat content (from reminiscing the way old memories). He doesn't know Cat. **He isn't Cat.** As he kept his mouth flowing with words, Jade was zoning out and was distracted by the birds flying out of the branches. Distracted by the thought what would it be like to have her soul be so free from all the vines misery has caused. Distracted by the definite happening if Cat was here, Cat would probably chase the birds that were flying around the park until she tries to catch at least one.

* * *

><p><em>Baby there's no, no tomorrow.<em>

_I'm still exactly the same as then._

_The time stopped right at the last moment._

_However, it's just the past to you._

_Baby, there's no, no, no, no more tomorrow._

_Till you come back; everyday is yesterday._

_Baby, there's no, no, no, no more tomorrow. _

Several weeks has passed and it finally made Eric come to think that he was actually getting more closer to Jade. Not even an inch he was that close really though. Eric did treat Jade right and everybody in the school thought they were a couple but Jade wouldn't think that what they have is a relationship. Cause a relationship wouldn't be so lifeless to her; so it must really not have been. Jade didn't have any intention to be generous to him back but it made her feel guilty for taking advantage of Eric. Eric thought that Jade being so hasty with her words towards him was how she really was. Whenever he tried to hold her hand and those certain moments where he finally grasped onto her hand, she slips her hand away. It was Jade's first time being in a relationship and so he thought was that she was too afraid or too shy to do anything physical. But of course, he was wrong. As each day rolls in their lives, there would be moments where Jade would loathe to see him. She thought of telling him that between the two of them will never work out because Eric's lack of knowledge of knowing her. She thought of to take an end in this but she didn't want more drama to occur in her life so she just stayed with Eric for the several months. Whenever she sees Eric, she doesn't feel any emotion for him; just someone who she just orders what she wants and they'll get it, like Eric was her servant. Whenever she sees Cat in her dreams, her heart feels light weighted. Sometimes, she just wishes to discover the solution of why Cat does this to her. When she thinks of Cat, her heart goes on a raid. When something reminds her of Cat, her heart sinks down into a ocean of misery. When she sees Eric's eyes, she pleads her own soul to tell him the truth but at the same time, she still wants to keep going. This has possibly be one of the hurtful motives Jade has ever done to someone. She believed if she told him everything in truth wise, Eric would be incredibly heart broken. She couldn't afford any of that but once she comes to the realization that she's not going to go to the same high school as Eric, she has a chance to tell him. But she wants to save all the tragedy for later. She just doesn't know how later to tell him the truth but once she kept reminding herself that whatever she has been doing was guilty, she is on the rear end of telling him and ending it. Besides Eric, the life of the young West is the same. Nothing felt any different with Jade towards her life. She goes to Ronnie's office at least once a week to express what has been happening with her life every week. At least he listens; but he doesn't give her advice as much. Jade just plans to figure things out on her own and just expresses it to Ronnie whenever if he approves of this or not. Although with the issue of Eric, he highly disapproves this for Jade and thought it was unhealthy for her character; causing her to look bad in other eyes'. As the light and dark passes through Jade, everything was neutral for her. Nothing was any different unless a certain child has came back alive into her life. But she thought the chances of that were very low. So throughout the several months, she endures pretending who she isn't (besides towards Ronnie) towards everyone who is involved with her life. If only Cat was back in her life, everyday would be the new Tomorrow-land for Jade.

* * *

><p><em>The memories which were tearing my heart apart.<em>

_They're now ripped off the calendar._

_They're fading as the year goes by._

_I pretend to live forgetting you._

_My world is still same, only there's no you._

_They're telling me that afterwards, I will smile recalling the past._

_For me, it's not even easy to raise my head which was facing you._

Cat was being drowned by her own tears as she thought tonight would be another night for her to be swell; without any reminiscing of Jade. But before all that occurred, Cat decided to clean the room which she was strictly told to do to begin with by her cruel father. As she joyfully clean all the dust in the top shelf she had and arranging all the children's book she had within the shelf, a wrinkly picture was swiped out to the carpet floor. Curious, she hopped out of the chair and sat down as she picked up the deceased looking picture. It was all folded and so she unfolded all what has been folded. With all the creases that formed, it was a picture of Jade smiling her widest and Cat felt herself smiling her widest also as she rubs the picture out to release all the creases. Cat gets up from her chair and walks to her bed to lay herself down. She stares at the picture for a good ten minutes until her face was drowned with tears. She hugged the picture and placed it on her chest. As soon as she was going to say something about Jade out of her mind, Frankie knocked on her door. Cat mumbled through out her tears,

"C-come in." Frankie gradually opened the door and saw his little sister laying there, lifeless. He closed the door as he got in and went up to his sister's bed. He carefully picked up the picture as he noticed it was laid onto her chest and flipped it back to see what was she crying her heart out about. As he saw the visual, he began to frown as he knew his sister was too hurt again from being reminded about Jade. He started to place his fingers on the bottom and top of the picture. Cat starts to realize what was Frankie going to do and screamed,

"No, Frankie!" Cat's screech caused Frankie to startle, dropping the picture onto the floor. He picked it up quickly as possible and said,

"Why? This is one way to forget about the past!"

"But..I want to cherish it, Frankie!" Cat sat up and faced her older brother. Frankie was so confused with what Cat's plans about Jade was. She wanted to forget but she wanted to cherish? Frankie just couldn't really apprehend all this.

"Sis, I really don't get that you want to forget about her but at the same time, you want to cherish and be reminded about her?" He held the picture in front of her face as he stated. He saw her biting her lip hard and he spoke,

"You were doing fine...until now. She was fading away as your mind was so longing to find the approval or disapproval of Mommy and Daddy! You had something to keep your mind off of her, right?"

"But sometimes at night, she always comes back into my mind, Frankie! I can't help that! You've never been through with someone who has always had your back when the going was getting tough. You've never been so intertwined...with a person that possessed all that hidden care within them! The only person that was I first to be noticed who I really was! I've tried so hard to pretend that she never had any existence but how can I not? So frustrated as it is!" Frankie furrowed his brows,

"You're right; I may have not. But I've always have gotten your back, Cat. I've always noticed how amazing you are once Mommy gave birth to you!"

"But Jade was so different, Frankie! You don't even understand..." Cat starts to breakdown in her own tears but Frankie lifted her chin up.

"You have to view the past as a positive side, sis. You have to smile about this as it was over. I believe she has made you who are now."

"How can I smile when the agony of her leaving before is still pinning me down till this day? My own soul was pretending and I thought I was doing great till I found that!" She pointed her index finger to the picture of Jade. Frankie was left speechless for a moment but before he wanted to speak, Cat cut in,

"Every time I open my eyes sometimes, I see her but it's all an illusion...Have you ever felt loved, Frankie, by someone who had the time and care in the world for you? I raise my head and there she is. But it's all of my imagination! I never felt secured until she came and now that she has left for the past two to three years ago, I don't feel secured one bit. You made me feel temporarily secured but...with Jade, it's like she knows when I'm in trouble or when I need her. But she doesn't now since we haven't even contacted with each other! I just wish...she could come back." Frankie stares at his sister with no words left in his mouth. So instead, he embraced his little sister and rubbed her back as she let the tears come running down. She mumbles to Frankie,

"I come to the realization that I'll be different than this if Jade was here. But I won't even know if she still is alive in this damn earth..."

* * *

><p><em>Why do they keep talking even though I don't wanna hear them?<em>

_I'm staying here,_

_Don't say that tomorrow is the new day._

_The morning will be darker than the night with you._

_Don't say that after a storm comes the calm._

_The calmness will be more anxious than the worries with you._

_Everything is a mess._

_It's spring again to you but my seasons don't change._

_Even though my heart blossoms, I've got no tomorrow._

* * *

><p>"Cat, I really believe that the past strengthens you and encourages you to become braver and better."<p>

"Bullshit, Frankie." Frankie still rocks Cat with his embrace as Cat still continues to let the tears wet his Pajamas.

"Maybe you can-"

"Don't say another word as you're trying to speak something uplifting for me when you know it won't work for me, Frankie. I don't want to hear any of that...I'm sorry for being hard headed but I just can't."

"You know what they say...there's always a tomorrow."

"But my tomorrows are usually one of those nights I own and they tend to be haunting as it is at the moment." Cat's depressive remark made Frankie not find the words to say. He couldn't think what to say and now, he wishes he didn't come here in the first place cause he hasn't done a single thing good for her right now but his sister really needed him.

"I have as I wake up tomorrow, it won't be swell." Cat whimpered. Still no response from Frankie as he knows that whatever he says might sadden more of Cat's emotions.

"...You should go, Frankie. I don't want to keep you up all night." Cat patted his head while giving a weak smile to her older brother.

"Are you sure...I could stay till you fall asleep?"

"It's okay. You can sleep next to me if you feel worried about me." Cat assured. Frankie nodded but he contemplated to stay with his little sister. He crawled onto the bed to the other side of bed where the other side of the wall was facing. He gave the picture to Cat,

"...Want to keep it by you while you sleep..?"

"Sure.." Cat set the picture on the desk beside her. The two siblings laid next to each other. Frankie was the first to have fallen asleep and Cat stares at the picture till her eyelids falters.

* * *

><p><em>It's a dead smile which is empty inside.<em>

_They say I look even better than when I was with you,_

_That they can stop worrying about me now._

_But I can't breathe._

_This smile cannot deceive me._

_I became normal,_

_I emptied my heart a lot because it became a burden._

* * *

><p>"You look so much happier and prettier whenever you smile, Jade."<p>

"Are you saying that I'm hideous when I'm not?"

"Why do you seem to notice the word, "prettier", instead of happier? That wasn't the point I was trying to state here."

"Because you said so." Ronnie sighed heavily,

"You know what I'm trying to say here, Jade."

"I know. Just fooling around with you, Ron."

"But seriously though, Jade. Once you smile away the pain, it'll numb it!"

"Then I won't feel a thing."

"Exactly!"

"Even if it's a fake or weak smile?"

"As long as you try to. You would look happier and feel happier about this outcome of your life! It really does reduce your sorrow; scientific studies right there, kiddo."

"Sometimes, I feel whatever modern scientists discovers is bullshit."

"Sometimes. But I really do believe it works once you try to increase that movement."

"Can I just hold my breath while I do it for the longest time as I smile?"

"No. You need to block out all that negative energy, Jade. This is going to be superbly healthy for you!"

"With this false happiness, I don't think I can manage a breath anymore." Jade's eyes darted around to all of Ronnie's art posters all over the room.

"What are you trying to state now, Jade..." Ron rubs his temples as he says this.

"This weak smile I have gained or if it even is a smile, is nothing but a mirror for people. My smile shows them their happiness. What smile I wear doesn't symbolize me. It cannot deceive me, Ron." Ronnie sits there motionless as she pauses her speech.

"Sure; I'm normal around Eric and all. Sure; I'm normal with my mother. I have a very stable relationship with her. I am generally a lie to Eric and he doesn't even know that. If only I could just put my heart into waste and restart again..."

"I have forgotten all about that young boy...You don't just say that, Jade. You have a purpose to live! Every individual does!"

"God, it's such a cliche to say! What if I want to start over and gain a new purpose in my life? Can I just die and reincarnate into someone else?"

* * *

><p><em>I'm going crazy.<em>

_Stop telling me your consoles because I don't want to hear them._

_They say that the cure of love is another love._

_The meeting will be more lonely than a farewell to me._

_They say that the time fixes everything._

_The life will be same as if I'm dead every second._

* * *

><p>"No, Jade! Please don't say that. It isn't really healthy for you to say."<p>

"So as I live! Whatever I'm doing isn't healthy at all!"

"But you are working on it along with my help."

"Whatever. What am I doing here?"

"You ask me. You were the one who came to me first for help."

"Yeah, yeah. I needed help. And I'm standing before you now that I need it. I need to heal faster!"

"Time will heal you!"

"Cliche, Ron! Cliche! You should know I'm an impatient prick. But what if I don't want to forget about her? Time will not fix anything for me trust me as I reminisce everything she has done for and with me before all this."

"Now, you're bringing Cat again into our conversations?"

"Because she is one of the causes to my loneliness! You're suppose to endure that along with me."

"Yes, I know. I apologize. But we must discuss something important as that though."

"What is that?"

"What are you going to do about Eric?...The poor boy doesn't know what he's been dealing with. And he doesn't even know that you've been lying to him all this time..."

"I don't know. I'm sorry, okay? I'm trying to figure out what to say..."

"For the past three months, Jade?"

"Well if you were in my shoes, Ron, would you really straight up tell the truth?"

"Yes...on the first day I have met that significant other. I will tell them." With Ron's remark, it seemed to have slapped Jade in the face. She felt a burn on her cheek.

"Stop making me feel guilty. I'm trying...It's just...I need-"

"You're taking advantage of him, Jade. This is unlike you. What would Cat say about this?"

"Oh so now you're using her as a way to make me think clearer?"

"If that's the only way to."

"She would be disappointed in me, probably. And tell me to feel what is best."

"So what is best?"

"..To tell him the truth."

"I would of done and thought of that a long time ago."

"...I don't know. He just isn't...her."

"Jade, can I ask you a personal question?...I just want to know how you react to this."

"...It depends...what is your question..?" Ronnie uncomfortably shifted in his seat and coughed out,

"Are you bisexual? Because the way you talk about her...it's like you're in love with her or something." Jade's expression was overall shocked with a mixture of amusement. She hasn't really thought of that; in fact, she has never really identify herself. She loathed labels and thought it was unnecessary to just plainly say what you were by just a label. She shook her head,

"I hate labels. I don't believe in sexual orientation. I hate that."

"You didn't answer my question."

"...I don't think so...I love her a lot. But close friends love each other a lot...right?"

"...Right, right. Sure. Just making sure how you responded to this...It isn't really a big deal...Anyways...have you ever even tried to get through Eric? Make the relationship worth it?"

"...You're talking to a fourteen year old that's getting to her fifteenth year here."

"You're not into romance, aren't you?"

"No. I honestly don't think he can get my mind off of Cat. I honestly don't have any butterflies from him. I honestly don't feel any emotions for him that are more than friends. I honestly don't love him. Anything with neutral feelings and nothing special is all the above for what I think of him."

"...Sometimes, I really wonder if you're in...You know what, never mind."

"What is it, Ron?"

"..Nothing. I'm just having...a reminder of myself that I have to do something after this."

"Heh, You're a liar."

"Haha. Sure. Anyways, how is it even like meeting him or talking to him?"

"Neutral. Nothing is different. He is head over heels with me."

"That is absolutely terrible."

"I'm sorry, okay?...Trust me on this; I feel horrible yet neutral with this situation. I don't want to try with him. I have many reasons that I have stated before that I may not want to continue this in quotes, 'Relationship'. I'm even not going to the same high school as him and my mother is telling me that we're moving somewhere after eighth grade."

"Ah, where to?"

"That I don't even know. She was very neutral about it and she just told me were moving. Without even saying a destination where."

"Strange.."

"Where ever it is, my life will still be the damn same. Lifeless and useless. I wouldn't even call this a life."

"Jade, you need to stop speaking like that. I told you to block out all that negative energy!"

"Well the negativity is radiating right into my mind everyday and I can't control that."

"Yes; I believe you can."

"No." Ronnie rubbed his face with his hands and as he finished, he looked up to Jade with her flushed yet frustrated expression.

"Before you leave Jade, I want you to tell Eric the pain and lies you've caused to him. This will not look good on your character but the sooner the better. Just think of it as...what if Cat was treating you like this? And you didn't have any emotions for her?"

"I wouldn't dare to hurt her like that if I was ever with her."

"What are you saying here?"

"If I was ever in a relationship with her...as strange to think about it...uhm, I really would try not to hurt her. She's different, Ronnie."

"...I see. Well, as I said, tell him the truth. I think you will hurt the boy enough already...That's the end of our meeting today, Jade...Just do what I want you to intend to do. It's almost graduation, correct? Eighth grade to high school? In the next two months?"

"Yes...Thank you for making me realize that. Shit..."

* * *

><p><em>You got someone's love, that does not mean you have it.<em>

_You keep walking, that does not mean time passes._

_You keep breathing, that does not mean you are alive._

* * *

><p>"Caterina, dear?" Cat was sitting on the dinner table, the last one left of the family to finish eating. Worried, her mother restates her name again. She shook her daughter once more for her attention.<p>

"Hmmm?"

"Are you done eating?"

"Yeah.." Cat pushes the plates to her as her mother was feeling a bit concerned.

"Is there something bothering you...?"

"Yeah...When are you going to tell me that I can't or can go to Hollywood Arts?" She lied. She thought about Jade once again but didn't want her mother to know what she was battling with on her mind.

"Soon enough...I'm sorry. Daddy's been a wreck. I'm trying as best as I can. Be patient for once more, will you?" Her mother pleaded.

"Mhmm..." Mrs. Valentine crept upon her and embraced her body.

"I love you, honey...I hope you know that. Just hold on...And don't ever let go what you want in your life."

"Mffff." Once Mrs. Valentine let her daughter go and picked up the following plates, Cat went up the stairs to go to her room. She drowns herself in the sheets that were provided in her bed. She sits up, leaning her head back to the wall behind her. Impatient started to itch her as she knew that graduation was coming real soon for her school. If only Jade could just attend to her graduation, that would make the best of her life so far. Her eyes crept upon the ceiling as she prays for a miracle to occur in her life as so far her life has been down the drain.

Jade's eyes crept upon the ceiling above her also; praying for a miracle to happen. Hopefully, the performing arts high school she'll go to would be a fantastic opportunity for her and an uplifting opportunity for her career of choice. Hopefully, she'll be fine there. Hopefully, she'll get the shit over with Eric. Hopefully, over there, Cat could be pop into her mind less than now. But she knew she wouldn't let that happen.

* * *

><p><em>Baby, there's no, no tomorrow.<em>

_I'm still exactly the same as then._

_The time stopped right at the last moment._

_However, it's just the past to you._

_Baby, there's no, no, no, no more tomorrow._

_Till you come back everyday is yesterday._

_Baby, there's no, no, no, no more tomorrow._

_Till you comeback everyday is yesterday._

* * *

><p>"Peter, could you please pay for her tuition? You said you're in it for your child."<p>

"She didn't want custody by me. How the fuck would I let her-"

"PETER! You love your daughter, don't you?"

"Yes before you two fucking left!"

"That's not true at all! You do know, that I'm just enduring this conversation for her! I need the money for her. I already paid for the air fare tickets to Los Angeles. I already looked for a house online and I found the perfect one that is financially stable for the both of us. So could you at least please help out and let her go to Hollywood Arts?"

"I don't want my own daughter to waste her time and life there!"

"God, if I could only just choke you right now, Peter. I swear...You have seen our daughter's talent and I don't want her to put that into waste! I don't want her to not show it. I want her to show everybody what she was born with and who she is. She's outstanding, Peter. If you can only do this, I won't ever bother you anymore. Just please pay for her freshman year and then once I'm financially stable with the home, I'll start paying through out her high school career by her sophomore year!"

"...Fucking fine. I'll do it. Only because you have been on my nerves for the past few months from your constant calls. I'm scared that Cassandra will think I'm cheating on her-"

"Yeah you think about her as you don't want to cheat yet you cheated with me. You know, you are so-"

"This isn't about us. This is about Jade."

"Why did you even mention...Fuck it. Just I'll call you eventually later when the time comes, okay? You really don't have any clue how much shit you're daughter's been through."

"You never clue me in."

"You never checked!"

"Well, I'm sorry! What is that I have been missing for the past two years of her?"

"If you promised me to not flip the fuck out, maybe I will."

"I won't; I promise. Just tell me...To be honest, I miss her."

"I know you have...Just don't kill me as I tell you what has happened to her, okay?...Wait before I explain, have you ever seen...what's her name...Cat lately?"

"No...Why?"

"Oh, just wondering. She's sort of one of the reasons why we're moving back to Los Angeles. Only for Jade."

* * *

><p>As I said earlier, I rambled through this but I really hoped you've enjoyed. Reviews? Positive ones, perhaps? Aren't you guys excited? They're almost close to seeing each other. Heheheh, unless if I'll be an evil person and have a twist to it. Later!<p> 


	13. Until Whenever

Author's Note: Holy damn, this took a decade. I lied about how chapter 11 I believe(?) was the longest chapter of this story. This chapter is. Sorry, I haven't update in the past few days cause I was procrastinating on this and kept on stopping between paragraphs as I typed this story. But here it is. Giving credit to Big Bang's Until Whenver lyrics. NOW READ TILL YOUR HEART'S CONTENT!

**Disclaimer; Yeah I don't own them I get it. I don't own Victorious...Dammit, Dan.**

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><p>Ch. 13; Until Whenever<p>

_I avoid the warm gaze watching me...I keep crying..._

_You know my heart, will you wait?...I keep lying..._

* * *

><p>June of 2008; In just several weeks, graduation for Cat and Jade is arriving fairly soon. Cat is still left with no response about being admitted to Hollywood Arts and so she felt not much amount of hope as she watches her father being his grumpy usual self. Cat appeared patient enough but on the inside, she just wants to stomp her way into her parents and ask them directly if they're going to let her attend Hollywood Arts. Fair enough, Frankie was still by her side at all times and costs but he spoke less as he knew that whatever he was willing to say that would try to heal Cat in her troubles won't rarely work at all. Andre's grandmother and Robbie's parents let the two of them get into Hollywood Arts and it made Cat felt very envious with the wonderful opportunity that her friends have attained. But at the same time, she felt very proud of her friends and ignored her jealousy. The two boys already auditioned for it and the deadline for the auditions was going to be held at July 15. She felt that she should demand for her parents' response or not since she wanted to be perfect for the school councilors in her audition and whenever she thought of the deadline, she itches to just scream at them from her being so impatient for the past several months. But who could blame her? Sometimes, she believes that her parents had better things to do that possibly made them forgotten all about Hollywood Arts. So much for importance of her career of choice than whatever her parents have been doing. Ever since Ronnie told Jade what her intention should be towards Eric, her mind refused into doing so and kept taking advantage of him. Ronnie already suspected this of her right after he told her to do it for her own good. He hasn't given up once she told him that she just couldn't break Eric's heart. Every visitation she intended and every conversation between the two of them, Ronnie would always remind Jade to admit Eric what has been going on with her. Now, it's already several weeks until Jade leaves for Los Angeles (which she doesn't even know that she is moving back there yet). With both hands that her life has given her to choose and use; the right hand to tell Eric that this so called relationship they had was a waste of time and a lie, the left hand to actually keep it all to herself till she moves away and save herself from tragedy between the two of them from never occurring in reality. But in the tip of her mind, she knew that sometimes, the past mistakes could bite you back in the ass. At some point, her anxiety of telling him would be so increasingly high that she starts to cry from this pile of frustration of the anxiety and fear of what his mind is capable of once he knows about her lies. But she contemplated on the wisest decision which is to tell Eric the truth.<p>

There remaining are seven days till Jade moves; Graduation is six days away. As Eric gazes at Jade with sincerity while they have walked around the school property after school, Jade wears her lips twisted. She decides it's time to admit her false tale of the Jade that Eric thought he fell for. Eric started to converse about his day with Jade while the restless anxiety crosses and stays under her pale skin. She starts to rub her fingertips as he shifted the conversation to Graduation. He took Jade's hand and walk her to the bench that was in front of the school. She still fumbles around with her fingers as he still starts to discussing about what high school he was attending to and pondered what it would be like. As soon as he finished, he flashed his eyes onto Jade, with her head hanging down. He frowned and said,

"I know it's going to be hard between the two of us...I mean, it was a good relationship we have, right? Hopefully the high school you're going to is going to be amazing and still be around here."

"...I don't think it's going to be around here. My mom informed me today we're moving out of state somewhere. I just don't know which state though.." Eric's grin gradually faded more and more into a concern expression and he brushed her hair away of her face.

"..Oh, is that what you're being all mopey today?" Jade's eyes tightens.

"...No-"

"It's okay. Maybe long distant relationship could work out? Web camming? I don't know?"

"Eric...I need to tell you-"

"I could buy a new laptop and we could start from there..." Eric let his lips running as Jade sat there motionless. She tried to cut him in once; no use. But the second time caught Eric's attention.

"I lied." Jade said with a monotone voice.

"..About what?...Oh! You were lying that you were moving out or something? Haha, good one, Jade. I thought really-"

"I lied about myself, Eric." Eric stopped speaking as soon as she said she told him she lied. He slowly shifted his weight next to her and let his eyes crept on her face.

"...What do you mean, Jade?" Jade's eyes tighten more as she could sense already the betrayal and disbelief will be invited by this conversation. She sat herself up but doesn't take a granted look at Eric. She postured herself with a calm poise and said,

"...I lied to you the whole time. I'm really not who I really am from what I've been telling you, Eric...I never felt any...feelings for you. I am not rich. I am not the kind of girl that is always positive. I am not the kind who is very romantic; but that's probably only to you as I don't feel any emotions for you. I am not the kind who really jokes around as much; all the things I've said that were cruel were true and real. I don't like the music you like. I don't have any similarities with you at all. I lied when I told you that I'm usually this laid back, that I'm not a liar, that whenever I'm hasty towards you, it's not because I'm the type who is always in a hurry; it's because I don't think I can take much longer to be with someone who doesn't know my past, who doesn't know me...I never had a very content life before as I stated before to you...I never really told you about an event that almost traumatized me...I never told you about my best friend that has made me feel...very uncontrollable emotions...I never really thought of you more than a friend...I never really...wanted you...Whatever I've said was an enormous amount of lies but the only several things I have not lied about is that performing arts; drama is my passion in life and my parents' divorce..." The wind was pouring in as she ended. She felt the atmosphere with a burst of discomfort and a possible chance of eruption. She refuses to look at Eric in the eyes as she told him what she should of said several months ago. She rubbed her fingers again as she could feel Eric's eyes studying Jade. He was speechless and motionless. She took a heavy breath,

"...I know you're feeling betrayed...I know this is a lot to take in...I'm a fucking horrible person for speaking these lies to you for the past months...You could...scream at me if you want." Eric still sets his gaze upon Jade. For the past five minutes, all he could do is just let his scrutiny take it's own course. Afterward, he started to speak in a angered tone that startled Jade,

"...So for the past months, you've been lying to me?...You've...of course! You've taken advantage of me! Indeed, you're correct about yourself; you're a horrible fucking person but you forgot to left out selfish person! Why didn't you tell me the truth? I wouldn't have wasted my time with you as you knew that you were wasting your time on me! What happened that effected to who you are now?"

"I'm sorry. Yes, I am a selfish and yet horrible person but no fucking way in hell, will I ever tell you what has happened to me before. It's my own personal problems as one certain problem I don't want to say is still effecting me now!"

"This is all bullshit. I can't believe I wasted all my time and heart on this."

"Are you even sure you can say that? Don't say you're in love with me and take back those, 'I love you's' you would always say to me."

"Most definitely I could take all that back!"

"I'm pretty sure you never did. This fling we had meant nothing to me to be honest." Jade's expression from saying this was so hard and sterned.

"You're really a bitch you know?...I cannot believe this is actually happening. Why didn't you tell me this anytime sooner?"

"Because I was afraid...I didn't want drama to form more into my life."

"Selfish. Just utter selfishness. You could of saved it if you told me way before all this!"

"I'm fucking sorry...You don't need to take my apology but I've been trying for the past months to tell you this. I just couldn't find the strength and courage to admit this."

"Can I just ask you a question though? You have to answer it. I don't care how personal it is."

"Fine...I could do something for you for once in my life..."

"I want to know what hurt you. I just want to know."

"Why do you want to-"

"I just want to know who you really are. I want to know who I've been dating." Jade's lips clasped shut with one another. As she starts to formulate all the thoughts together, she gradually says,

"...You've dated a person who has been through a split of life. You've dated a person who had so many near death attempts that could occur in her life. You've dated a person who is still emotional for the past. You've dated a person who can't let go of what has been affected. You've dated a person who has truly disguised herself as someone she isn't. You've dated a person who is emotionally attached to the one person she has always loved and cared since first grade. You've dated a person who will always love and care for that person in a probable longest of time since that person had created directions and inspirations towards her life. You've dated a person that looks at the earth with her head down."

"...Okay then...I bet that person you've cared about a long time ago is probably your first lover or some-"

"She's my best friend. You have no idea how much she means to me and my departure of her; either she's heartbroken or not, has killed me till this day. You have no idea how much agony I've been enduring for the past several years without her being around and I, not being around her." Jade's fist were smashed shut as she finished, listening to what would Eric say of this.

"You must really love her, Jade. You sound like it. But that's none of my fucking business since you've already killed me now for the past several months."

"All I could say and do is to be sorry and say sorry..."

"And I don't need to take that apology. I'm glad you're moving out."

"As am I."

"Farewells; don't even think about coming back to me." He motioned his hand in front of her face.

"I beg to differ." Eric stood up without looking down at Jade. He turns the other direction and walks to where ever the sidewalks lead him into. Jade sat on the bench motionless, getting off of the emotional roller-coaster she's been on for the past ten minutes with Eric. It's done with him; without any remorse. But the agony of her reminiscing will always extend itself within her; will never be done for her. With all that has been said of Cat, she sometimes wonder from long ago if Cat remembers her promise to Cat. Whether or not, Jade's emotions couldn't decide if it's feeling guilt or the feeling of longing something most. Has Cat even have the memory of what Jade has promised to her? Jade scoffed off of thinking of her own theory towards Cat's mind and just sits motionless on the bench, waiting till the sun fades itself off of the skies.

* * *

><p><em>Oh baby, don't cry, lady.<em>

_Don't forget that promise of ours._

_I'll take care of you until whenever._

_No matter how sad I am...I can only laugh._

_Even though I'm tired and hurt...I can only endure._

_Even if you leave...I can't catch you._

_Even still, with your trust we can only be forever._

* * *

><p>"Hey Kitty Cat...?" Frankie stares at all the debris in Cat's bedroom and as he comes to gaze at his little sister, he discovers her weeping in the corner. The whole room that was once organized and all plastered with stuff animals were all spanned across the carpet floor. Before Frankie sensed that the mayhem was happening upstairs, he thought he heard Cat screeching her cries. It was true as he studies the redhead, bemoaning her miseries. This wasn't the first time Cat acted insane; she had much more times where she randomly breaks down crying. That all started once Jade and her start to grew apart. Jade knew about this before also as she would always be the first to apologize to Cat for her behavior or their fight but Cat would refuse and assume that it was her to apologize. As Frankie sees his little sister rubbing her eyes, he walks to her gradually and embraced her body.<p>

"...Another mental breakdown?" He whispered as he rocked Cat back and forth.

"..Ju-just another flas-flash back of mine.", Cat hiccuped. She felt Frankie's breath in the corner of her ear.

"...Did it had to do with Jade?" He felt Cat pitching a breath as he knew that the fragile child had a difficult time to speak.

"Ye-yes." Frankie's eyes compressed. Cat let go of Frankie's grasp that was laid upon her and she motioned her eyes above to Frankie's face. She believed that Frankie was starting to get weary listening to and being there for Cat. Frankie lend in his ears and hands so much for the past years and she thought it was best for him to not be around for just one time.

"You don't need to be with me, Frankie. I wore you out and I don't want you to get-"

"Cat, stop. I want to be around whenever you're feeling down. That's my privilege as an older brother. I don't want you to face this alone...So tell me, what did you flashback on? What made you cry?" Cat's teeth grabbed a hold of her lips and she fumbled around her clothes with her wet fingers that her tears were dropped upon. As soon as she obtained back her memory and thoughts, she started to stutter,

"...Re-remembered when Ja-Jade promised me some-something that mumm...maa...ma-made me like thi-this." Cat pointed her finger towards all the mess she has made from her mental breakdown.

"What do you mean?" Cat exhaled a loud sigh and vented another hiccuped,

"She pr-promise me before...that she wo-would always be th-there for me...even when she isn't around...do-does that ma-make any sense to you, Fr-Frankie? Ev-even when she didn't feel ha-happy. She even said that when sh-she went off some-somewhere. If sh-she mo-moved. Does that make an-any s-s-s-sense?...She-she said once that as lo-long we trust each other through the har-hardship and ob-obstacles that blocks our way, she said she'll always c-c-care and be th-there."

"...Explain, Sis." Cat clasped her eyes tight and soon as she regained the memory once more, she let the memory speak itself.

"...Can I tell you how we first met?...It all started in First grade...She was a new girl, remember from before? Maybe I should explain from the beginning..."

"Of course, Cat. I remembered a bit of how you two met when you told me that one day but anything that will keep me informed about this...and the cause of all your cries..."

* * *

><p><em>The day when the sunlight was warm,<em>

_The day when we first met._

_I, who looked like a fool drenched in sweat,_

_Still remember, "You shine more than anyone else",_

_This one girl said as she picked me up._

* * *

><p><em>The sun was gazing upon Jade's face and Caterina couldn't help but stare at Jade when Jade tilts her head up to the sky. Another first impression of Caterina that I've forgot to mention for Jade was that she always thought Jade was really pretty...Shit, her eyes are very intensive and even when you know Jade flashes a fake grin, it's so gorgeous so I couldn't blame her. The sun beamed on Jade and surprisingly, Jade got up and walk up to Caterina to sit next to her.<em>

_"Hi. What's your name?" says Jade._

_"Caterina..." says Caterina, shyly._

_"Oh...that's a pretty name."_

_"Really? You think so?" Cat beamed with joy that freaked Jade out._

_"...Yeah..."_

_Silence sneaks into their atmosphere again. Outcast meets outcast. Jade starts to play with her fingers and Caterina plays with the stick that was beside her._

_"...I never had a friend before..." Caterina says sadly, out of the blue._

_"Me too..." Jade responded. Another silence comes._

_"...Do you want to be my friend?" Caterina breaks the silence._

_"Mmmm okay...I don't like how long your name is though." says Jade._

_"What's that suppose to mean!" Cat shrieks to Jade._

_"Uhm nothing...Can I call you Cat? Cat seems nice and I like cats."_

_"Oooo! I love kittens! Yes! I have a friend now! I have to tell my parents!" beamed Cat. Jade starts to feel a smile coming and she never thought that her emotions of happiness could appear on her face. They talk about a variety of things they both liked; some were menacing to Jade, some shocked Cat, and most of the time, they enjoyed each other's interests and their first presence. _

"_Jade? May I tell you something?", Cat exclaimed as she twirls the ends of her hair._

"_What is it?" _

"_You look really pretty...You should smile about that." Jade showed a small grin and with that, it showed how content she was whenever Cat was around. But then, her grin gradually faded._

"_You really think so? Nobody has really told me that ever..." Jade mumbled her words as she was drenched with anxiety but also, with curiosity. _

"_Yeah." Cat sweat out the blush from her sincerity and the heat of the sun, blazing onto their faces. Jade kept her glances at a slow rate as the silence reformed again. She whispered as she never thought her generosity would radiate to Cat,_

"_You are much more prettier than I am though...You're pretty...I..", Jade points to herself as she gives in a weak laugh._

"_...I am a monster. My family would say." Cat gave a surprised expression on her face._

"_You don't seem like one. But if you are then, I'm starting to think monsters can be pretty, also. They can't be always ugly." Jade let out a light laugh as she thought Cat's perspective didn't make any sense to her._

"_You're really weird but I think we are going to get along well, Cat." Cat forms a pleasant smile on her face with the pressed dimple at the side that was close to her mouth. Jade always find that her dimples were one of the best physicality features she was born with and would always find it portraying innocence and of course, how adorable it will always be that she always give in to it once it appears. _

* * *

><p><em>From that moment on, <em>

_One year, Two years; Time passed steadily._

_All the memories we experienced together,_

_Went by in the blink of an eye. _

* * *

><p><em>Third Grade;<em>

"_Cat, I really don't think we should-"_

"_It's going to be fun, Jade!...And people thought you were evil." _

"_...Okay. Whatever people say about me, like me being evil for example, should scare them. And I said earlier that this is silly whatever you're pulling me into...you made me all up for this. What did you want me to do?" Jade snarled as her hands were gripping on the glue container that Cat gave to Jade a moment ago. _

"_Robbie and his puppet were being so mean to me, Jade...And I thought bringing you into this would make you think this is fun." Cat whispered as she was on the verge to cry. Jade gave a stern stare at Cat, patted her head and said,_

"_...Right. I should do this since nobody should really hurt you. I'm sorry, Cat. I forgot what was this all about...And you're right that I'll be able to think this is fun...What was it that I should do, Cat?" _

"_...Put glue onto Robbie's chair." Jade smirked once Cat said her plan in what Jade should do. _

"_Another thing I like about you is that you sometimes can be mean to people.", Jade implied as she pressed her fingers onto the container to let the glue ooze out onto the chair. _

"_Only if I want to...and think they deserve bad thingys to happen to them." , Cat replied as she dart her eyes the directions of where the glue came from. Once Jade was done setting the glue on the chair, the school bell rang to inform the children that lunch recess was over. Jade gazed above the bell as it rang then shifted her gazed onto Cat. Jade winked as Cat clasped her hands tight._

"_Do you think we'll get caught?", Cat said, in a worried tone. Jade shook her head as she went to the desk where she and Cat were usually sitting at._

"_We won't." Cat still appeared with her worried eyes as she followed Jade. She sat next to Jade and the two both waited for the whole class to come in the classroom. Cat toys around with her hair and glances as Jade._

"_What if one of us gets caught, Jade?" Jade set her eyes on Cat that it burned Cat as Jade studied her with assurance. _

"_If you get caught, I'm going to take the blame. I'll let them blame on me." _

"_What if they don't believe you, Jadey?" Their classmates were already entering the classroom and Robbie and Rex came in that caught Cat's eye._

"_Then I will go with you to the principal office. I promise. If one of us gets caught, the other will go along with them also even if the teacher wouldn't blame one of us. We always go through whatever together, right?", Jade whispered as she reached for Cat's hands to intertwine with. The teacher hasn't appear to the classroom yet, oddly. But as soon as Robbie sat down on his chair, he felt a tinge of a sticky yet very chilly feeling on his rear end. _

"_Roooobbbie, you okay?" Rex exclaimed as he looked at Robbie with concern. Robbie's face appeared flushed as he looked behind him and then, set his gaze onto his pelvis. Cat bit her lip as she felt the anxiety rushing in while she overheard Jade trying to hold in her snicker but knowing Jade, she couldn't hold it all in as the snicker left out some of itself from her mouth. _

"_Yo, Robbie? What's goin on?" Rex said, as Robbie kept trying to figure out what the odd feeling was caused by. Robbie stood up and leaned in front that the desk and chair which were attached together flipped him over that made him face the back of the desk and floor. His rear end was still glued onto the chair as it was above him. The whole class looked at Robbie once the sound of the desk flipping over and saw his face planted against the floor. The whole class was roared with laughter and Jade finally let out her loudest laugh while Cat shrinks down into her seat. Jade noticed Cat, gradually shrinking since their hands weren't intertwining anymore. She shook Cat's arm and told her,_

"_Why aren't you laughing, Cat? You wanted this. He was being mean to you, remember?" _

"_I guess so...", Cat said as she was still slumped over in her seat. _

"_Aw, Cat. Don't feel bad for what you've wanted...You said he deserved it." _

"_I know..."_

"_Laugh, silly." Jade gave Cat a light punch in the arm causing Cat to carefully join in the choir of the laughs that the classmate caused. The teacher came in once she heard the class being so evidently loud. She follows the points of fingers and gazes from the children were directing to. She saw Robbie laying there, flat with his rear end stuck onto the chair. What caught her eye the most was Jade. She knew that all of the children in her class, someone like Jade would do such a thing. With the way she laughed, something about her made the teacher believe all the horrible events that occurred within the classroom would be caused by only Jade._

"_Jadelyn West! You did this?" The teacher roared. The room remained silent as the children heard the eruption their teacher caused from her voice._

"_...Yes. Yes, I did." Jade stated, calmly. Cat's eyes motioned to Jade's face as she felt the thunder of the way their teacher said Jade's name electricuted her causing her to feel everything was all a shock to her now._

"_Principal's office, now!" The teacher pointed out to the door. Jade rolled her eyes and as soon as she got up, Cat stood up with her and said,_

"_I was a part of it too." Jade looked at Cat like she was insane but this shouldn't surprise her as she always knew Cat was strange by the insane motives she does with and without Jade. _

"_...Cat? You were a part of this? You don't seem-" _

"_I was." Cat cut in with a sad tone. The teacher sighed with disbelief but she still let the two companions go to where her finger was pointing at. Cat held Jade's hand as the two strolled out of the tension back at the classroom. As the two visit the principal office, Jade kept taking glances on Cat._

"_Cat, you didn't need to do this." Jade whispered._

"_Like what you said earlier; if one of us gets caught; either you or I, we would still go together to the principal office. We go through everything together even when we're not a part of whatever we have done like always." Cat gave a light-weighted smile as her assurance was being placed onto Jade's hands. The two enter to the office waiting room hand-in-hand as they wait for the principal to invite them him into his office._

* * *

><p><em>In that place, between you and I,<em>

_Blocking and standing up against,_

_A wall full of hypocrisy._

* * *

><p><em>Fifth Grade;<em>

"_Cat! Wait...Wait!", Jade ran down to chase the tiny brunette through the playground structure she was sprinting towards outside of the school's boundary. Jade could hear Cat running out of breathes to take as she ran to catch up to Cat. Cat was starting to get her asthma in return again and she halted as she was trying to regain her breath again. It was no use that Jade finally caught up to Cat, with her constant inhalation that notified Jade that Cat needed her inhaler. _

"_Cat...Cat...Hold on. Where's your inhaler?", Jade said as her breaths pitched in her words. Cat nodded and closed her eyes tight as she felt as if her lungs was tightening her chest. Jade flared her nostrils as she left her with disapproval of giving her inhaler._

"_Cat. I am not going to leave you like this. Your inhaler is in your pocket, isn't it?", Jade yelled once she set through her hand in Cat's pockets. She found the bulk of it in one pocket and got a hold of it. She took off the cap and inserted the small tube hole in Cat's mouth. She implied,_

"_Breathe, Cat. Breathe." Cat inhaled all the puffs coming out of the inhaler as Jade presses the top to release the medicine. After a minute, Cat's constant breathing stopped hitching and she gently pushed Jade's arm to assure her she's fine now. _

"_Cat...Look, we need to-"_

"_No! Why were you acting like those kids that were bullying me around five minutes ago?", Cat questioned with disbelief. Jade frowned and put her inhaler back into Cat's pocket._

"_..I'm sorry, Cat...Okay, I was a big jerk back there but at the same time, I wanted to protect you from them so I played around so they could finally leave us alone."_

"_You're a liar, Jadey. You say horrible things about them to me but later, you go around with them to talk bad stuff to the other kids...You just want to be popular, don't you?", Cat exclaimed as her fists were up in the air._

"_No! Why would I want to be?", Jade implied as her fingers were already gnawing on her sides._

"_To be normal!...You said before being normal was always stupid and that different and out of the ordinary was special. You were special and aren't I special?"_

"_...You'll always be special to me, Cat...I'm so sorry I was acting like this for the past few weeks.", Jade whispered as she loosens the clench that was laid on her sides._

"_...How am I suppose to believe you?"_

"_...Because you mean a lot to me, Cat. I'm sorry I've been acting as someone I wasn't. You're the only true friend I ever had in my life right now and I should of thought of that instead of just being around those guys...I don't know what's been going on with me. I just thought it would be nice to try to be with them for a bit. But they were controlling me around that I didn't even have the time to notice one of the most important things I have right now.", Jade leaks out a small voice as she says this. She turns around to look if anybody was watching them from behind; nobody was there to be seen. Cat crosses her arms,_

"_And what is that?" Jade shook her head and told Cat off,_

"_You." With that, Cat's eyes lit up but at the same time, she was feeling a bit angst to believe her._

"_How am I going to believe that...", Cat trailed off. Jade chirped in to say something that will mesmerize her mind forever,_

"_I promise you that I'll take care of you until whenever, until whatever forever may be. I promise I will, Cat. As long as you promise me back...? I know I haven't been treating you right but I need you...I really do cause you're the only person that makes me feel safe with myself when you're around as I am to you, right?.." Cat didn't hold her disbelief anymore and agreed,_

"_Yeah...You're right...but what about bad...thingys will happen to us? What if you're not around when I need you most?" _

"_Don't you say that, Cat. I'll always be around...no matter how angry I may be or sad I may be; any feelings I'm having when you come up to me from a fight we're having or whatever issue you're having. No matter how tired I am. No matter how hurt you and/or I will be, you have to come up to me as I will come to you. Even if I leave off to some place that you and I aren't able to see each other, I'll be around...I just need your trust in this, Cat.", Jade chirped in a very calming tone that swayed Cat on the inside. _

"_No matter what out of all those things...? But would happen if we aren't talking as much anymore once middle school comes...", Cat lightly murmured. _

"_No matter what...If we don't talk as much, well damn us both. I will still love you anyways", Jade let out a light laugh at what she has said. But as soon as she stopped, she came back with her serious expression,_

"_..Just need your trust, Cat. I'll always love you and be around you. No matter how hesitate I can be." _

"_You too, Jadey. I trust you on this...And I promise you this in return.", Cat grimaced. Jade wrapped her arm around her shoulder and the two went out of the non-school boundaries once they heard the school bell rang to go to class. _

* * *

><p><em>Mid-year of Sixth Grade;<em>

_Although I like you, I can't approach you._

_When I see your pure eyes, I am afraid._

_I'm scared the world will snatch you away._

_I ask for that beautiful smile to not change,_

_you are so-_

* * *

><p>"<em>What's up, Kit Cat?", Andre said as he swallowed his lunch away and stares at Cat, rumbling through her lunch while at the same time, watching Jade. Andre turned his head to the side as he felt what he said was just an echo in her ears that she didn't bother to listen. <em>

"_Hey...Cat..", he yelped. Cat couldn't stop her gaze upon Jade while Jade was talking to one of her own friends. Cat saw Jade laugh with the group of people besides her. Once Andre kept calling her name, Cat sneered in a irritated way,_

"_What?" _

"_Wow, Kitty. Take it easy...I was trying to ask you what's going on there?", Andre spoke. _

"_Oh..Sorry...I was just..spacing out.", She frowned as she lied. Andre nodded as he didn't knew that she was thinking about Jade and watching her every movement. Watching Jade with a happiness that are shared around with other people made Cat envious but she wanted her to be happy and didn't want to ruin anything for Jade. As Jade's glowing eyes sneaks a peek into Cat's eyes, Cat looped herself with fear and sets her gaze downward to where her lunch was at. She thought she felt the shadow that was over her was the shade of the building behind her but she realized that the lunch table Andre, Robbie, and the other kids were sitting at wasn't under a shade. She shifts her gaze upward and saw Jade with her bashful intense eyes. Jade had a small grin she formed as she sat herself in front of Cat. Cat's gaze was too attentive that she didn't even listen through what has Jade was speaking about to Cat._

* * *

><p><em>You are so...beautiful, girl.<em>

_You are more valuable than those jewels._

_You are like a wound that will embrace the young and delicate._

_I don't want to hurt your pure heart.._

_Pray, shut your eyes and ears,_

_I'm crazy over you._

* * *

><p>"<em>So, you got that all in your head, Cat?", Jade said with a light shove she put on Cat's hand. Cat swiveled her head and questioned,<em>

"_Whaty?" Jade rolled her eyes and said again,_

"_You got that all in your head?" Cat turned sideways at this but realized that the reason why she wasn't listening was she was too busy focusing on Jade's face._

"_Got what?" _

"_That I have to hangout with other people today to do a project after school...", Jade groaned. _

"_Oh!..Yeah..right..right.", Cat nodded._

"_...Didn't you remember we were suppose to hang today after school? I promise that after that, I could come over. Probably sleep-"_

"_No don't worry! I have plans for myself also! Uhmmm", She switches her gaze to Robbie as he hogs down his food. She grips on his biceps and blurted out,_

"_Robbie and I are going to hang today!" Robbie's eyes darted aimfully on Cat with wonder and confusion but Cat hit his sides which choked out his food._

"_YEA..Oh yeah..." Jade's eyebrow lifted at the peculiar response but she felt herself frowning. _

"_Oh okay then...Well, have fun then...", Jade remarked as she got up out of the table._

"_..You too, Jadey!...", Cat blurted once more. As Jade vanished, Cat set a fist on her cheek as she always thought lying to Jade would hurt Jade and herself also. _

"_So, we really are going to hang out, Cat?", Robbie wondered._

"_...Yeah. With Andre though, right Andre?", Cat implied as she tapped his shoulder. Andre nodded. The boys were still consuming their own food as Cat gradually lost her appetite. With her lost, she toys with her food around as she thinks of Jade. She didn't want to take away Jade's time with other people cause she would consider herself selfish enough. Secretly though, she was growing to become insane over Jade on the inside. She just thought that Jade would think of her acting silly or having the chance she was going to be angry. She just asks at this moment now as she could notice Jade's hair glistening over the side of her eyes, to be who she was before. To keep the Jade she always loved. And with all the thoughts forming, she just started to believe that she's gaining a crush on Jade...Insane as it sounds. She kept that and everything else to herself without Jade knowing till the argument they had was risen from the day before she left. That was the start of her gradually fading from Jade as Jade being around with new kids also was making their connection deceased. Her unknown departure made it even worse for Cat as it increased her mental breakdowns whenever she was with herself. _

* * *

><p><em>Oh baby, don't cry, lady.<em>

_Don't forget that promise of ours._

_I'll take care of you until whenever._

_No matter how sad I am...I can only laugh._

_Even though I'm tired and hurt...I can only endure._

_Even if you leave...I cannot catch you._

_Only with your trust can we only be forever._

* * *

><p>"Wow...Now I see why you and Jade were so close, Sis.", Frankie said as Cat ended her story. Cat could feel her lips trembling once she finished from her reminiscing. Frankie rubbed his fingers on her cheek and lips then embraced her again as she cried out.<p>

"Has she even remembered her promise as did I?", Cat muffled through Frankie's shoulder through her soft weeps.

"..I'm not sure, Cat. But somewhat, I think she still does...but I don't get how all of a sudden, Jade was slowly fading away from you...", Frankie wondered.

"I don't know...And it hurts to think about it.", Cat whimpered as Frankie rubbed her back.

"...Maybe she was feeling the same as you?"

"How, Frankie?"

"Well you did state that whenever you had other plans, she would either frown or get angry."

"But that's how Jade is." Cat lightly got off of Frankie and leaned her head to the wall.

"...Maybe. But there's always a reason why she acted like that. We all have a reason on whatever we're doing or feeling.", Frankie suggested.

"I guess so...I can't even believe that I sort of am attracted to her in a way..", Cat said as she let out a nervous smile. Frankie swiveled his head at this and said,

"You have a crush on her, sis? Aw." Cat could feel the heat of embarrassment ignite within her and her face was as red as her hair.

"...Maybe. Yeah. Okay. Sure. You have to admit she's pretty...I mean, the more farther we have gotten the more it got to me that I started to have a bit feelings for her more...That was one of the things I've hidden from her. Cause she would probably flip out...", Cat trailed off.

"I don't think she would have by that time. She would be surprised and shocked but I don't think she could get angry at her own best friend...", Frankie said.

"I guess...but that's all over now. She's gone and she isn't even...contacting me. I don't know. She probably forgotten all about that promise..."

"What would you do if she was going to Hollywood Arts with you?", Frankie pondered.

"...I think I'll be numb for the next several weeks and can't pluck up the courage to say at least a, 'hello'.", Cat answered, gradually. But then said,

"But that's if she really moved back here and if I can get into Hollywood Arts."

"Oh right...Well...graduation is arriving tomorrow, right?"

"Mhmm." Frankie snickered that made Cat lift her eyebrow,

"It's going to be amazing for you I bet. With your friends and all..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Look you should go to bed and I'll just fix your mess here. That's cool with you, sis?", Frankie suggested as he carried her away to her bed.

"Are you sure...I mean I could help."

"It's okay. You need some sleep for the big day tomorrow anyways."

"Mfff...Probably won't be as big as going to Hollywood Arts and seeing Jade...", She mumbles. She could hear Frankie snickering once more then five minutes later, she started to feel drowsy with her eyes being swollen and fell fast asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Graduation Day<em>

"Oh, dear! You look absolutely stunning!", Mrs. Valentine exclaimed as she sets her hands on each side of her cheeks. Cat let out a light grin as she walked gradually down the stairs of the house. Frankie was standing besides his mother with his hands knotted with one another from behind, grinning at his little sister's appearance. Mr. Valentine was outside, trying to fix the engine of his car operating as they all could hear in the household.

"Really, Mom? Thank you..", Cat said, as she finished her last remaining steps down the stairs.

"Yup, Sis. So adorable you are!", Frankie said to Cat. He took her hand while her mother was behind her, fixing her red velvet gloss of hair. As finished, they all went outside to check if the car was running and the father grunted that it was okay to drive in. The family were stationed in the car and off they went to Cat's school. Cat tilted her head on Frankie's shoulders and rested on it through out the whole trip. Mrs. Valentine was smiling through her mirror as she saw the two siblings seated together with Cat nestling on her older brother's shoulder.

"I forgot to mention dear. We have a surprise for you after this celebration...Right, hun?", Mrs. Valentine said softly with a enthralled tone as she nudged her husband's arm. He stammered,

"Yeah. We..have a surprise for you, Caterina." He didn't look cheerful as his wife was but it made Cat ponder what was the surprise. Surprises were always her favorite so she expected to better not be disappointed in whatever she'll get.

"It's going to be great!", Frankie sang as he poked constantly on Cat's pale legs. She cautiously smiled to appear she was excited also but she believed it was just some of her relatives from the east coast just going to greet her or something. As they made it to their destination, the school was crowded with Cat's classmates. She spot Robbie and Andre already once she came out of the car. The two boys were waiting for Cat the whole time once they got there.

"Hey boys!", Mrs. Valentine greeted along with Frankie to Robbie and Andre.

"Hi Mrs. Valentine", Andre said in a polite tone along with Robbie.

"Big day today!...Aren't you two going to Hollywood Arts for high school after?", said Mrs. Valentine. Cat darted her eyes the other direction so they wouldn't see how envious she was attaining within her.

"Oh yes. We did the auditions already. We're excited! ", Andre said with a chipper tone.

"Ah, I hope you get in...Don't you think they deserve to get in, Cat, dear?", said Mrs. Valentine. Cat glanced back at them and nodded in agreement with the hint of some emotion she was trying to hide from her mother and her friends.

"Okay then...", Mrs. Valentine then after murmured something that Cat couldn't apprehend to Frankie and Mr. Valentine. But Cat could careless till Robbie and Andre came to greet her.

"So, you ready for this, Kit Cat?", Andre exclaimed as he seemed like he was in a jolly mood to get this ceremony through.

"Uhuh...", Cat mumbled. The three walked to where the all the chairs were seated for the graduates in the ceremony that were beside the stage inside the school. The audience were a huge crowd but not as huge if you added the other students who were sixth and seventh graders. Cat was seated one of the last as her last name started off with a V while Robbie was a few rows in front of her. Andre was seated on the other side of the stage. Cat looks at the curtains and the ceilings above her, dreading this to get over with. Near ten minutes, the ceremony was going to happen and Cat just wants to go home and fall asleep. Robbie turned around to where Cat was seated and squealed,

"Caaaat!" Cat snapped out of her gaze above to set it on Robbie.

"Yeah?"

"It's almost time!...Are you ready?"

"No...Yes...", Cat trailed off.

"Hey, Cat. Listen, I know you aren't thrilled that you haven't known yet if you're going to Hollywood Arts or not but...well, I think...Oh, I'm going to ruin the surprise. Sorr-"

"Shut up you baboon! You don't want to spill the beans man...", Rex scolded Robbie. _He knows I'm having a surprise...? _Cat thought. But as soon as she was lost in her own thoughts, the microphone screeched causing everybody who were speaking to shut their mouths.

"Class of 2012!...Or at the moment, Middle school Graduates of 2008!", The principal let out a little laugh. Cat shut her eyelids closed and shook her head. _You're not funny...Get this over with already..._

* * *

><p><em>Thirty minutes later<em>

"Katrina Deleon!", shouted one of the teachers. It was already time to go on the stand to get a hold of their certificates as each student was called up. Cat was sitting straight, with a good posture.

"Andre Harris!" That shoot up her eyes as she applauded for her friend. He shook the principal's hand and as he walked off the stage, he glanced at Cat and grimaced at her constant cheer for him. Many students came on and the applaud kept rising. Once Robbie came on though, there were only a few applauds sadly except Cat was the loudest. At an embarrassing state, he quickly shook hands with the principal and power walked off the stage. Cat frowned but felt secondhand embarrassment as it seemed like she was the only person who was cheering for Robbie. More students came on the stand and as soon as the person in front of Cat was coming up next, she was drenched in her sweat of her anxiety. _Nobody's going to clap that much are they? _She thinks to herself. But as she threw the thought into waste, her name was called upon.

"Caterina Valentine!" She jerked a little but once a rise of applaud came, she had a discomfort grin on her face. She steadily walked across to the stand, got a hold of her certificate, then shook the principal's hand. She walked off the stage to meet with Andre and Robbie. As the few last students already has been called upon, the principal announced his final mini speech to the class,

"Now, let's rise and applaud for the class of 2012! Where ever their endeavors they'll be led to! Where ever the opportunity of the school they will attend to lead them in a good cause! Where ever they must go, good luck to you all as you start the path to your high school career! I have seen wonderful students in this year's middle school graduates. So, I wish them all the luck they will need! Toast to class of 2012!" The crowd was applauding with cheers and rejoice. Andre and Robbie were dancing around, arm in arm, and singing their highest vocal tone. Cat looked at them and giggled as her friends were acting silly. The parents were crowding the whole area as they tried to get to their Robbie's parents and Andre's grandmother came, the Valentine parents and Frankie also came.

"Oh congrats to you all!", rejoiced Mrs. Valentine. Cat lit out a fake grin as she remembered something that has been bothering her for the past several months. Frankie gave his sister a bear hug and said,

"Now, the surprise!"

"What surprise is it..?", Cat asked, slowly.

"Mom?", smiled Frankie as he nudged his mother. Mrs. Valentine nodded and called out,

"Dear? You have him?" Mr. Valentine stared at his wife for a moment then rolled his eyes as he remembered what he was suppose to do.

"Hey, Mr. Eikner? Here she is...my uh...golden pride and joy...", Mr. Valentine said, in discomfort. Appear a tall, slender old man walking towards Cat. He grimaced at her and asked,

"So...This is the talented, Caterina Valentine?" Cat was numb the whole time but she snapped back out of it with a response,

"Ye-yes?...Who are you?"

"Haha. Well I'm Principal Eikner. Principal of Hollywood Arts." And with that, Cat's eyes lit up.

"Oh...what are you doing here?"

"Here to analyze you. And to inform you that your audition for Hollywood Arts is next week."

"Wh-what?", said Cat with disbelief. She sets her gaze on mother.

"It took a while for your father to accept this. We've planned this as a surprise from a few months ago...Actually believed Frankie kept a secret from you. And he did. Good job, boy.", Mrs. Valentine nudged his son's bicep as he laughed.

"...So you all...did this for me? Really? You guys are amazing, really...thank you Mommy and Frankie...Thanks Daddy...", Cat trailed off as she saw his father grunting his way out of here. She shrugged as she was too busy being so content with what's occurring to her now and said,

"Can I act and sing at the same time?"

"Sure why not? Any talent provided!", Principal Eikner exclaimed. Cat starts jump around and embrace her mother and Frankie all together. Principal Eikner let out a grin and laughed as he sees the redhead bouncing around. He shifts his gaze at Robbie and Andre, knowing they've already auditioned when he came to all the list of names a few days ago for Hollywood Art's upcoming freshmen.

"Giving you guys a heads up. You two are in.", Principal Eikner stated. The two boys' eyes widens,

"Really, sir?" They both exclaimed. Principal Eikner nodded,

"Just come to orientation in early August. Nothing needed to print out as it will be printed out for you there." He shifts his gaze to Cat.

"Is she any good? Since it seems like you're close friends with her?" The boys looked at one another and Andre grimaced,

"She has a fantastic voice that will throw you off. She acts just fine. And she's adorable too so that is a plus for her. You'll see, haha." Principal Eikner nodded and said his farewells to the families. They all waved goodbye as Cat is still embracing a hug into her mother and brother. _Thank you lord..._

* * *

><p>"Well jesus, was that a party back there huh, Jade?" Jade's mother spoke in a enthralled tone. Jade chuckled,<p>

"Yeah sure. I can't believe you were one of the chaperones for the dance, Mom. Dancing around whenever I wasn't there..." Jade's mother smirked as she pointed to herself with pride. The two were home from the graduation party and the whole apartment was all clean and empty as there were boxes sectioned in every corner of the rooms. Jade's mother seated herself in the dinner table as she takes out two thin sheets of small paper that were from a infinitesimal pouch. She slowly placed as Jade took her seat in front of her. Noticing, Jade tilted her head a little and said in a curious tone,

"What's that mom...?" Jade's mother shoved the two thin sheets to Jade a little. She closely focused on the papers as the font made her feel, "is this real?". Jade's eyes widens as she sat back, in a good posture.

"M-mom...those are tickets...what...why...We're...We're moving b-ba-", Jade paused as she saw her mother's grin.

"Yep. Moving back to Los Angeles. And guess what's big for you, dear? Got you to audition in Hollywood Arts! Such a good performing arts school I've heard."

"W-what? How did you get all the money to pay for that...?" Jade asked.

"Wasn't really easy actually...Had to plead your father to get me some money only for your freshman year. I got a house for us already."

"You talked to dad?"

"What? It was the only way to get some money for a proper school for you!"

"...Wow...Thanks, Mom...in a way..."

"Thank your father for your high school. Thank me for paying for our airfare tickets and moving back to Los Angeles." Jade's mother said as she twirled her hand with her grin.

"Yeah...I would totally thank, Dad, for this..." Jade said sarcastically.

"...You should actually. He misses you."

"Over my dead body." Jade laughed while her mother rolled her eyes but laughed along.

"Well you should get up early tomorrow and sleep early today. Don't want to miss our flight."

"Yeah I should. You should too, Mom." Jade's mother bit her lip and suggested,

"Maybe you should visit Cat also...see what she's been up to?" But as soon as she said Cat's name, Jade already stood up and walked off to her bedroom. She mumbled,

"Definitely over my dead body, Mom." As the door was slammed shut, Jade's mother let out a sigh and stood up to turn off the lights. She then went over to her room to fall asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Arriving the airplane; 10:45am<em>

"I can't believe we're going back.", Jade whispered to herself.

"What was that hun?", said Jade's mother as she handed the tickets to one of the fly attendants.

"We're actually moving back...what if I don't get to audition, Mom? Then what happens here?", said Jade.

"Nonsense. You're going to get in. Strike up a monologue or show them that one video project you made back at seventh grade. You acted pretty well there and you were the one who made the script AND directed so..."

"Perhaps so...I'm a bit of a lazy ass anyways at the moment.", Jade stated as the mother and daughter walked down the aisle through the plane's entrance while dragging their huge luggage.

"Figured. Now where's our seat..." Jade's mother was scattering herself around with Jade to find their assigned seats. Once they found where they were seated, Jade had to sit in the front since her mother never enjoyed sitting next to the window.

"You could just close the window, Mom..."

"No! I'll just sit next to you but not near the window." Jade rolled her eyes and seated herself. Once the plane started igniting it's engines, Jade was rested her eyelids and let her thoughts formulate.

_Los Angeles...Los Angeles...I have missed you so...What is there to do now...Maybe check out the malls...or the parks...Yeah that'll be nice. To get familiar with it once again...Once I get home, I'll just familiarize everything...Take a walk...In Hollywood again...In Los-_

Then her thoughts start to pressure her mind more.

…_.What if Cat sees me? Or what if I see her? What would I do..._

Silence as the plane ascends.

_...Would she be upset once she sees me? Would she ignore me?...Should I ignore her if I do? Maybe...No. That'll be rude of me...Well, who am I kidding? I'm always rude so it's normal for me, haha._

The plane finally drifts a steady pace and height.

_Jade. Conduct a plan now. In case things get out of hand...but there's a possibly chance I won't see her right?...No..? Maybe...? Shit. There's a chance I'll see her, huh._

The plane's path to the skies were getting bumpy but it didn't mind her.

_What if she really saw me? Or see her? Or we see each other?...Would she remember the last time we've talked..?_

* * *

><p><em>Whenever, whenever we were together,<em>

_We were so happy, We were the world together._

_So we ran, on the dangerous road and fields._

_I, who even after falling, stood up again,_

_At the thought of you._

_Run looking forward,_

_I'll watch your back, destiny._

_Spread your wings, I'll block the wind,_

_You are the one in my life, oh like an undying star..._

* * *

><p><em>The day before Jade's departure; 2004<em>

"_I'm tired, Jade! I'm absolutely tired!...I can't hold all this in anymore!", Cat screamed at Jade as Cat was walking away from her. The two were near the tree house they've built together since they were young and were at also the park near that. The grass were itching Cat's knees as she walked faster away from Jade while Jade was walking after her. It was all in harmony and sweet before this argument occurred as they discussed the old memories they've both built together. But once they took a look at what has been happening with themselves lately, they were straining themselves and finally exhale the truth._

"_What do you mean 'can't hold all this in' anymore! Is this because we haven't had time with each other for a while? We haven't been 'us' lately? What is left of you, Cat? Whenever I try to have time for you, you're busy with Andre or someone else! I'm sick of it also!", Jade accused Cat. Cat turned around that her face that were inches apart from Jade's. Cat had an wrath expression on her face as if it looked like smoke would be flared out of her nostrils,_

"_Oh really, Jadelyn? Whenever I had time for you, you're off with Brittany and Jake or whoever you hung out with. Whenever I try to tell you my problems, you always scoff off and don't seem to appear that you have cared all along! Throughout the months, I've been in search for the Jade I know. The Jade who isn't this crude to me. The Jade who I cared about a lot. The Jade who would show her sensitive side to me. The Jade who hid herself by being cold hearted to others when really, her heart was filled with warmth. Now, I see a person who seems like a bitch to everybody."_

"_What?...I'm glad this time, I won't say I'm sorry. Where is Cat? She's always hiding around from me. You had those ugh...puppy eyes that will always be used upon me. You always say you have other busy things to spend time on whenever I ask you I want to be with you. Why are you blaming me for what has ever hurt you?"_

"_Because you were the only person I could rely on, Jade!"_

"_Caterina Valentine, I've always cared about you!" Jade stomped her foot out of anger and frustration._

"_It doesn't seem like it! Not even now; how we're alone. I don't see Jade. I don't!"_

"_Regard our promise from before, I have always kept that!"_

"_No. The Jadey I know kept that. Not the one I'm staring at."_

"_You want to start games now, Cat? Fine. Fuck our promise! You're right; I'm not that girl you knew before. Fuck, fuck, fuck, mega fuck our promise! I don't care anymore. Sure, I haven't cared all along!" Jade pauses but speaks yet again as she could feel the heat rising up from her eyes and Cat's eyes,_

"_I've been watching your back, Cat. I really have. It may not seem like it but I have. Always have. Before all this happened, the times we've spent were amazing. I honestly do miss that, Cat. Whenever those times we spent together, you and I were like a unit. Like the world together. Do you think of me when you're unhappy as I think of you? What we have been dealing with; all the secrets and hidden emotions we've been struggling with one another suffered me in a way too. Cat, you were the only one who left me with love that anybody would be so grateful for..." Cat blinked but shook her head as she was feeling a bit stubborn from what Jade has said before._

"_I don't believe that, Jade. I don't believe...", but with that said, Jade could sense how stubborn Cat was that was not clearing her mind at all while Cat was left with a tint of belief but she instead, said a lie._

"_Okay then, Cat.", Jade scoffed off but continued,_

"_Fuck what we've been through. I'm done as you will be." Jade shoved Cat as she walked out of the grassy fields. She then halted as a thought rises.._

* * *

><p><em>Baby girl, don't leave.<em>

_I can't be without you, please don't leave._

_Baby girl, don't lose your spirit._

_I'll give you a bigger trust,_

_Please don't cry anymore._

* * *

><p>"<em>Just think of it this way; what if <strong>I moved away <strong>all of a sudden? Nowhere to be found and heard. Would you be able to face the world by yourself, Cat?" But as she turned away forward she whispered to herself,_

"_Cause to be honest, I probably could not..." Jade strutted her way out of the field with pride to show the world she was fine. She was going to show her strong side, even though her mind wants to break down the armor she's built for herself. She still struts as she could hear the cries of her old friend she left a moment ago._

* * *

><p><em>Who knew a wrong mistake would turn out like this?<em>

_Who knew that you, who I lean on, would hurt this much?_

_Only an ocean of sadness and dark loneliness exists._

_I can only cry like a little kid lost in the black darkness._

* * *

><p>"Thirty minutes left to Los Angeles, folks!", the pilot announced as Jade flicked open her eyes. She sighed as she thought,<p>

_I shouldn't have been harsh to her...I could of visited her...well either way, I wouldn't have since I'm just a cow-_

"Honey, almost here. Excited...?", Jade's mother said in her enthralled tone.

"Oh...yeah.", Jade made a nervous laugh. The plane landed thirty minutes later and Jade's ears were still popping. As the plane parked, the time was 1:45pm. Jade groaned as she picked herself up from her seat and opened the cabinet above her to obtain her and her mother's luggage. The two got out of the airport an hour later as it was crowded the whole time with families and friends getting the passengers from other plane rides. They took a reserved car that was waiting for them and Jade's mother drove for the most part. The scenery of Los Angeles that were being given to Jade gave her the familiar sense of her history. Everything the light has touched was a part of her history. They passed by Hollywood Arts as it was going to be Jade's next school.

"Well take a look at that? Excited to audition next week?", Jade's mother said.

"Yeah...", Jade trailed off. After viewing it, the two went to their new home and saw that the house was enormous than what Jade's mother has expected it. As they pulled over to the curb, Jade's mother breathed,

"Holy...shit." Jade got out of the car, with her jaw lightly opened.

"Holy shit to that. What a babe this house is." Her mother lightly laughed then went over to the trunk of the their rented car. Jade helped her mother out by carrying all of the other stuff they have packed. Once they went inside, everything was empty. For the past hour, they've already finished setting in the boxes but Jade felt she needed a fresh air and a walk to release all that headache that was throbbing her head.

"Hey, Mom? Is it okay if I could walk around outside? Explore a bit?"

"Sure thing, hun. I'll be here, unpacking. Take a break...Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I think the park where you usually go back then is around here somewhere. See if you can find it?" Jade nodded and went outside. She traced the sidewalk's pathways as the more deep it has gotten, the more she seemed to be familiar with it. And the deepest was where she found the park, empty but not lifeless. As she turned to her side, she saw the treehouse her and Cat built. It was still in it's ancient remains and she smiled as she crept upon it. She leaned herself onto the tree's bark as she tilted her head back. Using all her senses her body can attain, the place was all too familiar. It was as if she could smell Cat nearby. But was that all imagination? Well, as soon as she opened her eyes and her head tilted front, she saw a spunk of red flying around. She concentrated carefully as it was irritating her vision but once her concentration was so clear and crisp, she couldn't believe what she was seeing that she turned away and walked off to home as fast as she could once her heart beat leaped so quickly. So much panic radiation flowing through her veins as she pumped a foot down. _She looks beautiful as ever even with her hair color being different than it was before.._

* * *

><p><em>I avoid the warm gaze watching me.<em>

_You know my heart, will you wait?_

* * *

><p>Cat wanted some peace alone as she wanted to have a place to think about what to audition for Hollywood Arts. She decided the only clear place for her to focus was the treehouse near the park her and Jade usually go to. She skipped through the cracks of the sidewalk as she was so joyful till she reached her destination. She kicked her way out of the dirt that she was walking upon and as soon as the grass came, she sat down. She thought of many ideas that will make her seem talented enough for the auditions and once she reached a good idea, she grinned cheerfully causing her her to twirl her head around with excitement. The red strands of her hair were whipped onto her face and then, as soon as she wiped out the hair, she saw something that caught her eyes. A person was leaning on the tree bark of the treehouse that her and Jade made. The treehouse was across from her as the person was all her attention was on now. But as she analyzed closer, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She had to lean over in order to believe what she has seen but she flipped over and landed on her face. She stood up straight right after and squinted her eyes as she gasped,<p>

"Jade...?"

* * *

><p><em>Like your friend,<em>

_Like our promise,_

_I see only you._

* * *

><p><strong>DAMN YOU TWO! THIS ISN'T A DREAM. IT'S REAL!...oh what? JADE COME BACK HERE! Oh..Oh damn, she's gone now. Nice going! Until next time, hope you enjoyed this one! Not sure when is the next update but some reviews would be nice to be left on here. Positive ones motivate me as said before. More updates the faster I'll post? <strong>


	14. Swim Good

Author's Note; Holy crap, I apologize for not posting as much this whole week. I was so busy with everything! Sorry to keep you waiting but here it is, a new chapter! This story will end pretty soon as there will be a sequel in the making. I'm guessing maybe at chapter 17 will be the last chapter of, "Whistle of the Choir". Giving credits to Frank Ocean's Swim Good lyrics. Man oh man, it's thirty minutes to midnight now. Oh shoooot.

**Disclaimer; Don't own Victorious. TSK TSK TSKKKKKKK.**

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><p>Ch. 14; Swim Good<p>

_That's a pretty big trunk on my Lincoln town car, ain't it?_

_Big enough to take these broken hearts and put em' in it._

_Now, I'm driving 'round on the boulevard, trunk bleeding._

_And every time the cops pull me over, they don't ever see them._

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><p>"It can't be her...It can't be her...", Jade pants as she paces herself along the sidewalk.<p>

"Nononono. Can't be her...No, shut up. It was her. Those brown eyes; that's her's," She still paces herself as her words thuds deeper than her heartbeat could ever attain.

"That one glance wasn't even a glance at all...That very moment within her eyes..hurt so much. What do I feel?," She scolds herself while her footsteps collides against the concrete.

"...It's guilt. That's it. From before. And it's fear also..." She consider these emotions as she embrace herself through the breeze as if winter was right around the street she was at, the street that was still only a mile away from where her heartbeat overrode.

"I knew this would happen. F-F-F-Fuck," She almost trip as she felt her knees start to weaken it's stand. She could feel how clumsy she can be by being so fierce with itself through her sensations of her trembled body.

"I can't believe it's her...I can't believe it's her...God, stop being so fucking clumsy. Fucking weak ass knee caps!" Her scolding turns into madness as her words pressured onto her. The emotions; it was the regret of containing her pleas within her without Cat's knowledge of it, a cry that screeched Jade's ears as it was horrible as it could possibly be for her once she left the traces of her feet on the field, the chances of packing all of the infinitesimal pieces of Cat's heart as it shatters slowly into the trunk of her mind, that once she looks how filled her trunk must have been from thinking and collapsing back will always strain those emotions, the chances of a deceased within the truck of her closure yet weary mind. The regret of just letting another side of herself took the wheel of her mind as it controlled the words and the corruptive taste of the venom she spat out of it as her last argument and encounter with Cat was the murderer of her happiness. The regret of her mouth corrupting what's been spoken when it wasn't even meant to be spoken. The remainder of that memory vomited on Jade as she passes by her house now. Nobody would have the dare to pound their way out of Jade's outer shell; impossible as she is bold as a rock; only Cat had the strength to tear her armor away. There was no place Jade's mind could pitch in so Jade kept pacing her steadiness through the road.

"Once I looked at those eyes, I felt as if I felt her agony", she murmurs to herself.

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><p><em>And I've got this black suit on,<em>

_Roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral._

_Five more miles til the road runs out._

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><p>"Oh, what have I done? I think it would of been easier to speak to her ever if I wasn't so demanding and stubborn to her from that trouble we had before...What if that was her?...Looked so much like Jade. Maybe I'm dreaming," said Cat, "Cause I'm that much of a lunatic to imagine all that, right? But I remember Jade would always say, 'The crazies will always be the most interesting and special', so am I special?..What am I talking about? I think I just saw Jade!" Cat uproar her arms high to the sky, her fingers felt as if it was touching the shrouded clouds.<p>

"Should of ran to her but here I am, being numbed down to chase her down. But I fear that she's either far away by now or she's going to end up as someone else; not Jadey." Jade's name tingled within her guts and tongue as Cat slipped it out.

"All my fault...What's the difference by just that moment?", Her face was filled with the desire to be found; she was lost on what to do for the moment. There, as the glistening wind drifts by, she fissured her feet on the ground and jogged to the traces of where the other half of her own soul went towards, and there, she sets her feet on the shapes of the young one that ran away from the place that radiates the memories from before. She positions in a stroll as she wore her invisible cloak of despair and fear with tinted darkness. She roams around the houses she passes by as she felt as if she could feel the footsteps of the brunette's and with each foot pressed down, she slowly hung her head down. As her cloak wraps her soul underneath, she's soon to become deceased with her motive from a moment ago. There lay the road with it's faded yellow creases as she foresaw the cracks of the roads slowly fading. The sidewalk was changing into the dark concrete all of a sudden and Cat could sense that the place inhabits unfamiliarity. She could feel the question marks shrouding her mind as she takes a glance around where she was to try to familiarize it. She still continued on with steady steps once the wind drifted by slowly; one, two, three, over again, one, two, two, two, three, three...

"What a beautiful sight," Cat breaths out as she takes another step closer, "The waters crashing down as am I now...Might as well stay here for now till Frankie and Mommy realizes I've been gone for the past hour so they'll call me and come looking for me," She tilts her head to the railing of the stairs below once she took a seat on one of the cement steps, "Oh, if only I could tell more of the truth or..not have said anything before...if only I had the power..or bravery to just go to her now. Probably far off from where I am...Probably is upset seeing me all over again..."

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><p><em>I'm about to drive in the ocean,<em>

_I'mma try to swim from something bigger than me._

_Kick off my shoes and swim good, swim good._

_Take off this suit and swim good, and swim good, good._

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><p>And if it was not for Jade's scampering about, she wouldn't have reached to the shores of the city, the city that left her a constant longing of a comeback, the city where the one she needed most was in her where abouts, but being herself, she shoves it away once she could felt that forgetting could be way easier than what it is right now.<p>

"God, I wish you never were in my life," Jade yells to the shores' music as it crashes against the sand, "Then coming back here would be so much easier! I would become much more better if only I relied on myself unlike now, my heart and mind will always rely on you for my happiness!" She cries. "If you could hear me, I have missed you. If you could hear me, I'm tempting to just swim across this sea of terror that's in front of me!" She shouts as loud as the shore deceases back to the sea then come alive again. "I wish I could just drown away you so I wouldn't feel this miserable from this pile of debris emotions I have contained after I left this damn place!" She shrieks but then takes a step closer to the shore. "Take me now." She whispers to the waves once it touched her feet. And with the attempt, the more depth of the ocean she walks in, the more shivers that reach up her spine.

Once she felt the shivers, she closes her eyelids as the waves increase the amount of water reaching up to her fragile body. Infinite. Corruptive noises went about by blowing itself through Jade's ears as the million thoughts and waves crashes down on her.

"Jade?" She stirs herself around in her mind. Ignoring whatever voice spoke to her, she gradually lets the water reach up to her knees. "Jade...? Jade? Is that you?"

"Mmmmff." Jade's voice was being a bit faint. She felt that the world around her at the moment was collapsing as she tries to get closer to the deep end, the ocean's traps, but her body was numbed down so she was still. She could feel the soft voice that was close by her against her prickly skin, trying to tear down the agony radiating her at the moment and not daring to take a look behind.

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><p><em>Got some pretty good beats on this 808 CD, yeah.<em>

_Memory seats I'm sitting on, stay heated. _

_I woulda put tints on my windows but what's the difference?_

_If I feel like a ghost, no Swayze, ever since I lost my baby._

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><p>A car passes by Cat, blazing the speakers of some blues a song had on. The beats blared among her insides.<p>

"That's not Mommy..But sure as hell, that song seems to set the mood I've been having at the moment right now", She spoke to herself as she fidgets her fingers through the breeze blowing softly. Consider all the cars drifting by would be Frankie and Mrs. Valentine, she thinks.

"What a coincidence that all the songs that are passing by me lately has to do with my mood swings...Coincidence that what I'm sitting across from right now is the abandoned beach Jadey and I use to go to when we were little and when the beach wasn't abandoned at all...Although I wonder back there, could she possibly see the agony in my eyes that caused her to ran off? What's the difference now, Jadey? Even if I hide whatever is supposed to be hidden, you still find a way to figure me out. What's the difference...", Her thoughts rises as it speaks.

"Cause I mean, for the past time..in middle school I mean to say; I've been soaring around you and the halls like a ghost...This isn't like that one Patrick Swayze movie we watched before...nor that one movie where he danced around with 'Baby'. He got someone; I didn't as soon as you left. I was a ghost to you for all the times we DIDN'T spent with each other...I became real once I confessed my misery to you that one time...and then all of sudden, you just vanished. You turned out to become a ghost also. Drifted off to where in hell paradise was and now, you're haunting me back." Strangers who were walking past Cat were exchanging looks at Cat as she was talking to herself only.

"And here I am, just gazing upon the waves crashing against the shore." She exhaled. A rippled wave toppled down and once it crashed, the sound was like an symphony to her ears. She was captivated with view and the music running through her ears so she decided to gracefully step down the stairs on the hill, where she could analyze the view in a much more closer range. She loosen the laces of her shoes and took off the shoes because the sand will probably seep through it, and as she could feel the chill of the sand, she was becoming cautious towards herself as she fear that a shell might cut her foot open, not wanting it to become an addition to the agony she's been handling, alone. And as the sand kicks itself away from her feet, she could feel the enthrallment jumping within the walls of her as her fascination was taking a bit of her breath away. If she haven't come across to thinking she could catch up to Jade, she wouldn't have remembered how this place meant to her. Water rushing through her toes already as she twinkles it around with a giggle. Cat's round, light blush cheeks glimmered through the waters as the sun radiates itself to her.

"This could kill some time." The child kicked the water causing some sprinkles of it to rise over the waves, while at some point what caught her eyes was that someone else was also at the beach with her. She stood straight as she clears the pixel of her vision she uses among her to see the person's face. Nobody usually goes here, she thought. But that person seems extravagantly glistening...No, are you serious...It is what I think it is. Cat, being her curious self, goes along the shore to meet the person a mile away from where she was, where her friend was a mile away from where she was.

"Jade?" Jade was still as her lips were pressed, as her eyes were sewed shut. At last, Cat plucks up a bit of courage raging within her. Jade was still standing still as Cat sensed that Jade was awfully ignoring Cat.

"Jade...? Jade..? Is that you," Silence as she slowly says, "Jade..?"

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><p><em>I'm going off, don't try to stopping me.<em>

_I'm going off, don't try saving. _

_No flares, no vest, and no fear._

_Waves are washing me out._

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><p>"Jade..?" Jade twitched as she snaps back into reality. She doesn't leave her eyes open though with that strong posture she appears with.<p>

"Answer me..", said Cat, "What are you doing here..."

"Leave me be. The waves are speaking to me at the moment," Jade's mouth was dry.

"What...Jade? I-I.."

"Leave me be", said Jade. The earth sat still as the other gazes upon what has built agony for her. Silence. The two both smell the ocean's aroma like perfume mingling onto their skins with it's scent, lingering where ever they would go, but Jade was still, contemplating to turn around, walk quickly back home, to where she could finally call the new home a safe haven for her right now. There must be confusion running in Cat's mind; she could feel the pulse vibrating the thoughts in Cat's head, she could sense all that by the moment they're experiencing right now. What is left to do now? There was a way to sprint across the hill to make it home. There was a faint sound of the waves colliding against Jade's body. There was a familiar scent that Jade would recall it as home; Cat's scent. She lit open her eyes and glare at the sun, bordering soon to the horizon. Her eyes then darted down. Cat stood breathing, and the more she did, the more she was trapped in a position of unknown motives. The two felt empty. There was so much to fill in their emptiness and with the two, they both hold the power for each other. There would always be enough. But Jade then turned around in a hasty movement and sprinted out of the ocean, grabbing her shoes along as she could feel her feet sinking in the sand. They had something there. They had something back there. One of them was contemplating to chase her down but the water numbed her as so she thought her courage could overpower that. The water drank her all up. Was she debating on to lose herself at this very moment? And if so, would it be right to just loosen yourself now to drift off to the sea as the waves tumbles down gradually? The water fed her in silence and it didn't let her bother to chase Jade out. The waves had eyes and mouth to her. It was no monster although but as she sees Jade running up the stairs above, she saw her turn her head back, taking a glance at a connection of pain. What was she thinking?, Cat thought to herself. The water is not able to answer that question for Cat though. The water wanted to drown Cat out but she gradually walked inch by inch out of the shore. The girl she has lost ran away from her and it was more painful than a rejection. Go on, Jade thinks to herself, Don't look back...Don't look back...This feels so wrong though. This emptiness...

If such thing, the emptiness roared within Cat's stomach and watches Jade until she fades away. She stood there with the tears burning her lungs and face, much more burnt than a cigarette could possibly could towards the lungs. The ocean was waiting for Cat and as she turned around, could she possibly give the ocean the chance to let her give in herself to the waters? But as soon as she was deciding, she saw Frankie hopping to catch her attention to come over where he was at. Frankie and his mother finally realized Cat was missing for a bit and came across seeing her as they pass by the beach. Cat stood there with a fake grin on her face and drags herself to the hill but then takes multiple glances at the ocean, the ocean needed her but she didn't want to cause trouble.

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><p><em>Don't die.<em>

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><p><strong>Fucking Jade. What is wrong with you? Positive feedback will keep the chapters maybe from updating a bit faster. Thanks for all the reviewers who's been reading this story and thanks to all who had favorite this story, favorite me as an author, etc. Thanks again! Until then, I don't know when's the next update since I probably will be busy next week. But who knows? Thanks for hanging in there. <strong>


	15. I'm Sorry

Author's Note: Hooray for you guys! You have a quick update on this story! Giving credit to lyrics of Gummy Ft T.O.P's I'm Sorry lyrics. Wonder how you guys will feel about this.

**Disclaimer; Hey Mr. Warp, I hate you at the moment for not letting me own victorious. I'm kidding; I love your work and I wouldn't be able to conduct this idea at all. **

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><p>Ch. 15; I'm Sorry<p>

_When the morning comes,_

_Will I be able to see you again?_

_I'll love you like the first time we met._

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><p>And here lies Cat, bundled up in piles of the sheets that was drenched by last night's tears. Approaching the spunky redhead, Mrs. Valentine cracks open the door to take a peek in the room. Through the bundles, she couldn't eye down any of the red streaks out of the bed and all what she was saying was, "Cat, it's time to get up..". Mrs. Valentine could hear Cat mumbling to her that she's feeling very weary at the moment and isn't in the mood to be doing anything. The child being drowned in her own sheets was laying there with her eyes open, gazing at the threads and fabric of the blanket that lays upon her, and eyes having the red veins and the feeling of how swollen it may be to keep staring. Mrs. Valentine quietly pleaded her daughter to get up, but she gave up quickly after the tenth time she repeated for her daughter to do so. The tension unraveled itself as soon as Mrs. Valentine left, The sheets weren't choking Cat anymore once she brushed it off, and the hour just began with already despair. She approaches to the bathroom and toweled herself dry after she washed away her face, her face was filled with last night's troubles. She came out of the bathroom, walked back to her room, closes the door, open her blinds a bit, and slid against the wall across from her bedroom with her palm against her forehead.<p>

Cat massaged her temples. "Heaaaadaccheeeee" Knock. Knock.

"Hey Sis? Do you want to go out shopping with Mommy and I? We could buy something cute for you and your audition, you know! It'll be fun! What do you say?"

Frankie's voice was muffling through her bedroom door. Oh right; she had auditions this week. "...No, it's okay. I already found an outfit for it..."

"Oh okay! That's good!...I wish you came though...oh well, not gonna force ya.", Frankie nods. "But do you need anything? You sound really lifeless."

"Yeah some damn medicine to cure my headache. Tyenol or whatever." Cat tells off.

"Oh okay. We'll get you that soon...", said Frankie. "Get better sissy!"

Cat spoke nothing but sat still to face at the lined lights seeping out of her window's blinds as the sun wanted to predict to her that today will be a beautiful day. Her mind blocks out the positivity as that the sun and the skies meant nothing to her at the moment, but her thoughts of Jade's arrival back was haunting her, haunting her nights, haunting the memories that she wish to forget, haunting her every movement that once she turns around, she feels as if Jade is creeping upon her and thus it's only the breeze she feels with the tiny hairs that shrieks above her skin and nothing astonishing is in her view she could cast on, she thought she was becoming insane. But there was always chances; the chances that there are traces of it since her older brother has that capability at some point, and that one night where her room was practically a battlefield or in debris filled with her stuff animal's insides all over the carpet, and Jade stating that she's different than the others, and her thoughts going into crazy scenarios, even the ones where her anxiety rises that she sometimes imagines Jade's happiness was like (after her departure). So it is now, in a reckless morning for the child, clouds fogging up her mood and the bedroom's features, the stench of last night's despair, greasy red strands flowing from her scalp and examines the fact that she hasn't taken a shower from the last time she saw Jade as she felt how much of her procrastination started to mostly become out of depression. Her face grew in wonder with theories at the top of her head. She rocks herself forward and backward at the question of if she'll ever lay her eyes upon Jade again. She listens to the birds chirping for her to take a breath of outside's air. The empty walls were surrounding her like they were becoming strict to her as she thought of trying to talk to Jade once again, trying to talk to her one last time to understand what's going on. She felt that she wanted to start over things with or without Jade, with a choice of Jade's. The perspiration was touching her lips as her tongue was rubbing it and the cracks of her lips were filled with moist and the thinking led her teeth to bite a bit hard against her lips. Any moment would be nice to see Jade once again.

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><p><em>I'm sorry for hurting you.<em>

_I'm sorry for doing nothing for you._

_I'm sorry for not forgetting you._

_I'm sorry but today,_

_I want to see you one last time._

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><p>"I really think you should visit her, Jade, really. Don't be such a gank to her and nag at me about this again; this is at your fault and decision. She's probably shocked about what you did to her several days ago. But knowing you, you're Jade, so there's a possibility she wouldn't be shocked...You don't know how she's doing after she saw you like that, dear, so that's why I believe you should visit her. Running off like that probably hit her across the face that you don't want to be around her."<p>

"Mom, a girl like me is suppose to stay home, be strong, pretend to not care on the outside, and stuff her mouth with food of which her mother always cook. But yet, that would be so wrong of me to just scoff off like that to her...I'm sorry I've been nagging at you about this! It's just been bugging me, the whole issue and what I just did to her. I understand the fact that I should visit her. But I have to admit I'm afraid. God, this is so fucking difficult, Mom. But yeah - I have to visit her, apologize to her. The next few hours, when I pluck up the courage to speak to her, I'll walk to her house, but hopefully it's the same place she lives, hopefully after I apologize, I could just come back home. Survival is the ticket to home...I'll try to forget this fear."

"If I was her, I wouldn't be speaking to you at all again," said Jade's Mother, "Cause what you just did was a bitch move. Woulda been utterly upset with you! As I am-"

"ALRIGHT; I GET YOUR ASPECT HERE. I'M GONNA TRY."

Jade was sitting on the couch and her mother was at the side of the couch's armrest.

"I actually want you to leave now," said Jade's Mother, "And my reason of this demand is for you TO REGAIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH CAT AGAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME? Or if it doesn't work out, you at least tried. I hate seeing you all mopey. Cause from there, it makes me vomit out sadness too for you. And with that, the atmosphere here is dead and it needs more happiness aroma within this household! Seriously hun; it's like you're dealing with a tragic break up. And god christ, you're hogging all the food!"

"Well fuck! Fine! And I'm sorry; I can't help my damn stomach!"

"Okay then! You have to apologize for the things that's suppose to be apologizing about. Whatever it is; if it's you hurting her, if it's you forgetting all about her or possibly you not forgetting about her which you sacrifice your happiness just for her, sorry for everything that has been trouble some! And remember, don't be so stubborn if she disagrees with whatever you have said or don't approve your apology."

"Whatever. I'm leaving now," said Jade, "Guarantee no difference will be made."

"Stop thinking and start walking."

"Hmph!" Jade strut out to the front door. Far down the street, ten blocks away from Cat's place, her posture filled with confidence but yet with negativity that seems to be in approval of her, spun herself with words that she should speak of, and was now, already passing the two blocks down to Cat's, eight more blocks to overcome, eight more blocks to ache even more. But she wanted to appear with an ego in a way, she wanted to show Cat that she had the strength to endure the agony raging inside of her, seven more blocks, or is it now five more blocks? She ignore the shivers that her skin captivates from the morning breeze, looking over her shoulder if her mother was spying on her and looked ahead to see where to turn to next, whirling the fabric of her long sleeves shirt she was wearing, four more. Farther on, as Jade struts in the gentle wind, she could see above her that an airplane was soaring high that she wishes she now could go back to New York so she wouldn't deal with this...

The house remains the same. She tightens her grip on her sleeves and approaches from the street, leveling down her regrets of visiting this place and her hands started to moisten as she steps more closer to the door. She set her fingertips on the handle of the door, The Valentines would sometimes would leave their door unlock, but she figured it was locked as soon as the handle didn't let her inside of the household, so she moistens her lips and tries to set her index finger onto the doorbell's button, with her tense about this. Cat, I really hope you're there, she thought. Cause I just came to your house for nothing since there are chances of you not being in there...Perfect! She isn't in here, I fucking bet. Going to ring the damn doorbell one more time...I honestly can't remember the first time I pressed this damn button...Fucking christ; if she really is there, she's being such a slow ass...Okay one more time, if no response then-

The door opened and there appeared the redhead. Jade coughed,

"Uhm. Hi...I'm here to talk...well, mostly to apologize back there...Could I come...in? Just for a bit...? Cat?"

"...Yeah." Cat brushed off the fur her pet left on her clothes and opened the door wide for Jade.

"...Thanks."

"Mhm...", said Cat as she bit her lips and closed the front door, leading them to the living room, "...So..."

Well, what is there to start, Jade thought to herself. Cause right now, I'm gazing and talking to someone who has been damaging my happiness for the past several years.

"I'm sorry."

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><p><em>But I gave you scars.<em>

_My sincere apology is late._

_I'll give you all my tears._

_Please forgive me, I'll beg on my knees._

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><p>Two cool glasses of water, and a word that tighten one's heart, and a laid temptation of breaking down. This was all too much to take in. Some of the words Jade spoke tingled Cat's heart as it ignited the painful memories and with that Cat just wanted to throw that enormous apology away with a bunch of other apologies into waste. Two cool glasses of water, tighten hearts, laid temptation. Cat hid the scars that was made for Jade. Jade's words demolished Cat's insides, Cat's mind. She was crushed by the remainder of the hurt that's been caused of before and at the same time, Jade's presence mingling along and Cat just wanted to break down to say she has been missing Jade. She fell back although under her skin and let Jade make a sound and smell of what Cat has been longing for, of what Cat has been desiring to retrieve for the longest of time. She whirled her hair into small curls. The sun poured over into Jade's eyes and it showed those fierce, ice cold blue eyes. Cat wanted to plunge over Jade's body and embrace her as if the world she lives in now is a safe haven. This darkness' hands has loosen it's grip on her world as it was like the day she met Jade, where Jade scared off the darkness and loneliness, where her childhood embarked into a light as soon Jade stepped in, swarming around Cat, when the history is taking place into the present and Cat in any moment, would want to just feel Jade's touch, touch that would probably burn her heart and skin, retched her stomach, so it could not keep on screaming within. Too much fire would ignite. Too much words. One of the words as said again, turn into a whisper knowing that it was too painful to hear for Cat. A apology. Within this apology, sincerity. The morning was looking at Cat and Jade. The history, the daylight remembers. And no one can help. Only themselves towards each other can overcome this situation.<p>

Here was the tricky part. Here was the time where Jade faces with the realization that her apology was several years late, her apology was ticking a bomb as Cat was in the debate to erupt at this now, erupt that it took her how many weeks, days, months, years, for Jade to speak to and come back to Cat just like that, among all the pain throbbing within her and secretly, within Jade but Cat does not have any knowledge of that. Cat traces the material of the Couch. And Jade was waiting patiently for an answer that she already knew that Cat wouldn't forgive this possibly since she stated to Jade that it's been too late. Once at a point, Cat felt that Jade had some thought to this and with what Jade said about the tears she gave to Cat, she couldn't help to turn away to hold in the tears contained in her.

"Please forgive my motives I've done to you, Cat. I'm begging you in a way..."

"But all that begging nibbles me all up, Jade. The whole event of before shoots me through here," Cat points to where her heart was, "I feel as if my bones melting away my skin to hold me up from just thinking about it. Goodness christ, it wasn't simple here when you weren't around! Remember that damn promise we made. You yourself stated that even if you weren't around here, you still would be there. Jade, it was just a coincidence you provided that you asked that question to me the last time we talked before you left. You moved away. And with you leaving, mostly, like myself, I was so alone and afraid. Couldn't you at least have called me...I know we had an argument with all the shouting that's been said. If you can, could you at least tell me why you left, Jade? In any way, you've actually hurt me...I missed you."

"My parents had a divorce. Causing my mother and I to move to New York."

"...Oh dear lord. I'm sorry...", said Cat.

"It's okay. I've been way over it...I wasn't over our argument and you though." said Jade.

"...Me either.", Cat whispered.

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><p><em>If you still want me in your heart,<em>

_I'll hold you like that day when we were happy._

_Those past days were hard for you._

_No one lent a helping hand._

* * *

><p>Tick tock.<p>

"Cat, I'm here now...if you still want me to be."

Perhaps, what is left for Jade to do anyways? Perhaps, she could give a peck on Cat's cheek with sincerity and passion of care and embrace her with all the might she has. Jade and Cat were strongly gazing at each other, trying to figure out who's turn to speak.

"Failure to ever notice that your departure you left for me was so difficult? Yes since going to New York must have been a thrill for you...Today, I never thought you would come back to me as I thought I was going to face another horrid day.." Jade takes a sip of her water and sets it back on the table settled next to the two so she could respond. Cat also takes a sip of water.

"Yes; it is an utter failure that I haven't notice that. but how was I suppose to know? We fought the last time we talked...And Cat, you don't know how much I really actually missed you."

"And I've missed you so much too," said Cat, "I just wished you lend me a hand for the past years. It's been difficult."

"As said about how difficult, it has been tough on me also," said Jade, "Didn't know for you it was...I want the past to come back to the present...It's one way to revive...maybe for you also...I thought being independent would fulfil my happiness. Appears I have been wrong all along and that to be honest, I feel...better with you here..."

* * *

><p><em>How many pains<em>

_How many accidents_

_How many tears you shed alone_

_How many pains_

_How many accidents_

_How many tears hurt you_

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><p>"I don't know what to do right now." They rounded the part of the conversation as silence starts to set in with unknown motives settling in, with the knots within their backs tensing, with a shifting of movements with the familiar scents of the havens the two placed on each other as they sniff it up their nostrils, with the unknown comfort they've deceived at the moment from each other's presence, with some words that were comprehended a bit long ago when this conversation started that swayed their mind, with the habits they've tend to always do whenever they're together, knowing that the two still left alone are remained to their old selves. How to start another conversation? How to keep this alive? One lip pursed. One rubbing her forehead with the unknown situation to engage in. When is it time to halt the silence?<p>

"I'm sorry for everything, Cat."

* * *

><p><em>I'm sorry for hurting you.<em>

_I'm sorry for not forgetting you._

_I'm sorry for not forgetting you._

_I'm really sorry, I love you._

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry yet again for all the troubles you handled by yourself. I'm sorry that I couldn't forget you because we probably wouldn't be in this mess we're having at the moment. I'm sorry...I'm sorry that I still care about you, that I have still hold onto you, I'm sorry I still love you and care about you afterwards."<p>

"J-Jade-"

"This isn't leading into anywhere than it is now. I have to go, Kitty Cat."

"...K-Kitty? You said-"

"I have to leave. You could think about this if you want..."

"No wait! Ja-"

"I don't know when will I see you again...but in a way...I still want to keep in touch...in a way...I don't know. The phone isn't working at my new house but maybe we could test fate and see we could see each other again this week? Maybe?...Anyways, bye, Cat."

Cat stood as she watched over Jade closing the Valentine's front door.

"...Why couldn't you stay?", Cat whispered.

"Here comes the feeling I thought I have forgotten...Uh oh." Cat spoke to herself as she sat still on her couch of the living room.

"It's perpetual for this longing; I need you here again. Wish that moment was perpetual. If you were to be here again, it would be. Where will you be? A mystery to figure. You give me directions but how could I get a hold of you, Jadey? It's a beauty to feel this emotion that I have longed for. A issue is that I don't know what fate is going to lead me into. Now, I'm speaking to myself as I speak to you telepathically Jadey and I'm lost...And I apologize with a passion that burns me everywhere; apologize that everything must have been so difficult for you also...So we were both missing out...And now, I miss you so much. You were right; I want the present to be the past also. I'm sorry for acting terrible the last time we spoke...Oh god, what am I going to do now..." She claws her face with her fingertips as she thought, where on earth was fate going to do between the two of them? It has given Cat and Jade the anxiety that there is a chance that they might not see each other again and another chance that if they did, what was Cat to say to Jade? One burst into tears as she tries to keep the same warmth she felt with someone vanished while the other let the tears drown her as she takes the path to home.

* * *

><p><em>I'm really sorry, I love you.<em>


	16. Lies

A/N: Wowwwwza. I've been so tired recently. THIS TIME I DOUBLE CHECKED MY CHAPTER. Only this one though. This chapter was a drag though. The last chapter is next. Sequel will be coming up. BUT, the sequel will not be posted as much for the rest of the year after this story because I'll be at Orlando for winter break. I'm enthralled. I really need to start re-reading chapters now to edit any errors. So horrid and embarrassing. Giving credits to lyrics of Lies by Big Bang.

**Disclaimer: Hi, no. Yeah. No. I don't own Victorious and it's characters.**

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><p>Ch. 16; Lies<p>

_A late night and rain falling down._

_I bring you back from my memories._

_I promised myself I would be fine without you,_

_But I can't help it. _

_I take in liquor which I don't even know how to handle,_

_Trying to fill my empty heart._

_A day without you is too long._

_I pray that I may please forget you...that's a lie._

* * *

><p>Jade slurs, "Fucccckkkiiingggggg aaaaaaaassshole isssssss meeeeeeee."<p>

Jade's thoughts speak and arise as she shakes the bottle of alcohol around to check if any liquid substance is still containing; "Eight years agoooooo...that's whennnnn it starttteddddd..."

Jade nods to herself. "Someeewhereeee underrrr the rooofffftopppsssss, the rainnnn crashhesssaboveeeeee...Theeeeee memorriessssss floodsssss my minnddddd wwwiiittthhhh loveeeeeeeeee...The loooveeeeee maaadeeee meeeee iinnnn dessspaiirrr thatttttt I tttooldddddd myyysseelllfff I'llll be fiineeee...Whennnnn to meee, all that's fiiineeee is the bottleeee and I..."

What is going on at midnight and the day before her auditions shall occur? Jade could care very less once she let the alcohol poison her mind as she gulps down the substance. Where does she get all that liquor bottles all over the laminated wood floor? Jade just retrieves it from the liquor shop a few blocks away once her mother was off for the night to have some time with her old friends that she hasn't spoken for a while since their departure several years ago. Is it the reason she wants to get drunk for the night that her heart isn't fulfilled and is longing for someone to come by? Of course, she says, of course, as she takes a sip while she giggles through the bottle. Of course, she says, of course, as she walks around the house with her knees so weak and her heart so hollow. A gigantic thunderstorm gushes through the rooftops. The immense clinging's of the bottles happens as she kicks them away softly from her pathway; the clings makes a sharp sound that it screeches her heart from beating, the pathway that leads to the same place she went to several minutes ago. She always has been a victim of despair. When it all ends, she feels the creases of her brain rising, rising to explode all the memories out of it, and spat itself out so it could forget what brought her into this issue so swiftly - so carefully - so hopelessly - so painful - so not thoughtful - so unbelievable - that it all leads her into the alcohol's manipulation - that it all leads her into an unacceptable condition - that this isn't the solutions to all her problems...What a relief she didn't drown from the poison...cause if the poison over powers her, she...would...be...drowning...gracefully...so swiftly...so carefully...so hopelessly...so painfully. The thunder fades. The clinging fades.

* * *

><p><em>Without you, happiness cannot be found in me.<em>

_I can't even shed any tears. _

_I don't want to live anymore._

_I'm so sorry but I love you,_

_It was all lies. I didn't know._

_Now I realized that I need you._

_I'm so sorry but I love you,_

_I gave you scars. _

_I should have never let you go to waste._

* * *

><p>"Oh my fucking god. Why did I do that last night?" Jade analyzes the small bottle of liquid substance that cringed her nose.<p>

"I gotta throw this all away before mom sees...She'll figure there's something wrong with me again. Something that has to do with Cat, cause that's all the issues she knows I've been struggling with. She'll figure it out...She won't figure it out...Fucking Jade. The words I speak are throbbing my brain. This is bad." But, there are several bottles spreading through the living room. She let her fingertips grip upon the bottles, so she can be sure that it won't drop. She let her nose cringe because of the house having a deep stench of last night, because she was drunk, some of the food from the fridge spilled upon the floor, and because the odor she didn't wash away from her body; that there's one bottle that contains little substances so deciding not to waste it, she sip a bit and her body shrieks at the taste. Then she collects all the bottles to throw inside a waste of a garbage bag. She tosses the garbage outside aside the garbage tin cans and watches it being swept away from the workers who worked with the waste company. Then, brushing her hands off, she walks back inside the house until she passes by the clock, hanging above the wall next to her and yells. Jade's head is still whirling from all this sickening. She felt beaten from the alcohol's games last night on the mind, scalp, lips, hands, arms, legs, etc. Everywhere on her body, on her lit memory of Cat. She wanted to yell last night, "I'm so sorry, Cat! I'm so sorry! I didn't think I really needed you so bad! I'm so sorry! All the scars and pain I have given you, I should have never let you go to into waste just like that! I should have stayed. I'm so sorry!" But, Jade gracefully grips her fists together and thrust out to seize the wall.

"Stop thinking about it...MY FUCKING AUDITION IS IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, AND I CAN'T FIND THE CD I BURNED MY VIDEO ON. I SWEAR TO GOD IF I RUINED IT LAST NIGHT..." She turns to the hallway and to the kitchen table. The papers, mails, and magazines are across the solid table in such a way as to make her hammer it down all the loosen screws left there cause of her infuriated frustration boiling, boiling out anything idiotic that could only just loosen the nerves bundling upon each other. Her mind is split into Cat and her audition that it slurs every movement she does. Her face is so fierce and milk-white; and within it's a kind of kindle anger but with hunger this time that it touches along the materials upon the table with her tireless power to discover where her CD is at. It is a pale surprise though; her dark blue eyes are fixed upon the world and the CD that no words slips out. Her clothes are filled with foul odor, and it whispers to her that it's time to wash. She almost took a glance at the clock as she hears the motions of it's ticking but she instead, runs to the bathroom, and the infinite sound vanishes, turning it to the water rushing to the surface of the bath tub when she discovers the time is thirty minutes to audition from the clock above the bathroom shelf, ticking softly. God, look where it got me, Jade thinks, And on with the poison, it reminds me that the side of me, the whole me actually, misses her so much, and life with her yields the sorrow's branches every day; And the leaves would rustle away from me for as I heal with her by my side.

Time to show what I got, thought Cat, all that I've saved within me is for the morning. For them, when I appear on that bright spotlight.

* * *

><p><em>And my habit of calling of you and wondering where you are.<em>

_I'm gonna change, I'll laugh everything off from now on. _

_I'm so sorry but I love you. It was all lies._

_I didn't know. Now I realized that I need you._

_I'm so sorry but I love you._

* * *

><p>Cat leaves the following morning during full focus of her audition and what she will show off. She could tell that her body is starting to moisten that the liquid is enthralled enough to drip down from her pits, arms, hands, and much of her body. She is also itching herself to try to get Jade out of the picture for the day. She finds the solution to hand the picture out, and tries to halt her habit of pondering about. She suggests just to focus on her audition presently, and Jade didn't appear out of nowhere. Even on the side of her car's window, Jade isn't there, thankfully. Mrs. Valentine drives her to the possible new school Cat's attending to that there's another house they pass by and once they reach to Hollywood Arts, she gathers herself and strolls through the parking lot, through the stairs, and through the doors. She lights her eyes once she sees a young girl with her hair sticking out of her scalp at some parts. She turns around, and the young girl also turns around. Then she could feel her heart shoving itself out, wondering if the eyes are trailing upon her body. Cat still stood there, slightly stoop-shouldered and distracted as her gaze is towards the other children who are in line to audition. She wonders if the young girl notices her, notices that full blush she hinted on her cheeks and it is rather convincing that now, the time would be the time to falter. She can't since she always wanted to audition at this performing arts school. A hand reaches her slim shoulder and touches it with a firm stab like a jackknife, then turns her around. It was only one of the administrators standing before her, calling her up to audition. Cat feels as if she is growing smaller and smaller once she saw Jade's gaze shift onto hers.<p>

* * *

><p>Jade builds up a pace to the automobile and arranges her seating position of the front seat to catch more of the height she needs.<p>

"I'm so sorry for being late...but honey, you stink. Did you wake up late or something? You smell like...a dead vagina or something," Jade's mother announces. Jade's smell is pretty horrid, but she rolls her eyes at her mother's jokingly remark. Every rocks from the ground, bathing by the sun's heat and motioning as Jade and her mother passes by, they start to scoot away from the road and the sun radiating itself to Jade's pale face and the rocks looking as if they were to crumble. She owns the morning despite last night's event. Still, her mind keeps on throbbing from the alcohol's last effects. It is time for her to shine...through just a tape she recorded of herself in a play long ago.

"What if I don't get in, Mom?" Jade asks her mother.

"You're asking me this because?"

"Because I'm possibly losing my confidence right now."

"You're getting in, honey. When it comes to you, that question doesn't exist nor the question of you if you really are the best. Which therefore, you are. So shussshhh. We're almost here."

The streets are being roasted by the heat. Every gear shift Jade's mother makes, Jade was willing to just slam her head on the side door till, her head bleeds or willing to throw herself out of the car to run to the probable descended of a line of children, waiting to audition. It seems that her mother never knew how to drive well as she failed her driver's license multiple times that she had to wait another year to take a test again. When she finally corrects herself on her driving, Jade turns to the door.

"Fucking finally!"

"Hey! I'm sorry! Trying to make sure my parking is good." Her mother told her.

Once Jade sprints across the parking lot, sprints to the entrance doors, a familiar redhead is standing there next to the line of children who are ready to show their talents. She wonders if the young girl finds her familiar that she is probably familiar to the young girl herself and with that, she twirls around, but Jade could feel a pink tint coming out of her cheeks, a pink blush forming over. Jade explains to herself that it's okay and smiles at the time they last time they talked. She carries on the sentence about how she wanted to test their fate before, since she couldn't figure out what else is there to do last week with Cat but now, fate wants them close, close enough until they stutter their breaths.

"...Hey honey? Something wrong?...", Jade's mother asks.

"It's Cat," Jade repeats, "It's Cat."

Jade's mother's face owns a shocking expression on her face since she thought her daughter and Cat weren't in terms anymore but, she understands now that Jade wants Cat around again with the way her daughters pants her breaths slowly as she motions closer to her.

"Well...go on and say hello, dear," Jade's mother said as she gives a light push towards Cat, "She surely has changed...talk to her again?"

Jade shudders the heat, the tension, the pressure, and the strength of her mother's push towards Cat. Although they have talked before, Jade keeps bundling up her nerves. She still stays in motions as Cat's name is called upon, and she wraps her fingers on her sides. She wears her expression with innocence as usual. There lies what she's been missing for the last several days and now, with the warmth piling upon her insides, she starts to show a weak grin to herself but it gradually fades as Cat's eyes shifts onto her and back to the door.

I'm here, Jade thinks, which means...whoa wait; she's auditioning for Hollywood Arts?...Since when did she have the courage to do this? And since when...oh my god. I'm auditioning for this school also.

She stands there for a long time. Jade saw crystals glowing high within her eyes on that very moment, which made her tremble her insides. Maybe this is it. With their broken hearts and content memories that they both cherish, fate did something that was grateful for them. Too many thoughts start to reform a permanent content and complexity of spirit in a human. But Jade; of course, was too numb to motion herself and even call Cat's name that it's too late.

"Jadelyn West? You're in line and ready to audition correct?" One of the HA Administrators states and Jade shrieks. She sighs then says,

"Yes...I'm ready."

She releases her temporarily grip on herself. She waves her hand and says,

"Wait for me outside when you're done?"

"I shall..." Her mother responds with a wide grin. Jade grins fade as she went inside the other room that Cat isn't in.

* * *

><p><em>I still can't forget you.<em>

_No, I don't think I ever will._

_Even till the day I die._

_Did the scars I gave you heal?_

_I'm sorry because I never go to do anything for you._

* * *

><p>"I've spent the past several days missing her," Jade said. "And I've been a wreck, jesus."<p>

"Hey, she probably spent years trying to forgetting about you but she refuses to at the same time."

"Well, how about that? Hah," Jade replies. "What if she didn't?..."

Jade earlier suggested to walk the park nearby. Her mother considered it in a way as she wanted a fresh air despite, Jade forcing her to go there. Jade knew her mother would never decline to go to the park once her mother noticed Jade looked stressed out. Jade missed the energetic feature Cat possessed. Jade mentions another complaint about Cat.

"Stop," Her mother says, "Maybe she's going to get in and you two will go to the same school now." Jade shook her head.

"You don't know how much talent she has, Mom."

"I want to be surprised if I ever see her show off her talents."

"She will get in," Jade says, "I just know it. What do I say to her?" Jade slowly shifts to a bench of the park. "Apologize?"

"Hun, all you do is apologize. Stop that. I just believe that she wants to start over and rekindles your guys' friendship"

"I should stop apologizing since it's gotten over rated...so I'll just beg on my knees more."

Jade looks across the landscape of the park and smiles at herself as she is the only one laughing. She halts as soon as she sees her mother's serious stare.

"Did you not hear what I've just told you?" Jade's mother says as they swift across the grass.

"...Okay, sorry. I heard you, yeah. It's just that I feel so useless to her. Never done anything for her besides pain."

"You gave her memories that she can cherish and was and always have been grateful for knowing and having you before. She looked awfully afraid there, Jade. But nonetheless, she looked as if she wants to talk to you after. And what did you do? After your audition, you ran to me, took my hand, and now, you led me here...with the damn car left out at Hollywood Arts."

"Jesus, I'm sorry...I'll just try...on the first day of school."

"For the love of god."

"Do you want me to run to her house now?"

"NO! Because you ran off."

"There you go."

"Why did I raise such a coward daughter?

"Watch your mouth."

"Okay; I'll rephrase that: why did I raise such a strong yet sensitive daughter? Better?"

"You didn't raise the part about myself being sensitive sometimes. I figured out on my own..."

Jade's mother sighs heavily.

"Oh, dear. Watch, she will forgive you. Stop lying to yourself, whatever it is; talk to her for the love of god. I bet on my life she misses you. She even said so herself remember?"

"I somewhat believe you on that for some reason."

"That's cause it's generally a fact. Talk to her, Jade. Talk to her. I don't care how long even though it's bugging me that you keep running away from this issue. But, the deadline is till school starts."

"Like I said; I'll talk to her on the first day of school."

"Strong yet sensitive daughter, you.."

"Shut your mouth."

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><p>I'm sleepy. Jesus. Hope you all enjoyed! Review if you like.<p> 


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